Disclaimers: George owns them but I went and asked him nicely
and he told me I could borrow them. No money or profit was
made.
Thank you Heidi, Virg for whipping this into something
presentable. Thanks also to my front line alpha readers Hawk,
Wolfling and Indigo. Although this is NOT a story in Anne
Higgins' Bonding Universe, I want to thank her for firing my
imagination.
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan have a bond. Spoilers for TPM and
JA books, just the teeniest bit. // // indicates telepathy.
The council door swung open smoothly.
"Enter Padawan Kenobi."
"Yes Masters."
Entering the chamber, Obi-Wan walked to the exact center of the
of the tower room and stood before the twelve members of the
jedi council.
"Done well, have you Knight Kenobi." Yoda's warbled tones
pronounced.
Replaying the sentence, a huge smile broke out on Obi-Wan
Kenobi's face. He was a knight. "Thank you Masters." Not
hearing a dismissal, Obi Wan waited.
"Know that in the last weeks, you have exceeded our
expectations, Kenobi." Depe Billoba's voice stated confidently.
"But there is still one more test to be faced." Master Adi
Gallia chimed in.
Warily Obi looked at the group before him. He was a little
confused. Yoda had addressed him as a knight but there was
still another trial.
Sighing quietly, he released his tension, "Yes my Masters. I
await your will."
"A matter of worry this is not." Yoda proclaimed. "A matter of
jedi privacy, it is. Wait we did until you were ready."
Obi-Wan remained centered, allowing the voices to flow around
him. As was his wont recently, he checked his bond with
Qui-Gon. It remained strong and through it, he could feel the
twinges of impatience as his former master fretted to be
released from the infirmary. He also felt something else, a
hitherto unknown wall in an area of his master's mind. He had
not discovered it until a few moments ago. It had not been
there this morning when he went to the infirmary. All had been
well when Master Windu came to the infirmary to tell him he was
summoned before the council. He had been chatting with Anakin,
relating to the padawan learner some amusing tales from his
master's travels. Whatever the blockage was hiding, it had been
constructed recently. Since their bond remained strong, it was
not health related. Obi-Wan planned to have a long conversation
with his master after this meeting.
"Open your mind we must."
Obi-Wan blinked and brought his awareness back to the present.
"O..Open?" he stuttered.
"Yes Knight Kenobi." Mace Windu's calm tones assured him. "The
Code does not allow us to discuss pair-bonds before
knighthood."
Focusing on Master Windu, Obi-Wan extracted the one word that
made sense, "Bonds?" The knight protested, "But I'm already
bonded to Master Jinn. I had hoped that in time that would lead
to...more," he finished quietly.
"Usually it does Kenobi, but in your situation it will not,"
Windu said.
"Broken that bond will be." Yoda said from his perch.
"What? Why?" Every mental shield Obi-Wan had slammed up like a
speared fence around his bond to Qui-Gon.
"You are already soul bonded, Kenobi." Sitting forward in his
chair, Mace continued, "Though a jedi usually bonds when he
becomes a knight and almost always to another knight or master,
bonding can occur at any time."
Obi-Wan nodded. He remembered Pre'Vin, a padawan three years
ahead of him, who bonded to an older Knight when he was
seventeen standard years. The Knight had been serving on an
outer rim planet. When he returned to the jedi temple he had
run into Pre'Vin in the arboretum. Within days the two had gone
before the council to declare their bond. Obi-Wan and his
friends had been envious when the council gave permission for
Pre'Vin to dissolve his training bond to his Master and travel
back to the outer rim with his soulmate.
"In rare cases, a jedi bonds as a child. You bonded when you
were two. When you return to your quarters, you will find data
cubes that you may study. Kneel before us Knight Kenobi."
Grappling with the fact that he was bonded to someone, Obi-Wan
Kenobi dropped to his knees protesting. "Bonded already? Why
wasn't I told? Who is it?"
"Release your shields you will." Yoda commanded.
Grasping onto the only sanity he had, as he had years ago on
Bandomeer and more recently on Naboo, he locked himself onto
Qui-Gon and refused to let go.
