Rating: NC17 (Actually it's mostly PG but R/NC17 in a few
parts)
Pairing: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Feedback: Appreciated.
Thanks: To the beta readers who encouraged me to post (Boots,
Claudia). All mistakes are my own.
Summary: Clueless!Obi-Wan eventually has an epiphany, but then
has to deal with I'mNeverGoingtoBeHurtAgain!Qui-Gon
Warnings: If m/m relationships/sex bother you, then you
shouldn't be here.
Spoilers: None. Starts pre-TPM and goes AU
Disclaimer: The boys belong to George Lucas, I'm just borrowing
them.
Author's Comment: This is a sequel to and starts immediately
after the end of an earlier short story, It's Hot in Here. It
would probably be very helpful to read the earlier story first.
Be advised that this story is quite a bit different though.
~ ~ Indicates thoughts of character to self / / / / Indicates
Force messages between characters Italics indicate emphasis
Obi-Wan Kenobi closed the door to their guest quarters softly
behind him. As it seemed that the party their Ventalian hosts
had thrown in celebration of the treaty was likely to go on for
quite a while, the young man paused at the head of the stairs
to survey the dancing in the ballroom below. It was quite a
nice party so far, he mused to himself, but he had to agree
with Qui-Gon; this desert heat did tend to make things rather
sticky. He grinned rather wickedly as he thought about the
`heat' out on the balcony that had made him decidedly sticky
indeed. Some of the Ventalians were quite imaginative in
expressing their appreciation for the Jedi's help.
On impulse, Obi-Wan turned back towards the quarters he was
sharing with his Master. As long as he was up here, he would
just slip into his own room and change into a dry shirt.
Qui-Gon, who had left the event earlier, was probably still
taking a shower or getting ready for bed so Obi-Wan took
particular care to move quietly. He changed into his last clean
civilian shirt but as he was coming from his bedroom he felt a
faint nudge in the training bond and heard a low moan coming
from the bathroom.
Sighing in affectionate exasperation, Obi-Wan shook his head
and moved swiftly across the sitting room toward the bathroom.
If it turned out that his Master really was sick after telling
him to go back to the party he was definitely going to have
words with that man. Pushing down on the door lever, Obi-Wan
was surprised to find that it was locked. He hesitated for a
moment, but another moan spurred him to action. After
delicately picking the simple lock mechanism with a judicious
application of the Force, the Padawan started to open the door
but froze in surprise at the sight inside. After picking his
jaw up from the floor, Obi-Wan had enough presence of mind to
pull the door toward himself quietly but couldn't quite bring
himself to fully close it. He stood mesmerized by the sight
inside.
The inhabitants of this desert planet had been quite liberal in
furnishing their guest quarters. The bathroom boasted walls of
cool light blue tile and a two person jacuzzi type tub with a
generous edging of dark blue stone and two convenient handheld
shower outlets. Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn half sat, half
sprawled on the wide ledge at the back of the tub. Six foot
four of well-muscled and obviously aroused nakedness was
streaming with water from a just-aborted shower. The wet hair
hung straight back from the upraised face; the eyes were closed
and the expression was one of rapt concentration. Seemingly
oblivious to his surroundings, the big man slowly ghosted one
hand down each side of his chest and across his stomach several
times. Each skimming touch was trailed by a ripple in the
muscles. As the left hand then delicately began to manipulate a
nipple to hardness, the right hand moved to the face,
fingertips softly tracing across the forehead, each eye, and
the flushed cheeks. As each fingertip roved across the parted
lips, it was softly licked and sucked in reverently before
giving way to the next. The wet fingers then trailed ever so
slowly down the exposed neck while the left hand moved its
ministrations to the other nipple.
As the fingers continued their gentle stroking and southward
progression on the pale, scarred torso, Qui-Gon began to
breathe more raggedly with an occasional low moan as he
encountered a particularly sensitive spot. By this time, there
were two men breathing heavily; Obi-Wan found he could no more
tear himself away from this fantastic sight than he could have
stopped the planet in its orbit. One part of his mind was in
denial; this surely couldn't be his Master, the man who
had always so carefully and academically discussed the required
topics on sexuality, sometimes blushing almost as much as the
young apprentice receiving the lesson. Another part of his
brain, though, was enthusiastically engraving this incredibly
erotic scene into its cells and urging a hand to move to
assuage the growing ache in his own rapidly hardening member.
The part of his brain that monitored reality realized that it
might be a Very Bad Thing if Master found out he was watching
so it slammed another layer of shielding in place.
Qui-Gon's hands had by now reached his flanks. The fingers
massaging stomach, hips and thighs carefully skirted the hard
rod which curved back up his belly and his hips were beginning
to arch as the hard cock was denied the relief it craved.
Almost as if stalking a dangerous prey, one trembling finger
finally reached out to trace the wet slit in the exposed head.
