Fortune Presents Gifts Not According to the Book

by Telanu (telanu@email.com)

Summary: Sandman/TPM crossover. Obi-Wan has a near-Death experience (har!).
Rating: PG
Category: AU, Angst, Drama
Disclaimer: George Lucas owns Star Wars and everybody in it; Neil Gaiman owns Sandman, and yes, I shamelessly filched this story´s ending from "A Game of You." The story title and subtitles are from a poem by Luis de Góngora (although in light of the story´s events, I find the title is a bit ironic). Did I forget anybody?
Feedback: Please please please.
Notes: Okay, so I´m supposed to be working on Two Musketeers. I know! But plot bunnies, you know, they get...insistent. Plus, since I´m currently in Spain, our French guys are showing some nationalism and insisting they don't want to come out and play. I don´t suppose that knowledge of Sandman is strictly required to enjoy this story, but it would certainly help. Hey, if you haven´t read Sandman, you haven´t lived anyway.

I certainly owe a debt of inspiration to Emrin Alexander´s fabulous story "Choices" (read it now if you haven´t already) and to Susan Anthony´s wonderful "What Might Have Been." Though this story is quite different from both, they definitely got me going. Thank you, ladies.

Finally, I am working on a computer that doesn´t have an English spellchecker; I´ve been as careful as I could, but please excuse any errors that might have remained regardless.

Part I: "When You Expect Whistles, It´s Flutes"

Obi-Wan´s first thought was that he´d never had a dream like this before.

He´d certainly never stood in a room like this one, filled with stuffed animals, floppy hats, some kind of lighting apparatus that coiled up the wall, and irritatingly peppy music that piped in from some invisible source, singing:

"If you´re happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you´re happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you´re happy and you know it and you really want to show it..."

He realized he was singing along and he didn´t even know the words.

"Don´t be silly. With this song, everybody knows the words."

Obi-Wan whirled to find the strangest girl he´d ever seen standing in a doorway - and in his time as a Jedi, he´d seen some strange ones.

She was thin and pale as bone, with large dark eyes and a shock of black hair that seemed to fill all the available space around her. Her clothes were black too, and plain, and around her neck she wore... some kind of amulet in a shape he didn´t recognize.

"Ankh," she said, her voice quasi-musical.

"Ah, sorry?" Obi-Wan asked, trying desperately to catch his bearings.

She lifted the amulet in one white hand. Her fingernails looked slightly chewed. "This. It´s an ankh. Egyptian symbol of life-- you wouldn´t have heard of it."

"I´m afraid not," he replied, looking around again but unable to find any door other than the one she was currently blocking. Obi-Wan could not explain his desire to escape from this dream - as a Jedi, he was taught to accept all that might come as a prompting of the Force - but the desire was strong nevertheless.

The girl´s cheery face took on a musing expression. "And how did you get here, I wonder? It´s not that I mind the company, but my house usually isn´t open to visitors."

Obi-Wan looked bleakly at her, realizing he was stuck. "I´m sorry. I don´t know how I came to be here, or where here is, for that matter." He paused. "But I do know that I´m dreaming."

She raised an eyebrow critically. "Are you?" Then the dark eyes narrowed, and Obi-Wan was speared on the most piercing gaze he´d ever encountered. "You´re right," she murmured after a moment. "You are here in a dream, which explains a few things. Sorry I couldn´t tell right away. Reality is kind of a fluid thing here." She shrugged and ambled past Obi-Wan into the room, plopping herself into what looked like an extremely comfortable armchair. "You might as well have a seat, then. And while you´re at it, give me some idea of why my brother sent you here."

Obi-Wan was so far past confused he couldn´t have found it on a map. Still standing, he asked stupidly, "Your brother?"

"My brother. Tall, pale, no eyes, too serious but sweet in a weird kind of way? Bit self-absorbed?" She frowned and cocked her head. "Doesn´t ring a bell? My brother - the King of Dreams?"

"The King of..." Obi-Wan´s voice trailed off. "I´m sorry. I really am. I don´t know how I got here, or who that is, or why the Force sent me here, b- "

Another raised eyebrow. "You´re rambling, Obi-Wan. Calm down. Really, why don´t you have a seat?" As his legs folded under him, she added, "I suppose the floor´s fine. Want some coffee?" He shook his head no, slowly. "Well, if you´re sure. It´s no trouble. You look kinda cold."

He was cold, but coffee, whatever that was, couldn´t cure it, he knew. He was cold in the spirit, the way he always got when he knew something absolutely dreadful was about to happen.

The girl sighed heavily. "Look, try to relax. Think hard. Do you remember anything about coming here? Until I know who sent you, I can´t - won´t help you."

Obi-Wan shook his head. Remember? Remember what? He´d lain down on his pallet at the Temple, exhausted from a long day of training and studies, the room had faded from view as he´d fallen asleep, and then he´d come here and - No. There had been something else. Something in-between, just the quickest glimpse of-

"A-a book," he stuttered. The girl made an encouraging motion with her hand, and he continued, "Thick. With a chain on it." That was all. He didn't see how that could possibly be any help, but she was nodding, a lock of dark hair flopping forward onto her face.