In the silence of the circular temple, an epic mental battle
was joined.
Across a vast distance, he heard Master Yoda's voice repeat,
"Strong in the force he is."
Eyes clenched shut, Obi-Wan fought to protect his bond from
being ripped away.
Slowly, inexorably, the might of the council came to bear on
the lone mind blazing defiantly in the center of the room.
\\Let go Obi-Wan. Your soulmate awaits.\\
Like a deeply rooted vine, the peeling of the bond from the
young knight's mind was not without pain. "No." Obi screamed
his denial.
\\It is the will of the Force, Knight Kenobi.\\ Had Obi-Wan not
been locked in a mental battle, he could have identified each
telepathic signature in his mind and as a padawan had done
several tests to do just that.
\\The training bond must be removed so the soul bond may be
acknowledged, Kenobi.\\
\\Why are you doing this? I do not WANT another bond.\\
\\Already a bond there is. Expose it we must.\\
The training bond tore free and in so doing a vast space was
uncovered in Obi-Wan Kenobi's mind.
Not cognizant, writhing mentally from the pain of losing his
bond to Qui-Gon, the knight screamed his anguish on every
level, "Master!!!"
Twenty eight levels down in the jedi temple, Qui-Gon Jinn woke
from an uneasy mental trance. His padawan needed him.
Opening his eyes hurt. Obi-Wan looked down at himself.
He was still kneeling in front of the council. His cream robes
fell smoothly around him. After the mental war he had just
waged, he felt that he should show some ill effects. His
clothing should be in shreds to match his inner state.
Mace Windu stood and walked to the knight. Extending a hand, he
helped the young man up. "Welcome to the order, Knight Kenobi."
The young man stood next to the larger jedi master. He was
still heart-sore and mentally bruised from his recent
encounter. "No wonder you don't tell initiates." He bit out
sarcastically. Remembering where he was, he clamped down on his
speech.
"I am sorry Knight Kenobi, your training bond was very strong."
Mace apologized formally. Like a youngster poking at an
emerging tooth, Obi turned his mind inward and focused on what
was there. Where the training bond had been, there was a --
wall. Startled he asked, "What is that?"
"Your soul bond, you feel." Yoda answered.
Obi-Wan was confused and looked towards Mace Windu for an
explanation. Sometimes Yoda spoke in riddles and it was not
worth another headache at the moment.
"But Master Windu, all I feel is a wall..."
For the first time in living memory, Obi-Wan Kenobi had the
experience of seeing a Master become embarrassed. Hesitating
Windu tried to explain, "A soul bond is very personal thing to
the parties concerned, Obi-Wan. What you experience is not what
another will."
"Read the data cubes he must." Yoda said firmly and closed the
conversation.
Taking that last statement to be a dismissal, Obi-Wan turned to
exit the room.
"Kenobi."
"Yes, Master Windu."
"This belongs to you."
Looking down at the Windu's open palm, Obi-Wan saw a flash of
red-gold. It was his padawan braid.
Not knowing what else to do, he took it from the master's hand
and stuffed it into a fold in his robe.
"Go to your room Knight Kenobi and all will be clear."
Obi-Wan Kenobi left the council chambers. It was the first time
since returning from Naboo that he went to his quarters without
first checking on Qui-Gon in the infirmary.
The request for an audience with the council was not wholly
unexpected
Qui-Gon Jinn assisted by Healer Tolkth entered the chamber.
"Where is Obi-Wan?"
Sighing, Yoda slipped down from his perch on the chair,
"Stubborn they both are. Suit each other well they do." With
those words. Yoda signaled silently to the jedi council.
Tolkth, Qui-Gon and Mace waited until the room cleared.
Using the Force, Mace checked his friend. He could feel the
faint thread of force-enhanced support the healer was using to
assist his friend.
"Let us talk, Qui-Gon."
Still easily winded, Qui-Gon acquiesced and the two men and one
Haileeain moved to the sealed windows on the periphery of the
council chambers. They sat on one of the thirteen padded
benches that ranged around the circumference of the tower at
precise distances from each other.