The contact caused a hitch in his breath and a spasm in his
hips as Qui-Gon spread his legs wider. Swallowing hard and
almost whimpering in need, he allowed one hand to begin
stroking the length from root to tip while the other hand
stealthily moved down to caress the sacs below. The water from
the shower mixed with the sweat now sliding down his face and
chest as the man began to moan almost incoherently.
" ... so beautiful ... want you so much ... " The right hand
closed around its prize and began to pump as the hips thrashed.
The iron control seemed to finally break as the writhing Master
next began to squeeze the tightening sacs and almost
frantically thrust and pump. "Force, I need you... want you ...
hurts so much ..." With a final cry, the milky seed began
spurting across the trembling belly. Sliding down into the tub,
Qui-Gon sprawled lifelessly, head laid back on the ledge, chest
heaving, arms hanging limply at his sides. A single tear slid
down his cheek with a final whispered sob, "... please."
Obi-Wan started as he realized the precarious position he was
in, peeping at his now quiescent Master with a rapidly
spreading stain across the front of his leggings. Silently
closing the door, he quickly relocked it, then, snagging his
robe hanging by the outer door, found a back stairway and fled
the building to the welcoming darkness in the outer garden. He
had much to think about this night.
The breeze coming in from the deep desert outside the city felt
almost cool as it caressed the heated face of the silent young
man leaning back against the comforting bulk of the ancient
tree. The serenity he reflected to the outside world did not
match the swirling turmoil inside as he tried to grapple with
his feelings about the scene he had witnessed.
On a purely physical level, Obi-Wan could still feel the
afterglow and buzzed from the intensity of the big man's self
stimulation. This was a side of Qui-Gon that he had never
encountered before, and he was having a great deal of
difficulty reconciling this person with the man that he thought
he knew and his feelings about the whole thing. The Master to
whom Obi-Wan was fiercely dedicated was a very private man,
very cautious about allowing others inside the wall that
protected his inner feelings and emotions. If ever there was a
living embodiment of Jedi serenity, at least to the outside
world, surely that person was Master Jinn. Qui-Gon and sex,
well, that just wasn't making a comfortable connection in his
Padawan's mind.
He snorted softly - Qui-Gon and sex had seldom seemed to be
entirely compatible concepts. He remembered his Master wading
through the various Talks, trying, not always successfully, to
treat each as if it were an academic lecture. Obi-Wan and his
fellow Padawans had had some good laughs when he made his
contributions to their stories comparing the way their various
masters did the Talks. He couldn't remember his Master ever
bringing anyone back to their quarters at home or on a mission
and he had never quite mustered the courage to ask. Now that he
thought about it, he couldn't even remember the last time he
had even seen his Master fully unclothed, never mind bringing
home one of the many offers he still attracted from those who
didn't know him.
Smiling ruefully, he did remember that disastrous
occasion when he was sixteen and a half. Waiting for a night
when he thought Qui-Gon would be away from their quarters,
Obi-Wan had invited one of his friends to his room. They had
told the other boy's Master it was to do homework together, but
somehow hadn't remembered to mention the class involved was
Advanced Humanoid Sexuality. After much hesitation, fumbling
and the occasional embarrassed giggle, the two young men had
finally made it to a state of mutually satisfactory undress.
The next couple of hours of groping, kissing and exploring
resulted in a state of definitely mutual if rather sticky
satisfaction indeed. After seeing his friend out the front
door, though, Obi-Wan was shocked to turn around and see his
Master leaning against the door of his own bedroom, dressed
only in his sleep pants and robe. Oh, Qui-Gon had been nice
enough about it during the ensuing discussion. How his feelings
were perfectly natural, but it was considered polite not to
share the expression of those feelings with the rest of the
temple. He even recommended a couple of instructors for some
advanced classes in shielding. Obi-Wan was certain that his
face was blushing hot enough to fry bantha burgers and he could
feel an undercurrent of discomfort coming from his Master
through the training bond. That was the night the devastated
apprentice vowed that he would never make himself or his Master
have to go through anything like this again. He would not only
learn to build adamantine shields but he would also make sure
he never again brought anyone to their quarters to disrupt the
quiet shared serenity of their private life. With his customary
thoroughness, this was a vow the young man had successfully
kept ever since.
Obi-Wan found that this train of thought wasn't really getting
him any closer to resolving his feelings about what he had seen
in the bathroom. All right, he knew that his Master had always
seemed to be private and celibate; digging a little deeper into
his memories, though, he had to admit there was at least one
period of time when he had fantasized about his Master `that
way'. The sophistication of twenty smiled indulgently at the
callowness of the youth of fifteen who had once had a massive
crush on the greatest living Jedi warrior. He did squirm a bit
though when he remembered how many of those fantasies involved
a passionate Jedi Master touching him the way Qui-Gon had
touched himself tonight. Perhaps this was the source of his
conflicting feelings, perhaps what he had felt tonight reached
back to a part of his life he had thought to be very private
and very securely locked away.
Pulling out this new thread from his skein of tumbled thoughts
for a closer look, Obi-Wan tried to examine it objectively.