"That settles it," she said firmly. "Destiny."

Obi-Wan blinked, but felt a little more settled. Destiny was a concept he understood. "What about it?"

"Destiny, one of my other brothers. He sent you here." She clapped her hands and rubbed the pale palms together, but no blood appeared to flush the skin. "Well! Now we´re getting somewhere."

They were? "Um, do you have a lot of brothers?" Force, that had to be the stupidest thing he´d ever said, but she was shrugging agreeably.

"I guess. Three and a half, and only one I really like. Families... you know." She stretched like a cat in the chair. "Okay. So let´s get to it. I´m afraid I have some bad news for you, Padawan Kenobi." She paused. "I mean, you´d see it as bad. I wouldn´t, of course. These things are all relative..."

The cold feeling intensified one-thousandfold. "What?"

She looked seriously at him. "Try and stay calm, okay? I feel terrible when people go to pieces. But apparently I´m supposed to tell you that your Master, Qui-Gon Jinn, is going to die. Soon."

A dizzy sensation took over Obi-Wan as, dimly, he heard her continue, "Bear in mind that´s nothing to be frightened of, at least in itself."

His tongue finally kicked into gear. "How do you know?" he asked hoarsely.

She gave him a curious look which quickly settled into a gaze of compassionate understanding. "Because," she said gently, "I´m Death."

"Oh," he said stupidly. Then, as automatic as the movement of water, "But, there is no death. There is the Force."

"It´s an idea I´ve heard before," she said kindly. "I´ve heard all kinds of ideas. But..." she spread her hands. "Here I am. And here you are." She cocked her head again to one side. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Do? About...about his death?" At her nod, he stammered, "What can I do? When will it happen? Can I stop it?"

"Not forever, of course. But for a while, in this case." She uncrossed her slender legs, crossed them again. "With Destiny´s tacit prompting, I can only assume I am to offer you some advice. A hint, sort of."

"What? What?" Obi-Wan begged shamelessly. None of this made any sense, not an iota of it, but that didn´t matter. If Qui-Gon was going to die, he had to find some way to prevent it.

Death sighed heavily. "Look, I don´t recommend this, all right? Messing around with the time people are supposed to die. My brother has a son..." she cut herself off. "Not important. Not to you, anyway. Just think before you decide anything..."

"Please!"

One thin hand drifted up to her face to brush the hair away at last, and she looked so...resigned.

"You can switch," she admitted quietly.

"I can - switch? Places? With him?" She nodded. "You mean...I can die instead."

"You got it."

His eyes fell to his lap. One of them, dead. An unacceptable choice. Was it selfish, to want to live? To have a long, full life with his Master?

"No, it´s natural. Just not possible."

He glared at her. "How long do we have?"

"Not long. It´ll happen on your next mission, in a day or two. You´ll have to decide quickly. And I have something else to tell you..."

"Which is?" He hoped it made the choice easier.

"Something very important depends on your decision. Again, I say important to you, not to me. I´m afraid I find your Dark Side-Light Side distinctions a bit arbitrary."

"Uh. What? And, you do?"

"Of course I do. And, I´m afraid, that´s all I can tell you."

"Can...can I tell Qui-Gon?"

She shrugged again. "Sure you can. Whether you should is up to you."

No. No, he shouldn´t - Obi-Wan had already realized that much. Qui- Gon would prattle serenely on about living in the moment and the Will of the Force...and then, probably very calmly, would die. Obi-Wan would keep this to himself.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. He didn´t know what to do about any of this, but he owed her that much.

For the first time, her gaze slid away. "Don´t thank me. I told you... I don´t like doing this."

"Why not?"

She gave him a sad, sweet smile. "Because I love you." She rose from the chair. "Time for you to be on your way."

Wait. Had she said she loved... "You love everyone," he said, understanding, finally, who and what she was.

"Naturally." Now her smile had the same warm quality as at the beginning of their bizarre interview. "Goodbye, Obi-Wan."

"Good..:"

Obi-Wan watched Qui-Gon as unobtrusively as he could over the breakfast table. Dead. One of them, in a few days´ time. Almost unbelievable. Almost.

Qui-Gon looked at him impatiently over the datapad he held. "Padawan, are you listening?"

"Queen Amidala," Obi-Wan recited instantly. "Fourteen years old. Elected to the Nubian throne three months ago after the abdication and subsequent death of her predecessor, King- "

"Good enough," Qui-Gon interrupted, his stern frown no disguise for the approval in his eyes. Obi-Wan grinned back at him.

"Thought you had me there?"

"You did seem distracted," Qui-Gon admitted as he rose from the table. "Our transport to Naboo leaves in an hour. Are you ready to go?" Obi-Wan nodded. "Good. Then we shall meditate until then."

"Master," Obi-Wan said suddenly, still seated at the table.