"What happened, Mace?" Qui-Gon Jinn asked. "I felt as if
Obi-Wan was being ripped from my mind."
Sighing, Mace confirmed. "It was difficult to remove the
training bond. Very difficult."
"So you shredded his mind?"
"WE did not shred his mind and you know it Qui-Gon Jinn. How
else would we have exposed the soul bond?"
That statement rendered the recuperating jedi silent. Casting a
glance at the healer near his shoulder, Mace nodded. "Healer
Tolkth, I will supplement him. Please wait outside until
summoned."
The two men waited as the slender healer left the chambers
quickly.
"Qui-Gon, we would have waited if we could."
"I know Mace, but he wasn't ready. I wasn't ready."
Strangely this statement produced a short bark of laughter from
the dark-skinned Windu, "Ready? What does ready have to do with
it?" Shaking his head, he continued, "Do you remember your
trials? Your first realization of who your soul mate was? You
have only been waiting for your soul mate for most of his
life."
Grumbling, Qui-Gon muttered, "Yes, but I at least knew what was
happening."
Discussing the bond required tact and delicacy, "Obi-Wan
mentioned he felt a wall."
"I have not yet removed my barrier. I felt that I should wait
until later...until he knew."
"Do not wait too long, my friend. Anakin needs to establish his
training bond with you, quickly and the imperative of the soul
bond must be met even before that." Mace cut in.
"I know all my responsibilities, but I will not force something
on Obi-Wan which he does not want." Qui-Gon snapped drawing
strongly on the force from his year mate.
"Qui-Gon, he is your soul mate. You're not forcing anything on
him. It is something he wants."
"Eventually...yes. But to be told this way."
"It is the code. It prevents us from speaking freely."
"Have I told you my precise opinion of the code?"
"All too frequently." Mace Windu sent a discreet mind call to
Healer Tolkth. The Haileeain entered quietly. "Take him to his
quarters. Knight Kenobi will take over there." Facing Qui-Gon,
Mace stressed. "Rest my friend, but not too long. Anakin needs
you."
The faint energy transference was accomplished quickly and the
council chambers fell silent. The lone master silhouetted in
the dull glow of Coruscant's continuous air traffic closed his
eyes and waited.
Obi-Wan entered his quarters. It was a tribute to how deeply
Jedi training went that he obeyed Master Windu and went there
first. Swerving past the open door to Qui-Gon Jinn's neat
quarters, he suddenly discovered one question uppermost in his
brain, 'Where would his new quarters be? With his soul mate,
whomever that was?' Carefully he examined the question, aware
of the delaying tactic that it was. With that thought
surfacing, he automatically sent his mind questing along a well
remembered path, only to slam into a mental wall. His training
bond was gone. In it's place was...Obi-Wan forced down the
gibbering anxiety he felt. It was unbecoming of a jedi. Still
the mental turmoil remained as well as an impenetrable wall
which had replaced his warm, textured bond with his master.
Was it only a short time ago he had been pacing outside the
Council Chamber, his padawan braid slapping his shoulder on
each turn? He had been going through his trials for the last
five days and he was becoming impatient. This was not what he
wanted to be doing right now. After defeating the Sith and
rescuing a badly wounded Qui-Gon, he had been the only one who
managed to be surprised when his trials were moved up. When
Yoda pried him away from the infirmary, Qui-Gon was breathing
on his own and he had been told that he was considered ready
for his trials. The former gave him more happiness than the
latter.
He wanted to share with Qui-Gon the irony about the changes a
small confrontation with a Sith lord wrought. Only Qui-Gon
would be amused his very understated reference to the life
changing battle with the Sith as a small confrontation. But his
master was no longer with him. First he had been gently pushed
from Qui-Gon's side by Anakin's constant presence and the jedi
council's edict. While Qui-Gon mended in a bacta tank and young
Anakin Skywalker remained pressed nose to cylindrical surface,
he was being tested in the five languages and ancient beliefs
of the Cathmayrn, the hierarchy of the Mon Calamari power
structure and for small breaks, neutralizing deadly tinctures
introduced into his body. Somehow, though, he found the time to
visit the infirmary every morning before starting his tests for
the day, and every evening, tired after a day of exhaustive
testing, it was his last stop before heading to his quarters.