Given how little he had really known about sex at the time and
how very thoroughly Qui- Gon had quashed the romance, he
thought he could honestly say that little episode was truly
gone and buried. It did, however, give rise to some more
questions. How did he feel about sex today? How did he really
feel about his Master today? And why was the connection between
the two causing him such disquiet?
Again trying to be as objective as possible, Obi-Wan knew that
while he may not be the galaxy's greatest lover he was
certainly neither naive nor stupid. These last few years he had
come to accept the fact that he was both desirable and desired;
in fact he had found that he enjoyed the pursuit almost as much
as being caught. He would never deny that he enjoyed sex; it
satisfied a deep craving he had always had for physical
comfort, a lack of which being one of the few needs his master
had not been able to fulfill as the apprentice grew older.
Obi-Wan was certainly aware of his own reputation in the Temple
and he could hardly claim not to understand the many offers he
got on missions to humanoid planets. In looking back, however,
he was surprised to realize just how selective he seemed to
have really been. Aside from a small circle of close friends at
the Temple, he had never slept with the same person more than
once. And, reputation nothwithstanding, far more of the
`Padawan pursuits' had ended with a kiss or a diplomatic
refusal than had been consummated. Even allowing for the
several missions they had been on lately, he was a bit taken
aback when he realized that his adventure with the Ventalian
twins tonight was the first time in almost four months that he
had, so to speak, gotten it on. He pondered on this for a
while; sex certainly was enjoyable and it made him feel good if
his partner was also happy. But the more he thought about it,
the more he began to think that perhaps the physical pleasure
he got from this activity wasn't quite the total package of
happiness he desired. To be honest about it, he couldn't
remember much of any sort of emotional fulfillment from his
extracurricular activities beyond the physical pleasure and
momentary attachment. Aha, perhaps this was the clue he was
seeking tonight.
Turning to a consideration of his relationship with his Master,
the Padawan grinned. If you wanted to talk about commitment and
emotional fulfillment, well, that side of his life had it in
spades. Admittedly, they had gotten off to a rather rocky start
and there were certainly plenty of times that Obi-Wan had been,
to put it politely, less than appreciative of the things
Qui-Gon had required of him. As he had come to know the Master
better, however, he had come to realize that behind the Jedi
serenity was a deeply passionate, and exceptionally
compassionate, man. Although widely reputed to be a rebel and
maverick, Obi-Wan knew that it was his Master's bedrock beliefs
in the Living Force and his own interpretation of the Code that
led him to defy the Council when he thought it was necessary.
He had seen his Master give unstintingly of himself to help
others, often driving himself to exhaustion or putting himself
in great danger to do what he believed was right. There were
times when Obi-Wan wished his Master could perhaps be a
little less obstinate and a little more tactful
with the Council, though. He didn't find it particularly
enjoyable to get dragged along to the Council Chamber and have
to listen to his Master being raked over the coals quite so
often. On the other hand, it was very comforting to know that
Qui-Gon was just as dedicated and obstinate when it came to the
care and feeding of one each Padawan learner. For many years
now he had known that Qui-Gon cared deeply for him and he
willingly worked hard to entice a rare smile or word of praise
from this man who demanded much but also gave so very much in
return. Obi-Wan believed that it was mostly due to his Master's
efforts that the apprentice had turned out as well as he had
and was deeply grateful for those efforts. He knew full well by
now that, warrior and diplomat par excellence though his Master
was, Qui-Gon Jinn was still a man and not without his faults,
but that only made Obi-Wan love the man all the more. Their
training bond was widely acknowledged to be one of the deepest
in the Order and the team of Jinn and Kenobi was given the most
difficult missions because they were one of the best. Some of
the happiest times he remembered were those quiet times he
shared with his Master, studying or reading in between
missions. He derived great emotional satisfaction from feeling
the deep connection through their bond, knowing that he was a
wanted part of this extraordinary man's life.
Over the garden wall, the first pale tendrils of light from the
approaching dawn were beginning to appear. Obi-Wan realized
that he had been thinking for several hours and had yet to
resolve the original questions that sent him out here.
~ All right, Padawn~ he berated himself. ~ Let's be logical
about this. What, if anything, have you actually figured out so
far?~
~ Ok, you like sex because it gives you a real buzz, check. You
love your Master but don't normally think of him as an object
of lust, check. However, said Master polishing the lightsaber
sure as Force turned you on, check ... sooooooo, is the problem
that you are feeling like you shouldn't have been turned on
because it was your Master? ~
Obi-Wan pondered for a few minutes.