Qui-Gon, on his way to the meditation mats that graced the middle of the common room, paused. "Yes?"

Obi-Wan´s mouth stayed open for a moment before he said quietly, "Nothing. No, not nothing; I...I love you, Master."

His Master smiled kindly, though he looked curious. "I love you too, Obi-Wan."

"That is. I mean, I love you, Master."

Now Qui-Gon looked more serious. "I know you do, Obi-Wan," he said gravely. Obi-Wan wasn´t surprised. "And you know as well as I that you must not speak of such things. I am your Master."

He had to know. It would never happen, but he had to know. "After I reach Knighthood?" he asked boldly.

The noble face softened. "I think you know." A large hand briefly cupped Obi-Wan´s cheek. "I may only say that I anticipate that day with great pleasure."

Obi-Wan´s chin dropped to his chest in equal parts gratitude and grief. "I just ... I had to tell you now," he managed, and that was all he could allow himself to say.

"I understand," Qui-Gon said generously, though of course he did not, could not. "Come, my Obi-Wan, and be still with me a while."

Obi-Wan nodded dumbly and knelt beside his Master.

Part II: "One Man Swings In the Sun"

"An apprentice you have, Qui-Gon. Impossible to take another."

"Obi-Wan is ready."

All eyes in the Council chamber turned to look at Obi-Wan, who managed to murmur, "At my Master´s discretion."

Qui-Gon gave him a swift, penetrating glance, while the Councilors´ faces became uniformly sympathetic. It must be a terrible shock to the young man, to be so casually cast aside. And yet so humbly accepting!

If Obi-Wan had been paying any attention, he might have noticed all this. But his mind was racing, attempting to negotiate all the twisting paths of Pate, trying to discover what was coming next.

He´d been sure it was already too late on Tatooine, when he´d seen Qui-Gon fighting that dark monster down on the sands. But his Master had escaped - and Obi-Wan had known then, as he looked back on the dark figure, that he looked upon someone´s death. But whose? When would the creature return, and what should he do?

"Something very important depends on your decision." He could still hear her words. But he didn´t feel like he had a decision at all, like events were flying by too fast for him to take in.

The boy, he knew, was the key. Little Anakin Skywalker, with a midichlorian count that put even Yoda´s to shame. He thought again about Qui-Gon´s claim that Anakin was the Chosen One. Only a few das before the idea would have struck him as ludicrous. Now he had to be wiling to believe it. It fit what she...Death...had said. Something very important.

Turning his attention back to the present, he was astonished to discover that only seconds had passed. "He is headstrong," Qui-Gon was saying, "and he has much to learn of the Living Force. But he is capable. There is little more he can learn from me."

In spite of everything, Obi-Wan decided he´d have to make time to thank his Master for the sterling recommendation.

"Now is not the time for this," Mace Windu said impatiently. "Queen Amidala is returning to Naboo. This could serve to heighten the conflict..."

"And draw out the Queen´s attacker," added Ki-Adi Mundi.

Mace nodded earnestly. "This could be the clue we need to unravel the mystery of the Sith."

Qui-Gon bowed stiffly, and his two would-be apprentices followed him out of the room.

The next hour was filled with hurried, last-minute preparations for departure - yet Obi-Wan was not surprised to hear his name being called softly behind him. He turned to find his Master standing a few feet away, a hesitant expression on his face.

"Master?" Obi-Wan prompted when no words seemed forthcoming. It wasn´t like Qui-Gon to be timid about anything.

"The Council chamber," his Master finally said, "and what happened there - I´m sorry if I surprised you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan glanced over to where he saw Anakin sitting dolefully next to the astromech droid R2-D2 on the platform. The Chosen One...yet so young, and so alone, could it be...? "That´s all right, Master," he said absently. "You did what was needful." His senses were focussing outward again, highly aware that an attack could come at any moment, but sensing nothing amiss. Hell´s bells, if the dark creature didn´t kill him, the waiting would.

"You´ve been a good apprentice," Qui-Gon was saying. "A fine apprentice."

"Mm? Oh, yes, thanks," Obi-Wan said, hurriedly trying to cover up his inattention. "And, uh, you´ve been a fine Master. Anakin´s a lucky boy."

"Yes, well." Qui-Gon glanced back at Anakin and waved at him, causing the boy to perk up considerably and wave back. Wistfully Obi- Wan tasted the trust and affection that flowed so easily between Anakin and his Master...trust that he suspected Anakin could never have for another Jedi, not after the fiasco in the Council chambers. Qui- Gon had to train the boy. And to do that, he had to live.

If Anakin really was the Chosen One.

If Obi-Wan was calculating correctly.

Qui-Gon was speaking again. "You know...if my suspicions are correct... great Force, Obi-Wan, I don´t know that I´m up to training the Chosen One."

Oh, Master... "Well," Obi-Wan told him dryly, "you´re headstrong, and you have much to learn of the Unifying Force, but you are capable. You´ll have to do."