It had been deemed wise to keep Anakin close to Qui-Gon after
his master emerged from the tank and the young padawan learner
had been given a cot in the infirmary two days ago.
Reflecting on his trials, he decided that they had been easy.
Even his last test, yesterday, the Test of Inner Self, had not
been difficult. After facing in the flesh evil personified, as
a Sith lord, and facing his greatest fear, that of losing his
master to the force, Obi-Wan Kenobi was able to stand before
his innermost fears with equanimity. The worst had happened and
he lived to tell about it. Had the events of Naboo not
happened, that test would have been a true test. He still
remembered that terrifying moment after defeating the Sith when
Qui-Gon tried to sever their training bond. Obi-Wan had held on
for all he was worth and yanked his master back from death to a
deep healing coma.
While Qui-Gon traveled back to Coruscant in a spaceship with
nondescript markings, but staffed with a full complement of
force healers, Obi-Wan stood near Anakin, and with Yoda and
Mace Windu's help, had perpetrated a massive conspiracy. Only
the constant presence of the training bond in his mind, weak
though it was, gave the young padawan the strength to watch an
effigy of his master burning atop a pyre. Through it all,
Obi-Wan measured the strength of his master's progress by their
connection. And now it was gone.
However, he had a duty to his former master, training bond or
no. Walking to the communications console, he accessed the
infirmary.
The wizened face of Healer Barta, who bore an uncanny
resemblance to Yoda, answered the comm. "Yes, Knight."
A vague thrill warred with unease at being so addressed...so
many changes. "I am inquiring about the status of Master Jinn."
"Master Jinn has been released from the infirmary."
Barta closed his eyes for a moment and his ears lifted, "He is
on his way to his quarters, Knight Kenobi."
"Uh?"
Believing their conversation to be over, Barta closed off his
end of the link leaving Obi-Wan staring at a blinking comm
light. Qui-Gon was coming here! To his quarters! Now!
Galvanized by this thought, Obi-Wan moved quickly to his
Master's--no, not his Master's--Anakin's Master's room. Giving
up that problematic train of thought. He would deal with it
soon enough. But first he had to tidy Qui-Gon Jinn's room. A
scant few minutes later he was casting a critical eye over the
pristine quarters. Not that he had that much to do in the room.
Qui-Gon had not occupied it since leaving for Naboo.
Finishing the simple chore, Obi-Wan stood near the entrance to
his room and waited for his former master. Still, he was
unprepared for the chime. ? Sending out a questing tendril, he
identified two people outside the chamber, one was Qui-Gon's
unique signature. Why hadn't Qui-Gon just walked into his
quarters?
'There is only serenity.' Mangling a familiar mantra, Obi-Wan
allowed entrance. The door split and slid smoothly apart.
"Master?"
Qui-Gon Jinn bowed formally, "Knight Kenobi, may I enter?"
It was only in that moment that Obi-Wan believed he was truly a
knight.
"Mas...err..." Stumbling over the form of address the newly
elevated knight caught the sparkle in Qui-Gon's eyes. It was
the sparkle that made everything normal.
Qui-Gon Jinn stood just outside the doorway to the set of rooms
he had occupied with the boy for the last ten years. A small
smile escaped the shapely lips as he waited for his former
apprentice to collect himself. After a moment, he sent a
discreet force prod to Obi-Wan. "Err, yes. Enter Master."
Obi-Wan tried to gather his scattered thoughts. The last time
he had seen Qui-Gon Jinn upright was just prior to being
stabbed by a horned Sith lord. Seeing him that way now just
barely banished those awful memories of him holding his master
in his arms, feeling the older man's life force ebbing rapidly,
while he frantically poured all his mental energies into
repairing the saber wound.
"Kenobi?" Tolkth repeated.
"Ye...yes sir,"
"Master Jinn requires your assistance."
Obi-Wan peered at Qui-Gon. His master, former master he
corrected mentally, did appear pale.