~ Well, to be honest about it, I think part of what's really
bothering me here is that I wasn't supposed to see that. I know
I don't know everything about my Master; he's a very private
man and he's certainly never really been comfortable talking
about sex with me, but I'm beginning to think maybe that was
because I was so young. I mean, after all, he did make sure I
got all the lessons, he's always encouraged me to enjoy myself
with my friends, and he rather obviously knows a little
something about self-pleasure, at least. That is one
fine body the man has, though; I think if he showed even
a little interest I'd have to at least think seriously about
going after him. ~ He grimaced a little. ~ Unfortunately,
between his silence and the Code restrictions, it doesn't look
like that's going to be a question I have to worry about
anytime soon. ~
~ All right, I guess at least part of the way I'm feeling now
is guilt for violating my Master's privacy. But there's
something more I can't quite pin down, something else that's
bothering me about what I saw. ~ Obi-Wan paused to think about
just what it was he thought he saw. ~ You know, Padawan, I
think it might be what you heard that's bothering you more than
what you saw. ~
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and used the recall exercise to replay
the entire sequence of events in his mind. Several minutes
later he took in a deep breath and opened his eyes. ~ That was
no idle pleasuring, was it. ~ He paused for another deep
breath. ~ How could I possibly have missed that, the need and
desire in that voice. He surely seems to have it bad for
someone. But what I heard didn't sound very happy at all. Could
it be that Qui-Gon wants someone who doesn't want him? ~
"Oh Master. What is going on?" he whispered. "And what I am
supposed to do now?"
The dawn was far enough advanced for Obi-Wan to distinguish
colors in the garden and he knew he had to get back to their
quarters soon. He still had much upon which he wanted to
meditate, but for the time being he had decided silence was the
best policy. Although he felt uneasy about violating his
Master's privacy by watching him masturbate, he was far more
concerned about the pain he had heard in Qui-Gon's voice.
Obi-Wan decided he was going to keep an eye out when they
returned to the Temple; if there was someone hurting his
Master, he was going to find out what was going on and do
something about it. Yes, that was the plan; quiet watchfulness
would see him through. Meanwhile, he would make sure he worked
even harder to be the best Padawan possible; his Master would
have no extra pain caused by any shortcomings on his part! With
his mind now set, Obi-Wan drew on his robe and returned
silently to his room.
Obi-Wan Kenobi found the events of the next year to be both
rewarding and frustrating. He worked hard in his studies and
drills, successfully completing much of the required advanced
course work in between several stressful missions.
Concentrating on trying to unobtrusively watch his Master, he
became more sensitive to changes and even small fluctuations in
their bond, becoming even more closely aligned with his
Master's feelings. This was gratifying in one aspect in that it
allowed him to detect the depth of pride the outwardly
undemonstrative Qui-Gon felt in his Padawan's progress. It was
also distressing, however, because it allowed him to detect
more of his Master's disquiet, whether it was over a failed
mission, a disagreement with the Council or the occasional
lapses in serenity. In addition, although he watched as closely
as he could, short of dogging his Master's footsteps
twenty-four hours a day, he simply could not find out if his
Master was seeing anyone. For the most part (if you didn't
count the occasional diatribe against another fusty Council
decision which only his Padawan was allowed to see), Qui-Gon
continued to be his unfailingly polite, diplomatic and serene
self on missions and at home. Obi-Wan tried staying home more
often, coming home earlier, coming home later, even following
his Master on a few occasions, but, outside the many people
they both met at official functions, Qui-Gon apparently only
socialized with the relatively small circle of friends he had
known for years. The closest that Obi-Wan came to noticing
anything were a few occasions when he was certain he felt that
same nudge in their bond that had alerted him in Vental; they
only came, however, when he was away from their quarters and
Qui-Gon seemed to be unaware he was letting anything slip.
There were more changes that year. For the last few years
Qui-Gon had been gradually entrusting his Padawan with more
responsibility on their missions but he now began allowing him
to write entire mission reports and gave him some opportunities
to present the mission debriefing to the Council. The first
time Obi-Wan did both the report and briefing his stomach was
fluttering so badly he was afraid he was going to throw up
right there in the Council Chamber but Qui-Gon unobtrusively
sent a flow of reassurance over their bond. With that support,
he even managed to earn smiles from both his Master and Yoda
after successfully fending off several pesky questions from
various Council Members. Although appreciative of the increased
professional responsibilities and personal freedom that came
with being a Senior Padawan, Obi-Wan regretted that his Master
was decreasing even further their already minimal physical
contact. Although Obi-Wan still had occasional liaisons with
friends, he had continued to speculate more and more on the
attractiveness of sharing the physical side of his life with
this man with whom he already shared such a deep emotional
link.
After almost a year, the frustration began to reach a crescendo
in the Padawan. Obi-Wan noticed that his Master had begun to
spend more time away from him in meditation, there were more
occasions when Obi-Wan believed he could detect an aching
sadness leaking through his Master's shields, but he still had
not been able to find even a clue about who or what was causing
his Master such distress. And his Master continued to push him
away physically. Six months after Vental, Qui-Gon abruptly
began sleeping on the floor when they only had one bed on a
mission and sent his apprentice to another Master for the
required advanced work in hand to hand combat skills. Almost
nine months after Vental, they were on a mission to a planet
deep in its winter cycle when they were caught out in the open
for two nights. Qui-Gon had not only refused to share bedrolls
for warmth but had actually rather caustically reproved his
apprentice for his shortcomings in the ability to control his
internal temperature. Although they weren't in any immediate
danger of freezing, Obi-Wan was hurt by his Master's brusque
rejection of what he had thought to be a common sense
suggestion. The final straw, though, was the annual competition
at the Temple.