Qui-Gon had the grace to flush. "I suppose I could have been more forthcoming than that," he admitted, a small smile teasing his lips.

"It doesn´t matter."

Qui-Gon´s smile disappeared. "Doesn´t it? Obi-Wan, we´re talking like strangers."

In some surprise, Obi-Wan realized that was true. After his confession in the kitchen two days ago, he´d held Qui-Gon more or less at arms´ length, trying to be objective about everything while he watched and waited for events to unfold. But time was growing ever shorter--and he didn´t want for either of them to die with this distance between them. "I´m sorry," he murmured, taking his Master´s hand. "Things are just happening so fast." That was true enough.

"I know, and I regret that," Qui-Gon said, "but it´s something we can´t help. We are Jedi."

"Yes. We are." The whole reason he hadn´t tried to evade the Naboo mission in the first place. He was a Jedi, and he served the Force, however harsh its Will might be. He looked Qui-Gon directly in the eye. "You know that I love you. Whatever happens, I´ll always love you. You must understand that."

To his delighted surprise, he found himself wrapped in a tight hug. "Your ability to forgive astounds me, my Padawan," Qui-Gon murmured into his hair, "especially since it has never come easily to me. I love you too." He pulled back, a gleam in his eye that took Obi-Wan´s breath away. "And if you´re agreeable, I have some definite suggestions as to how we can celebrate the day of your Knighting."

A rock suddenly seemed to be sitting in Obi-Wan´s throat. "I wish...I wish we didn't have to wait," he mumbled.

"So do I, impatient Padawan. But we must, though not for much longer." Qui-Gon glanced again at Anakin, and released his student reluctantly. "I should go speak with Ani before we leave."

"Yes," Obi-Wan agreed, amazed that he could speak so calmly. "I´ll board and do some last-minute checks." He managed a smile as his Master touched his cheek lightly, attention already turning to focus on the child. Then he turned and ascended the ramp on trembling knees.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan circled around the Sith Lord like the well- trained team they were, lightsabers at the ready, prepared but cautious of the many steep drops in the generator room.

Obi-Wan had no doubts now that this...thing was a Sith, just has he had no doubt that the moment had arrived. The Moment Qui-Gon had always told him to live in. He no longer worried about having the chance to make his choice, certain that the Force would let him know when it was time. The only question: what choice would he make? His life or Qui-Gon´s--which would allow the Light to prevail?

As he blocked another thrust from the Sith, he reflected rather bitterly that Death had been right. Some choices people just weren´t meant to make.

The three warriors drew back at the same time, all needing a moment to breathe before engaging again, and Obi-Wan, becoming panicked, glanced over at his Master. His eyes widened.

Through the Force, Qui-Gon glowed.

His Master seemed to pulse, inside and out, with light. It formed a nimbus around his head and body, and he looked even bigger than he usually did - a giant of power, of faith, of goodness.

Qui-Gon shone through the inky blackness created by the Sith, by the uncertain future. And just like that, Obi-Wan´s choice was made.

Why had he been worried? It had all been so simple...

Heart finally at peace, Obi-Wan leapt back forward into the fray.

When the Sith made a sudden, sharp kick at his midsection, he was prepared, and dodged with relative ease. Qui-Gon, however, failed to avoid the next strike and was thrown off the catwalk.

Obi-Wan´s heart stopped until he realized his Master had caught himself on another, lower catwalk without too much difficulty. He now faced the Sith alone.

Have to get him away from Master. Have to tire him, wear him down...

Not too far ahead, he could see red glowing forcefields that he remembered from the palace schematics Queen Amidala had shown them-- they led to the generator core. Knowing it was a foolish move, though wise in his particular circumstances, he attacked the Sith ruthlessly, pressing forward toward those red walls, intent on sealing them both off from Qui-Gon.

In the back of his head, he could feel an urgent buzzing: his Master warning him to stop. He paid no attention. Oh, Master, do you have so little faith in me? Knowing that the thought was unfair, that love motivated Qui-Gon´s fear for his safety. What a gift that love would have been.

Not the time to focus on that!

He battled the Sith down the glowing hallway, the creature retreating easily before his determined assault, knowing it would have the upper hand in only a matter of minutes. At last they stopped, a few forcefields away from the core, halted as the glowing walls cycled round again.

Obi-Wan glanced back for the briefest instant, and saw his Master racing down the catwalk towards them. His vision swam for a moment. In another time, this all turned out quite differently...

The forcefields cycled off again, and Obi-Wan charged forward.

The warning buzz in the back of his head intensified almost unbearably: Qui-Gon was practically screaming at him. He tried to shut it out, but couldn´t, not entirely. He was getting tired, too tired both to fight and keep his mental shields up at full strength. The Sith was too much for him alone, too strong and much too fast.

They were in the core now, and Qui-Gon had skidded to a stop behind the last forcefield just in time to keep from getting electrocuted. Obi-Wan watched the Sith warrior carefully, still feeling preternaturally calm. A parry. Another strike. A thrust.

A quick, stunning jab to the chin.