Tolkth sighed, "The force."
The young knight sharpened his vision and saw the wavy tendrils
of force flowing from Tolkth to Qui-Gon. "Oh, yes. Yes,
Master."
Qui-Gon waited in silence while the transfer occurred.
Supported now by Obi-Wan, he waited until the healer left
before speaking, "Damned healers."
Obi-Wan grinned conspiratorially, "That was not what you
described them as the last time we spent some time in the
infirmary."
"Don't throw my words at me Padawan. You had just been bitten
by an esterriche." Qui-Gon referred to a particularly virulent
snake-like animal on Dagobah.
Unrepentant, Obi-Wan continued, "I think the words you used
were considerably more complimentary."
A reluctant smile flitted across Qui-Gon's lips. "They were
needed then."
"And I guess they weren't needed just now?"
Obi-Wan brought his hand up to brush the dark material covering
the recently healed wound. His fingers came within a
hairsbreadth before he remembered. His hand dropped quickly. "I
no longer have the training bond."
"I know, Obi-Wan. I felt it's removal."
Qui-Gon Jinn, bonded to an infant some twenty one years ago
hesitated. There was so much to say to the young man before
him. So much he would have said before this, had the code not
prevented it. The older jedi walked toward the wide couch
slowly. It was the only furniture in their central area. The
extra space had been commandeered years ago to provide extra
lessons to his padawan.
He sat. "Come Pa...Obi-Wan, we must speak."
Obi-Wan dropped to his knees and sat back on his heels while he
waited for his Mas...former Master to speak. "You're my
Master," the kneeling man blurted. He was unhappy with the
changes.
"Yes Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan was reminded of countless conversations like these. His
master waiting patiently while his padawan sorted out the
confusion in his mind to ask a coherent question. "I can't call
you my former Master. You are, but..."
"Do you have a problem with Qui-Gon?"
Obi-Wan was startled. That idea was so...radical. "Er...no,
Ma...Qui-Gon."
"My Qui-Gon," the seated jedi mused. "That has a nice ring to
it."
A flush of red traveled across Obi-Wan's cheeks. "No Master!"
"I am not your Qui-Gon?"
Obi-Wan was inarticulate.
The jedi master decided to stop teasing. "We must talk
Obi-Wan."
The young knight nodded.
"Mace Windu came to visit me this morning. He told me that I
needed to form a new training bond with Anakin."
"I understand Master Jinn." Obi-Wan chose the most formal
address to make up for his earlier mistake.
"No you do not. After my trials, when I was knighted, I looked
forward to forming a pair bond with Mace. I believed that we
would be as other jedi pairs and travel together as mates. It
was not to be. My first assignment was to Alderaan. While
there, I wandered into the nursery one day by accident and I
found my soulmate. A two year old toddler who walked up to this
strange man standing in the doorway and invited him to play
with his taun-tauns." Qui-Gon looked his former padawan.
Obi-Wan's green gold eyes had widened to their fullest extent.
All the hectic red color had leached from his face and he was
now pale.
"Me?" Obi-Wan whispered.
"You were two. I had to leave Alderaan, leave you with your
parents. The Code is very specific in cases like ours. Your --
our -- soul bond had to be suppressed."
Obi-Wan muttered something. If possible the young knight was
even paler now than before.
"What was that?"
"Bandomeer?" Obi-Wan's expression was anguished. "We were soul
bonded already and you rejected me at Bandomeer. Why?"
Before Qui-Gon could answer, the kneeling jedi continued. "Even
now, there is a wall in my mind." Clumsily, he stumbled to his
feet. "I will go to the council Qui-Gon. If a training bond can
be ripped away, an almost dead soul bond should not be a
problem."
"Obi-Wan wait." But Qui-Gon found himself talking to air as his
former padawan left the suite abruptly cutting off his force
support. Suddenly bereft of the augmented support, the jedi
master slumped back onto the couch and wavered close to
unconsciousness.
Obi-Wan sat in the arboretum. It was deserted at this time of
day. All the students were in their classes. The masters went
about their duties unaware of the turmoil emanating from one
force-trained mind...all but one.