Aside from meditating together, one of the most intense and
pleasurable aspects of Obi-Wan's relationship with his Master
was their lightsaber training. They both enjoyed the physical
exertion but even more they enjoyed the connection it gave them
with the Force. Once Obi-Wan had finally learned to fully
center himself and give himself over to the Force when they
sparred, the two men had found that their sparring sessions
raised them both to new heights of physical and emotional
focus. Best of all, however, was when they fought together as a
team. It was then that the Force joined them together, allowing
them to function as one being. It was beyond anything Obi-Wan
had ever felt with any other person and it also made them a
very formidable team. They were the only Master-Padawan team to
win the open pairs lightsaber competition two years in a row
and Obi-Wan had been looking forward to defending their title
this year. Fortunately, their mission schedule allowed them to
be on Coruscant in time to practice and participate. The
competition this year proved to be exceptionally challenging
but Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan made it to the finals and found
themselves facing a veteran Master-Knight bonded pair who had
recently returned from another temple. The last match was a
long and grueling affair which pushed both teams to their
limits but eventually Qui-Gon's superior swordsmanship began to
tell. With the Force pulsing in the air and seemingly directing
their movements, they were able to finally vanquish their foes
when Qui-Gon boldly took on both Jedi in a fierce offensive
which gave Obi-Wan enough time to slip behind them and disarm
the Master, leaving Qui-Gon to make short work of the remaining
Knight. Streaming with sweat and chests heaving, the triumphant
pair saluted their opponents, then turned to each other with
big grins. Obi-Wan had never felt so at one with his Master and
could still feel the Force singing through their bond and
swirling around them. His Master's eyes were shining with the
pride and joy that Obi-Wan could clearly feel across their
bond. Qui-Gon reached out to offer a rare hug which was eagerly
returned by his euphoric Padawan. Suddenly, however, Qui-Gon
stiffened and pushed the young man away, slamming down his
shields so suddenly that Obi-Wan felt like he had been kicked
in the gut. Stepping back, Qui-Gon murmured a quiet "Well done,
Padawan", before wheeling away and leaving his stunned
apprentice to stare after him in bewilderment. Only half
hearing the many congratulations that accompanied them as he
followed his Master through the crowd and out of the arena,
Obi-Wan gritted his teeth and decided he was going to find out
what was wrong with Qui-Gon Jinn if it killed him.
The next opportunity soon arrived. Several of Obi-Wan's friends
were all back on Coruscant at the same time and they decided to
get together for a party. Obi-Wan was able to rearrange his
schedule so the morning after the party was free and made sure
to notify his Master well in advance about the party and the
fact that he expected tobe gone the entire night. As the date
grew closer, Obi-Wan mentioned the party frequently, making
several suggestive comments about the activities he was
`looking forward to' in order to reinforce the idea that he
would be gone all night. In the mean time, he practiced his own
shielding and worked on a plan for the night of the party to
convince his friends he was sick so he would be able to slip
back to the quarters he shared with his Master.
Obi-Wan spent the afternoon prior to the party keeping an eye
on Qui- Gon. Dressed only in an old pair of workout leggings,
he lounged on the couch in their common area, ostensibly
catching up on reading while surreptitiously watching Qui-Gon
prepare for a senior Padawan seminar he was teaching. When he
saw that his Master had started going through his mail
messages, Obi-Wan solicitously brought over a cup of tea and
lingered for a while, idly making small talk as he tried to get
a glimpse of the mail. Getting nothing but a strange look from
his Master for his trouble, he returned to the couch until it
was time to get ready.
Coming out of the shower with a small towel draped low on his
hips, Obi-Wan padded over to the kitchen where his Master was
nibbling on some fruit slices. When Obi-Wan politely asked if
there was anything his Master needed before he went to the
party, Qui-Gon hastily backed out of the enclosed area and
returned to his desk mumbling a polite refusal. The Padawan
went to his room to dress and began carefully leaking tiny
tendrils of suggestive anticipation over the training bond to
reinforce the idea that he would be out all night. Returning to
the common room in kneehigh black boots, tight black leggings
and loose pale blue spidersilk tunic, Obi-Wan stopped by his
Master's desk, casually perching one hip on the edge.
"Are you sure there's nothing else you need, Master?"
"Quite sure. I'll be busy here for a while as I still have some
more changes I want to make for this seminar," Qui-Gon replied,
not taking his eyes off the monitor screen. "Aren't you running
a little late?"
"Well, the starting time was rather flexible, but I guess I
should be getting along. Wouldn't want to miss out on any of
the good stuff," Obi-Wan smiled and winked suggestively,
letting a few more images spill over the bond.
"Uh, yes, of course." Qui-Gon mumbled. "Don't forget that we
promised to help with the initiates beginning lightsaber class
tomorrow afternoon. Good night, and, uh, have a nice time."