Then searing, burning pain in his chest. Ow, shit, he hadn´t known it would hurt that much-

Through the haze of his pain he could feel himself falling to the floor, felt the agonizing jolt as his chest hit the ground, and heard his teacher´s howl of anguish.

Then there came the hiss of forcefields cycling off, and the clash of ´sabers as Qui-Gon leapt into the room like a man possessed. Obi-Wan knew another moment of fear: if only one of them was to die, as Death had said, what if he actually survived this terrible wound and the Sith killed Qui-Gon after all?

No; he relaxed. His vision was getting darker, and he could feel his life leaving him with every burning breath. He heard the unmistakable sound of a lightsaber cutting through flesh and bone, and knew Qui-Gon had won. Thank the Force.

Then large hands were cradling his head, shifting his broken body as gently as possible. Obi-Wan felt tendrils of healing energy being sent through him. "Too late," he rasped.

"No," Qui-Gon replied in a gasping sob, "just hold still and let me...Obi-Wan, why the HELL did you - no, no, don´t speak, save your breath- "

It was getting darker still, and Obi-Wan could feel a curious lethargy beginning at his toes and working its way up his body. How curious; it was like falling asleep, turning inside-out...but he couldn´t go yet, he had to explain, to apologize...

"Sorry," he croaked, and twitched from the effort. He had less than a minute left and no air in his seared lungs. "Choices, love." What kind of explanation was that? It would have to do. With a herculean effort, Obi-Wan raised his hand and felt the moisture on his dear teacher´s face. Sweat, blood or tears? He couldn´t see. "Train Anak..." Yes, Qui-Gon had to train Anakin. He could guide the boy into the Light and keep him there. Everything would be all right. He breathed a huge, surprisingly painless sigh of relief and opened his eyes.

The pale girl was standing in front of him again, still smiling. He felt like he´d just seen her minutes ago.

"Hi, Obi-Wan. I see you chose the road most travelled." She reached out and took one of his hands in her own - to his faint surprise, her palm was soft and warm.

He glanced down and saw his own body lying at his feet, Qui-Gon curled over it, his face hidden by his long curtain of hair. A few feet away lay the Sith´s still-smoking corpse. "I´m...it´s over," he said, not quite able to believe it. "I´m ¨dead."

"You are," she agreed.

His gaze shifted back to Qui-Gon. The broad shoulders had begun to tremble slightly, and Obi-Wan flinched when he heard that most- beloved voice rumble out in a low moan. "I´ve hurt him," he whispered.

"Did you think you wouldn´t?"

"No. I just wish I could explain. I didn´t have enough time..."

She shook her shaggy head at his hopeful tone. "I think you had enough. I´m truly sorry, Obi-Wan, but it doesn´t work that way." Then she tugged on his hand. "C´mon. It´s time to go."

Obi-Wan blinked. Time to go - presumably to become One With the Force. He hadn´t thought this far ahead. "Oh. Um, what happens now?"

The room around him vanished. So did Death. He heard her say gently:

"Here´s where you find out."

Part III: "When You Expect Flutes, It´s Whistles"

Anakin Skywalker watched his Master from the corner of his eye.

Today was one of the bad days, he could tell. He´d only been a Jedi for a few weeks now, but he had already learned to read Master Qui- Gon´s moods. Ever since Obi-Wan Kenobi´s death, Qui-Gon had been so quiet. Some days he seemed to handle things all right. Not today.

But Anakin loved him anyway.

Qui-Gon had taken him in and cared about him when no other Jedi, not even his now-dead apprentice, would even look at him. And Qui-Gon had told him more than once that having Anakin around was the only thing that made him happy, that kept him from thinking about Obi-Wan all the time.

Sometimes Anakin was secretly glad Obi-Wan was dead - it was one less person who looked at him funny, and besides, now he had Qui-Gon all to himself. Other times he was mad at Obi-Wan for dying and making his Master so sad. But feeling both of these things was wrong, he knew. It was wrong to hate anybody, so wrong that if the Council found out about it they wouldn´t let him be a Jedi. So he´d stop it. He was already getting better at it.

He had to be good. He had to make Master Qui-Gon proud of him so that his Master could be happy and strong like he´d been before, on Tatooine. He´d never let Qui-Gon down for anything if he could help it. Not his savior.

His Master glanced over at him from his desk, and even though his eyes were still dark and clouded he still managed a kind smile for his Padawan. Anakin´s heart swelled with love until he thought it might explode.

I´ll love you forever, you and Mom, he promised Qui-Gon silently, no matter what happens. And I´ll be the best Jedi who´s ever lived.

I promise.

"Look at him. He´s so sad."

"They usually are, my sister."

"You´re all heart, Dream."

"I merely see no need to mourn over something so commonplace. I certainly do not understand why you are."

"...I know. But this time...I was involved. You know how I hate getting involved."

"Why did you?"

"Destiny."

"Ah."

"He seemed to think it was important."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Smarty-Pants. And now I feel...kind of sorry for Qui-Gon Jinn."