"Sit here shall I?"
Obi Wan looked up from his contemplation of a bunch of
rondenzenne flowers. The tightly clustered pink and green
florets reminded him of home.
"Yes, Master Yoda."
Yoda crabbed upward and sat on the stone bench next to Obi Wan.
The two jedi sat in silence until Obi-Wan finally burst out,
"He rejected me."
"Reasons had he, ask him you did?"
"No Master Yoda." After another silence, the young knight
asked, "Master Yoda, can the soul bond be removed?"
"Soul bond is."
"You did it before."
"Remove it we did not, mask it we did."
Obi-Wan Kenobi lapsed back into silence and tried to accept his
new knowledge.
In the temple, Mace Windu who had been monitoring Qui-Gon
through the thinnest filament of awareness, suddenly lost
contact. "Sith Hells." Moving swiftly to the communications
console, he rang through to the infirmary. "Healer Barta,
please summon Tolkth to Qui-Gon Jinn's quarters."
Mace did not wait for the response. In a flurry of brown and
cream flowing around his tall form, he rushed from the echoing
chamber.
Obi-Wan was in turmoil. Seeking a peaceful center was
impossible.
"Master Yoda, what do I do now?"
A rumbled interrogative was his reply. "Hrrrrr?"
The young knight was resentful but he explained, "I don't want
this soul bond to someone who doesn't want me. I...I had
feelings for my master. I believed that once I became a knight
I might have a different type of relationship with him. But he
betrayed me."
Yoda's ears stood almost vertical to his head. "Know him you
do. Betrayed you were not."
"But, Master..."
"Go to him you must."
Obi-Wan stared at the ancient jedi as if he had taken leave of
his senses. He opened his mouth to protest that order but
Yoda's eyes were closed, his chin leaning on his short cane and
he appeared to meditating. The young knight subsided. From long
experience, he knew that he would get no more conversation from
his master's master. Sighing, he stood. Master Yoda had
commanded. He lived to obey.
Taking the long route back to his quarters, Obi-Wan thought
about Yoda's words. The little green gnome, which was the most
polite wording he could use in his present frame of mind, was
always right. He did know Qui-Gon. The man had been his master
for ten years. There was no area of his life where the older
man had not welcomed him. What was so different about his
situation now? He had fostered a quiet hope that he and Qui-Gon
would pair-bond, but he was already bonded to his former
master. He should not be upset. It was after all what he
desired. He, at least owed Qui-Gon the courtesy of listening.
Turning the corner, he saw the door to his quarters open.
"What?" Suddenly he remembered. He had been left abruptly
yanking the force support he had been providing to Qui-Gon.
Skidding to a stop at his open doorway, Obi-Wan took in
activity in the main room.
"Qui-Gon!"
Qui-Gon lay full length along the couch. Tolkth stood at his
head, Mace at his feet. Their both stood in meditative postures
with their heads bent. Obi-Wan stood helpless while the two
masters generated healing energy and fed it directly to his
Master. Uncounted moments later, both jedi moved away from
Qui-Gon's supine form.
"He will sleep now. He has entered a healing trance." Tolkth
said.
"Thank you Tolkth." Windu murmured.
Drawn to Qui-Gon's still form, Obi-Wan walked to the couch and
dropped to his knees. Looking up at Mace Windu from his
position near Qui-Gon's head, he asked, "When will he wake?"
"In a short while. He will be much better then."
Held back from leaving by the misery emanating from the
kneeling knight, Mace offered, "I was with him when he went on
his mission to Alderaan. He left a part of himself with you on
that planet all those years ago. He's been waiting a long time
to get it back."
The door hissed shut. Windu's last glance was of a bent red
gold head close to Qui-Gon's darker locks.
It was the movement under his cheek that woke him. Obi-Wan
raised his head and blinked, "Master, you're awake."
As Qui-Gon moved into an upright position swinging his legs to
the floor and turning his body so that his back rested against
the plush couch, the younger knight scrubbed his cheek. He felt
the slight indentations where Qui-Gon's hair had imprinted on
his cheek.