"Of course, Master. Good night, Master, don't wait up," Obi-Wan
waved breezily as he headed out the door.
Obi-Wan hurried through the Temple to the quarters where the
friends had agreed to meet before heading out. Along the way he
began running and also adjusting his internal temperature
upward just enough so that by the time he arrived he was
flushed and sweating. Volubly complaining about how queasy he
had been feeling all day, within a half hour he managed to
convince everyone that he was greatly disappointed, but he just
couldn't make it feeling like this, and he headed back across
the Temple towards his own quarters. Obi-Wan then hid in a
maintenance closet down the hall from his quarters and
implemented the next part of his plan. He had been putting
carefully planned leaks across the bond and now he began to
adjust them first to spike as if he was excited about heading
out for the night and then slowly diminishing the leaks as if
he were getting farther away until he cut them off altogether.
Setting his own shields at maximum, Obi-Wan then began a very
slow and cautious Force sweep of his own quarters but could
only feel Qui-Gon's Force signature. He kept the door cracked
to detect anyone who was shielded coming down the hall, then
settled in to wait.
For over an hour nothing happened. Obi-Wan didn't see anyone
enter their quarters nor could he detect any Force signatures
other than Qui- Gon's. He was beginning to think it was going
to be another wasted night when he caught a faint nudge through
the training bond. Although he still had not seen anyone enter
their quarters, it felt the same as the sensation he remembered
from Vental, so he walked down the hall to their door,
carefully rehearsing his story about being ill in case his
quarry was in the common room. Palming the door lock, he
stepped inside, then stood silently looking around the room.
The lights were at half strength but no one was in the room;
even the fresher looked dark and empty through its half closed
door. He could feel only Qui- Gon's Force signature in the
larger bedroom, but there was a small undercurrent of distress
leaking across their bond. Suddenly, there was a crash of a
small object hitting the wall inside the bedroom, followed by
the sound of rapid pacing. Obi-Wan tightened his own shields as
far as he could while still maintaining contact with his
Master, then crept silently across the room until he could peer
through the small opening the slightly open door made. He
stopped, listening with barely drawn breaths, to his Master
arguing ... with himself?
" ... how long are you going to keep up this nonsense, you old
fool?"
"For as long as it takes. I will finish this."
"You've been hiding for almost three years and it's getting
harder all the time. How long do you really think you can you
keep your secret?"
"I am a Jedi. I will do what is necessary for as long as
needed."
"At what cost? You can't stand to be near him but you burn
inside when he leaves you. Tonight you couldn't even begin to
meditate for thinking of what he is doing out there and the
hunger of your flesh cries out to be fed like a ravening wolf."
"There is no passion, there is serenity. I will control this
because I must."
"And if you still believe that, you're a bigger fool than you
realize. It would be so easy to end your pain."
"I have no right."
"He is a kind and compassionate man. All you have to do is ask;
you know he would do anything for you, anything to help you."
"NO! It is because I know he would say yes that I can not, dare
not, say anything. I would rather never see him again than see
pity in his eyes or taste the disgust of duty in his kiss."
"You know he is devoted to you, you have felt it in the Force.
He would come willingly and be happy about it. One word, even a
hint, and you could have him."
"It is wrong. My duty is to protect, to teach, not to harm.
Even if today he believed he came to me willingly, he would
hate me later when he came to understand how I used him. I will
not let my darkness stain his beautiful light."
"Then send him away before you break down and do something you
will both regret."
"I cannot..." he whispered. "Force help me, I cannot..."
Obi-Wan opened the door just enough to see Qui-Gon stop pacing
and fling himself on the bed. He was lying face up, one arm
across his sweating face, his member rigid. They were close
enough that Obi-Wan could feel a wave of need and desire across
their bond and he could see his Master's Force signature
swirling with red-tinged distress.
Suddenly, Qui-Gon reached down to wrap one huge hand around his
turgid phallus. There was no foreplay or innocent pleasure,
only a punishing need as he savagely fisted up and down,
thrusting his hips wildly. Low, incoherent moans filled the air
as he drove himself to a shattering climax, seed spilling
across his trembling belly. Shuddering in the aftermath,
Qui-Gon sprawled across the bed, crying softly, "Obi-Wan, my
beautiful Obi-Wan.."
Stunned into immobility, Obi-Wan could not think or even
breathe for several long moments. He finally mustered enough
strength to move away from the door and lean against the wall
or he would have fallen where he stood. Shaking his head in
disbelief, Obi-Wan was having great difficulty wrapping his
mind around this unexpected revelation. It surely couldn't be
true, could it? But, what if it was true? He had been searching
for a year and had yet to find anyone else that Qui-Gon might
be seeing. And if it was true, it would certainly explain many
of Qui-Gon's actions. Obi-Wan's thoughts were whirling in
disarray and his heart was pounding so hard he was afraid
Qui-Gon would hear it through the wall. He had to know,
just had to. He drew in several slow, deep breaths; he had to
calm himself if he intended to talk to his Master about this.