"Would he not have perished otherwise?"

"I think he´d have preferred it that way. You know, Obi-Wan wanted so badly to explain things after he died. Life can be so cruel."

"How fortunate we are to have escaped it."

"Could you stop being a jerk for just five minutes and do what I´m so subtly asking you to do?"

"I do not like to facilitate communication between the living and the dead."

"I know. I just want Qui-Gon to understand. Destiny deserves to be bothered for once, don´t you think?"

"...You are pouting."

"And aren´t I cute, too?"

"That was not the word I would have chosen."

"You are such a brother!"

"I do not like this."

"Do us a favor?"

"...As you wish, my sister. As you wish."

Qui-Gon Jinn looked around and sighed. He was dreaming; that was the only explanation. He could think of no other reason why he should suddenly find himself in some kind of mazed garden.

He glanced quickly about, but there was no one as far as his eyes could see - just a seemingly endless array of paths that appeared to be ordered yet, upon closer inspection, followed no particular pattern. At least not one that he could tell.

Shrugging, Qui-Gon began to follow along the path he stood on, ready for whatever the Force wanted him to see in this dream. As long as it wasn´t Obi-Wan. He shuddered. At first he´d thought even a nightmare about Obi-Wan was better than no Obi-Wan in his life at all - until a seemingly endless series of dreams began in which his beloved student disintegrated, graphically, into blood and ash in his arms.

The first time he´d dreamed it, he´d woken, rolled over in bed, and thrown up. Now he just lay awake, unable to go back to sleep, unable to stop thinking.

But this dream wasn´t familiar at all. That gave Qui-Gon hope. The air was cool but pleasant, and the whole garden was inhumanly still. He continued to walk the path before him, never really considering stepping off it, surrendering to the feeling that nothing, absolutely nothing in this place was under his control.

"IN THAT YOU ARE CORRECT, MASTER JINN."

Startled, Qui-Gon whirled, hand flying to a lightsaber that wasn´t there. Behind him stood the tallest figure he´d ever seen, bigger than a Wookie, but with human hands and face. The rest of...him?...was covered in a voluminous gray robe that looked vaguely Jedi-like. In his hands he carried an impossibly thick book, which seemed to be bound to his wrist by a metal chain.

Qui-Gon´s senses were wailing at him, and, Jedi Master that he was, he knew instantly he stood before a figure more important than any other he´d ever encountered in his life of dealing with politicians and kings.

"Hello," he said cautiously when the figure seemed disinclined to speak again. "You know who I am?"

"OF COURSE," was the imperturbable reply.

For a moment, Qui-Gon closed his eyes, and again his senses went wandering. When the garden had seemed still before, it now seemed to literally buzz with the Force - Light, Dark, Living, Unifying. He´d never felt anything like it in his life. "Who are you?" he whispered.

"I AM DESTINY. AND YOU ARE A TRESPASSER IN MY REALM - IF AN EXPECTED ONE." The cloaked figure paused. "MY SISTER WAS FOOLISH FOR SENDING YOU HERE. AND MY BROTHER EQUALLY FOOLISH FOR COMPLYING. BUT STILL YOU ARE HERE."

"Your sister? What? You´re who?"

Destiny - was that really his name? - turned and began to pace sedately away, robes trailing in the dust of the path, slow, but perhaps weighted down by his book.

"Wait!" Qui-Gon called, following after him, back down the short length of path he´d already covered. "You said I was here...well, why is that?"

"SO THAT I MAY EXPLAIN."

"Explain what?"

"THE DEATH OF OBI-WAN KENOBI."

Qui-Gon stopped dead in his tracks. Then he swallowed dryly, the click of his throat seeming to echo in the vast silence. Explain Obi- Wan´s death? That was all he´d wanted in these past hellish weeks, for someone to make sense out of his apprentice´s suicidal clash with the Sith. But how was that possible?

Destiny paused and turned around again, one long finger tapping the cover of his massive book. "IT IS ALL WRITTEN DOWN. IN HERE."

"In - what? Obi-Wan´s death, written in your book?"

"OF COURSE." A brief, slow gesture of beckoning. "BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU ARE TO SEE."

Qui-Gon´s steps jerked him forward until he stood beside Destiny, the top of his head not even reaching the cloak-covered shoulder.

"YOU SHOULD KNOW," Destiny intoned, "THAT EVERYTHING IS FIXED, YET FLUID."

"What? But, how - "

"IN THE END," the deep voice continued without pausing, "EVERYTHING WILL OF COURSE HAVE THE SAME RESULT, NO MATTER THE MEANS TAKEN TO ACHIEVE IT."

Qui-Gon didn´t like the sound of that. "Oh? And what result would that be?"

For the first time, Destiny seemed surprised at his question. "ENTROPY AND THE ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION OF THE COSMOS," he replied, as if Qui-Gon should have known.

"Oh," the Jedi Master replied faintly.