"Mas...."
"Obi...." Both men stopped at the same time and smiled.
"You first, Obi-Wan."
The young knight took a moment to gather his thoughts together
then realized he wanted to hear what Qui-Gon had to say, "No.
You." Rising up a little on his knees, he touched the older
jedi's arm, remembering at the last moment to drop the Master
honorific, "Please talk to me, Qui-Gon."
Looking into the middle distance, the older jedi began
speaking, "It took me by surprise. I had never heard of a
bonding occurring between two jedi with such a great disparity
in years. After the bond formed, I spent two days with you on
Alderaan. They were glorious. You introduced me to all your
haunts and we talked about clouds. Mace completed the entire
mission without me. I did not want to leave."
Qui-Gon smiled. He could see traces of the younger Obi-Wan in
the knight kneeling next to him--most noticeable were his
remarkable eyes.
"Mace tested you. Your midi-chlorian levels were high and it
was determined that you would come to Coruscant the following
year."
Qui-Gon patted the space next to him. Obi-Wan rose gracefully
and sat next to the older man conscious to leave some space
between them. "Upon returning to the temple, the first thing I
did was have a 'discussion' with my Master."
Obi-Wan chuckled. He had been witnessed a few discussions
between Yoda and Qui-Gon. He was sure that specific chat so
many years ago had been one of the more remarkable ones.
"He handed me a set of data cubes and told me to read them."
Another soft chuckle erupted, "He said the same thing to me."
"I can save you some time." Qui-Gon's said wryly. "Don't read
them. Our particular situation was summed up in one line among
thousands. As the older jedi, I must wait until you are ready."
Qui-Gon shifted and dropped his arm around Obi-Wan, drawing the
younger knight closer. "All I knew then was the unrelenting
mental anguish I felt which I had felt since our ship entered
hyperspace for Coruscant. I couldn't concentrate. It felt as if
I had been ripped apart. Through our bond I knew you were
inconsolable. I felt your pain pulling at me." He swallowed
with difficulty. "I was ineffective as a jedi. The jedi council
came to a decision. They had to blunt the pain--so they blocked
my soul bond to you. Yoda went to Alderaan immediately to do
the same for you."
Qui-Gon allowed his head to fall back against the upper curve
of the couch. "Ten years later you were ready to be chosen as a
padawan. I did not want to form a bond with you. I remembered
that pain Obi-Wan...." He removed his arm from around the
younger man's shoulder, instead grasping Obi-Wan's hands. "I am
sorry I hurt you then Obi-Wan. The jedi council had not dealt
with a situation like ours in more than a hundred years. We did
not know if the training bond would form or if the soul bond
would reassert itself. You were still an adolescent, not ready
to deal with my adult needs. I...failed to take you as my
Padawan until it was almost too late. Forgive me."
A tight cold spot in Obi-Wan's psyche loosened and he released
a long-held pain to the force. "I understand now Qui-Gon."
The two men locked glances.
"I wanted to give you more time, but I must form a training
bond with Anakin and you are knighted now...." Qui-Gon's words
trailed off.
"Do you know how long I wanted this? I think some part of me
must always have known about the bond. I wanted to be chosen as
your Padawan forever. It was always that way for me. Knowing
that I was bonded already took me by surprise. I only wanted to
pair-bond with you. That it was reality made me feel cheated
and betrayed...unwanted."
"Never, never, my Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's lips thinned, "I believe
it is time to have another 'discussion' with Master Yoda," he
stressed.
"Qui-Gon?" Obi-Wan was hesitant, "There is a wall."
Qui-Gon Jinn gripped his former padawan's hands tightly and
dropped all his shields. "Will you accept a bond with me?"
Hearing the formal request for bonding offered was all the
reassurance Obi-Wan needed. He also opened his mind. Almost as
if it had never been denied, the soul-bond surged to
completion--thicker and infinitely stronger. Qui-Gon's lips on
his was just another point of contact between them. Leaning
towards Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan was enfolded in a loving embrace. //I
remember...I remember it all.//
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