Looking down, he also realized that he had definitely better
change clothes or this conversation was probably going to go
nowhere fast. The Padawan crept silently across to his own
room, clamping his shields down as hard as he could and hoping
that Qui-Gon was still distracted enough not to have noticed
any lapses.
Having changed into his standard boots, legging and tunics,
Obi-Wan turned up the lights in the common room and loosened
his shields enough to make his presence felt. He strode over to
Qui-Gon's door, took a deep breath, and knocked loudly. Not
hearing anything, he knocked again, then swung the door open
wide.
"Master, there is something important we need to discuss."
Qui-Gon, still lying naked on his bed, snatched at a sheet to
cover himself. "Padawn, you're back early," he said flatly, not
quite looking directly at the young man.
"Yes, Master. I need to speak with you, please."
"Was there a problem at the party?"
"No, Master. I ended up not going out with the party and came
back here. I wish to speak about ... our relationship."
Qui-Gon paled, clutching the sheet a little closer to his
chest. "How ... how long have you been back?
"Long enough. We need to talk, Qui-Gon," Obi-Wan said softly.
A heavy silence stretched between the two men. Finally, Qui-Gon
sighed. "Very well, Padawan. Wait in the common room."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan bowed and went to sit at one end of the
couch.
Ten minutes passed before Qui-Gon finally came out, fully
dressed, and sat down in the lone chair. He looked at his
apprentice for a moment, then said quietly, "What is it you
wish to discuss, Padawan?"
Obi-Wan looked squarely across, took a deep breath, and began.
"Master, please understand that everything I have done, and
everything I am about to say, is because I love you. You have
been the best Master anyone could ask for and I appreciate all
that you have done for me. But when you hurt, it hurts me, and
I have been aware for a while now that all is not well with
you."
"What are you talking about, Padawan," Qui-Gon interrupted.
"I have a confession to make, Master," Obi-Wan replied,
flushing slightly. "About a year ago, on the mission to Vental,
you remember that party the last night?"
Qui-Gon nodded.
"Well, I went back to our room early, and, uh, well, I heard
you in the bathroom. I thought perhaps something was wrong,
that you might be ill, especially when I found that the door
was locked, and, as that was so unlike you, I unlocked the door
and I saw you ... pleasuring yourself. I'm sorry, but it was so
unexpected and I just couldn't seem to tear myself away. I
would be lying if I said I wasn't ... aroused by what I saw but
I was also very disturbed. I spent the rest of that night
meditating; after a very great deal of thought I finally came
to the conclusion that you must have had someone special in
mind and it didn't seem like a very happy relationship. During
this last year I have been working very hard so you wouldn't
have to worry about shortcomings on my part, and, well, maybe
it wasn't really any of my business, but you seemed to be
getting more distant and more unhappy, so I sort of took it on
myself to find out who was responsible and, I don't know, I
guess I thought I was going to knock some sense into them. I
could never find out who it was, so tonight I made another
attempt. The party was just an excuse to make you think I was
gone, I came back early and ... I ... I heard everything that
happened in your room a little while ago."
Obi-Wan paused, then swiftly rose and went to kneel in front of
Qui- Gon, reaching up to gently clasp his hands. "If it was me
that you wanted all this time, I swear to you, Master, I had no
idea, and I am very sorry for any of my actions that have
caused you pain. I love you, Master, and if there is anything I
can do for you, anything at all, you have but to name it and
you know that I will do it gladly. Please, tell me what I can
do or give you to help you."
Qui-Gon sat absolutely still, eyes startlingly blue in a face
gone dead white. "Padawan..." he whispered, "my Obi-Wan." After
a long moment, he tore his hands away and began pacing.
"You don't understand, my Padawan. I can not possibly ask this
of you, it is both wrong and forbidden." He held up his hand to
silence the apprentice's protest. "Please hear me out." Qui-Gon
continued to pace silently for a few moments as if gathering
his thoughts.
"Nine years ago, I was a lonely and embittered man. I had sworn
that I would never let anyone get close enough to hurt me ever
again. I would do my duty as a Jedi but I was adamant that I
would also never take another Padawan. I fought very hard
against taking you as my apprentice, Obi-Wan, even though the
Force was telling me it was the right thing to do. For the pain
that I caused you then, I am so sorry, and I have repented my
actions a thousand times over, for you have turned out to be
the best Padawan anyone could ever ask for. You are truly a
beautiful young man, strong in the Force that shines from
within you, and will be a great Jedi Knight. I have tried to be
a good Master to you, to teach you and care for you. I know I'm
not perfect, far from it, but until the last few years I had
hoped I was doing at least an adequate job, for I could see the
wonderful person you were becoming despite my shortcomings."
Qui-Gon paused in his pacing to gaze somberly at the young man
still kneeling silently.