"STILL, THOUGH THAT IS THE ULTIMATE EVENT, IT IS HARDLY THE ONLY IMPORTANT ONE. AT DIFFERENT TIMES IN THE LIFE OF A UNIVERSE, CERTAIN CRUCIAL EVENTS MUST TAKE PLACE, THOUGH THEY DIFFER EVERY TIME. SOMETIMES," A SIGNIFICANT PAUSE, "THE CRUCIAL EVENT IS RATHER MORE FIXED THAN FLUID. IF IT TRANSPIRES IN ONE WAY, THE SUBSEQUENT EVENTS FOLLOW A CERTAIN PATTERN; IF SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS - "

"Other things happen afterward," Qui-Gon interrupted, rather impatiently.

"YES," Destiny replied calmly. "OBI-WAN´S DEATH, OR YOURS AS IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN, IS PART OF ONE SUCH EVENT."

"...Or mine as-it-might-have-been?" Qui-Gon shook his head. "I don´t understand."

"YOU BOTH FOUGHT DARTH MAUL, A SO-CALLED LORD OF THE SITH. HOWEVER, YOU WERE NOT BOTH FATED TO SURVIVE THE CONFLICT. THE SURVIVOR, AS YOU KNOW, WAS ENTRUSTED WITH THE CARE OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER."

Qui-Gon´s eyes widened. "The Chosen One. You´re saying that if I had died, Obi-Wan would have survived and trained Ani."

"ESSENTIALLY."

The realization hit Qui-Gon like a death blow. "He knew."

"YOU REFER TO OBI-WAN KENOBI; AND YOU ARE CORRECT."

Qui-Gon sat down hard on the ground, head spinning, Obi-Wan´s last words running ceaselessly through his mind.

Choices, love. Train Anakin.

"You little bastard," he choked, fists curling and pounding uselessly into the dust. "You had no right. You had no..:"

"HE WAS PRESENTED WITH THE CHOICE," Destiny interjected mildly. "THAT MADE IT HIS RIGHT TO CHOOSE."

"Oh? And why was that? Why was he presented with the choice, and not me, or not some other Master-Padawan pair, or any - " Qui-Gon cut himself off so quickly he nearly bit his tongue in two. He was losing control. Had to get it back. Had to...

Destiny actually seemed to be hesitating. Finally he said slowly, "THERE ARE THINGS NOT WRITTEN IN MY BOOK, MASTER JINN."

Qui-Gon turned his haggard face up to the living statue that towered over him without sympathy or care. "He left me. He didn´t even tell me, didn´t - "

"DID HE NOT?"

Obi-Wan´s voice ran again through his head.

I love you. I just had to tell you now.

Whatever happens, I will always love you.

You MUST understand that.

Qui-Gon hid his face in his hands. "Bastard," he breathed again, knowing he was being selfish, but knowing that Obi-Wan had been unforgivably selfish too.

"WOULD YOUR CHOICE HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT?"

"I don´t know, do I? I didn´t get to make it!"

"YOU WILL NOT SHOUT IN THIS PLACE, MASTER JINN." For the first time since Qui-Gon´s arrival, Destiny opened his enormous book. "I HAVE ONE THING MORE TO SHOW YOU BEFORE YOU GO. RISE AND LOOK."

He very probably did not want to see it, whatever it was. But...

Qui-Gon rose and looked.

Musty pages unfolded a tale of horror: of how a young boy, his only guardian an inexperienced and grieving Master, was slowly and surely seduced to the Dark Side by a Sith Lord named Sidious. Of the monster the boy became. Of the billions of deaths that followed and the hideous empire that rose...

"No," Qui-Gon gasped.

The book slammed shut.

"THAT WOULD HAVE PASSED, HAD OBI-WAN KENOBI SURVIVED," Destiny said neutrally. "NOW: GO."

Before Qui-Gon´s stunned, half-unseeing eyes, the silent garden began to waver and fade. "Wait!" he cried. "Did Obi-Wan see this? Did he know? Did he- "

He was alone in his bed. On Coruscant.

Qui-Gon was not surprised to discover that he was cold, or that he was trembling. Without much thought, he rose from his pallet and went into the kitchen for a hot cup of tea. The hotter the better. Hot enough to burn off his tonsils, for preference.

He prepared the tea mechanically and then sat down at the table without drinking it, becoming lost in thought. As usual his thoughts were of Obi-Wan, but for the first time since the debacle on Naboo they were not tinged with despair.

Obi-Wan had chosen to die, if his dream was to be believed. Yet...in choosing, had Obi-Wan thwarted a future so dark it made Qui-Gon shudder to think of it? How he wanted to believe that!

His late Padawan had never been a selfish man, despite the grief- stricken accusations Qui-Gon had leveled at him in the dream. Instead, he´d been a brave man. Braver than his teacher. To choose to live without Obi-Wan, even at the price of the galaxy-

Qui-Gon liked to think he would have been strong enough, but was glad he didn´t have to find out. Obi-Wan, though, had never shied from doing what had to be done.

He would never know the truth for certain, but in life Qui-Gon had trusted Obi-Wan implicitly. He would do so in death as well.

The Council had declined to Knight Obi-Wan posthumously because of the erratic behavior that had led to his death. Very privately Qui- Gon had agreed with their decision. Now he knew better.

"I declare you, Obi-Wan Kenobi, a Jedi Knight," he mused into the silence of the kitchen. "Wear your title with pride and humility. A damn good sense of humor helps too." Chuckling rustily - how long had it been since he´d laughed? - he looked down at his tea and saw that it was stone cold. Oh well.

"Master?"

Anakin Skywalker stood small and uncertain in the doorway. "I thought I heard you say something."

Qui-Gon looked consideringly at the child, trying to reconcile him with the vision of the monster he could become. Then he patted his knee. "I´m sorry if I woke you, Ani. Come here."

The boy trotted readily over and clambered enthusiastically into Qui- Gon´s lap. "You didn´t wake me, sir. I was already woken up from a dream."

"From a - " Qui-Gon took a deep breath. "What sort of dream? A nightmare?"

"Not really." Anakin looked cautiously at him. "I, uh, I had a dream about Obi-Wan." The boy looked down again and twiddled with his sleep tunic.

"It´s all right, Ani. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I would, ´cept I don´t really remember it. Just that he was in it. I´m sorry, Master."

"Shush, don´t be." Qui-Gon hugged him close. "Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

Anakin rubbed a chubby hand across his eyes, already looking tired. "Sure I can. Jus´ wanted to make sure you were okay."

He had to smile at that. Not a monster, this boy - not at all. "I´m okay."

Two big eyes peered keenly up at him. "You feel...different."

"I do?"

"Yeah. Better."

"Better." Yes, he felt better. A little more at peace. "I suppose I do." He smiled down again at his young charge. "To bed with you, now."

"Um, d´you want me to sleep with you? You know, so you don´t get... lonely..."

Two pairs of blue eyes regarded each other solemnly, and Qui-Gon felt Anakin´s own loneliness seep through their training bond. The boy was feeling the loss of his mother keenly tonight. "Your company would be most welcome, Ani. Go get your pillow."

Anakin´s eyes lit up. "Yes, sir!"

Qui-Gon watched him scamper off, a faint smile on his lips.

He had one more dream that night.

He dreamed he was standing in the Upper Garden, the most beautiful spot in the Jedi Temple, with its huge trees, overarching and ever- leafy, and its endless paths of flowers and flowering herbs. It was the place traditionally reserved for marriage ceremonies among the Jedi. Once or twice in the past few years he had allowed himself to hope...

Quickly brushing the thought aside, Qui-Gon looked ahead to see two figures standing and conversing some distance away. One of them, judging by the brown robe, was another Jedi; the other was dressed all in black.

Guided by an impulse he couldn´t explain, he took a few steps toward them and, as if becoming aware of his presence, they turned to regard him as well.

Obi-Wan. It was Obi-Wan, but not from the nightmares, not battered and bloody; this Obi-Wan was flush with health and smiling radiantly at him, so beautiful he took Qui-Gon´s breath away. Just like always.

Standing next to his late Padawan was a young woman, pale with bushy dark hair, also smiling broadly. She lifted one thin hand in a cheery wave.

"Master," Obi-Wan said happily, and at the sound of that voice, so warm and real, Qui-Gon was sure he was going to weep.

He had questions to ask. Declarations and apologies to make. But for the life of him he couldn´t speak, could only stare, bedazzled, at Obi-Wan, who seemed to attract all the light in the garden.

The pale girl spoke up then. "Right. You´ve seen him. We should go," she said kindly. "I mean, my brother´s having fits as it is." Then she and Obi-Wan shared a playful glance. "Go ahead and say it," she sighed, still smiling. "You know you want to."

Grinning, Obi-Wan turned back to Qui-Gon. "There is no death. There is the Force," he said in a strong, clear voice that forever banished the Master´s memories of those final, thready whispers.

Obi-Wan blew him a kiss.

And then they were gone.

Qui-Gon remained in the Upper Garden, aching with loss, yet still very aware of a gentle, peaceful feeling creeping through his body and his mind.

Obi-Wan was gone, never to return. But he had gifted Qui-Gon with his life, and that was nothing to be taken lightly.

Qui-Gon took a deep breath, let it go, and smiled a little. Eventually, he believed, he would see Obi-Wan again. He had to be patient. And there was much to do in the meantime. Enough to fill three borrowed lifetimes. The Chosen One to train. The hidebound Council to rouse. The Sith to hunt.

For the first time since Naboo, Qui-Gon no longer felt an overwhelming surge of rage when he thought of the Sith. A good thing. He supposed he should consider himself fortunate. How many people, after the loss of a loved one, got an explanation, received this kind of closure? Fortunate indeed.

The garden around him began to fade as life and wakefulness pulled him away. He hoped he would remember this dream. He hoped...

Qui-Gon Jinn woke.

End