"Obi-Wan, I have always loved you as a father, as a teacher,
and as a friend." He looked down at the floor, closed his eyes,
then drew a deep breath and began pacing again. "I have always
tried to encourage you to develop as your own person, as your
own man, but it was only in the last few years that I finally
realized that you really had grown up and I began to see you as
others do, that you have become an incredible young man, a
beautiful, sexy, very desirable young man. I will not lie to
you; I have to tell you that I have to come to desire you, to
love you, as one man does another. I know I can't have you and
it is wrong to even think of it, but this lust has infected me
for three years now; it is my personal failure and I have tried
to not let it affect your training. If I have failed in this
attempt, I am sorry, my Padawan." Qui-Gon sat down at the end
of the couch and buried his face in his hands.
"Master, you have not failed me, for so many years you have
given me so much, taught me so much, I know I could never have
become what I am today without you. I have come to know and
love the man that few others know; I understand it's not been
your way to show it but I do know how deeply you care for me. I
care just as deeply for you, my Master, and it hurts me very
much to see you in pain. On Vental I first began to see
you as a man, a very desirable man; I have seriously
considered what it would be like to make love to you. I have
also looked at what the Code actually says; Master-Padawan
relationships are not totally forbidden, it is possible
to get permission from the Council in special cases. You know
we already have an exceptionally deep bond; when I am with you
in the Force it is the most incredible feeling in the galaxy,
and it could surely only be good to make our relationship even
more complete. I'm not a child, I understand what I am
offering, and I want to do it. Please, Master, let me help you,
let me give back to you some small measure of all that you have
done for me."
Qui-Gon slowly raised his head to gaze at his apprentice,
leaving his hands tightly clasped together. "You don't know
just how tempting your offer is," he said softly, then
sighed. "But you still don't fully understand, my Padawan. If
you have looked at the Code, then you also know that the waiver
is almost never granted. It is for the benefit and protection
of both Master and Padawan that this rule exists. The
Master-Padawan relationship is inherently unequal and the
potential for abuse, even unintentionally, is tremendous. On
the Padawan's part there is the ingrained requirement to obey
and a desire to please the Master; on the Master's part is the
temptation to take what is offered and more besides. You have
also not considered the part played by the training bond and
how much it colors your feelings; it is intended specifically
to draw the Master and Padawan close together to facilitate the
ability to train. Our bond is deeper than most and has given us
the ability to connect very closely in the Force, but there is
no guarantee that any part of that bond or closeness will
survive your knighting. In fact, the bond is usually completely
terminated and, at best, Master and former Padawan may remain
good friends. All of which brings me to another point." Qui-Gon
paused, then hung his head to stare at the floor before
continuing. "Obi-Wan, I have to tell you that there are still
some things you don't know about me. What I feel for you, the
need that fills my dreams, could very easily overwhelm me if I
were to take what you think you are offering. Love can be a
beautiful thing but lust can quickly turn ugly and is a very
jealous god. If once we started, I don't think I could stand to
share you with others, and I know I won't be able to stop
without breaking down. And I would always have doubts, not
knowing for certain if you truly wanted a jealous old man for
your lover or if it was the bond or a sense of duty leading you
to my bed. I am even more afraid of the things that I would be
tempted to do or say to bind you to me, even to the point of
trying to hold you back from reaching your knighthood so our
bond would not be dissolved."
Qui-Gon lifted his head, then slid down from the couch to kneel
opposite his apprentice and look into his eyes. "Obi-Wan
Kenobi, it has been my privilege and my joy to be your Master,
and as your Master, it is my duty to help you become the best
Jedi Knight that you can be. I can not, I will not, do
anything which might interfere with that duty. You are too
young to fully understand and commit to the kind of
relationship this could turn into and I am afraid of the harm I
would almost certainly do to you if I allowed this to happen.
You are a wonderful Padawan and a good man; I truly appreciate
your offer, but as long as you are my Padawan, it simply can't
be. I am a Jedi Master, I will find the strength to do the
right thing and see that you are knighted. Once you become a
Knight, if you should ever truly return these feelings, I would
welcome another discussion of these matters, but until then I
believe it would be better for both of us if we speak no more
of this."
"Master, it could be years before I take my Trials. Surely
there must be some way ..."
Qui-Gon interrupted, "Please, don't. I appreciate what you are
trying to do, and I love you all the more for your generous
spirit, but it simply can not be."
"I'm not sure I entirely understand or agree with all of your
reasons, Master, but I will obey your will in this matter, at
least for now. But is there nothing at all I can do to help?"
"Well, I think the best thing is to continue to work toward
your Knighthood and maintain a professional relationship,"
Qui-Gon replied. Barking a short laugh, he gave a half-smile
and went on, "It would truly be a kindness, though, if you
wouldn't mind wearing a little more than that tiny towel when
you get out of the shower."
During the next two years, Master and Padawan worked hard to
advance the apprentice's skills. By unspoken agreement, they
slowly developed a new set of rules for their personal
relationship. Obi-Wan adopted his Master's reticence about
personal appearance and refrained from wandering about their
quarters in various states of undress. They both refrained from
physical contact with each other although Qui-Gon began making
special efforts to let his Padawan know when he was pleased
with the young man's achievements and progress. They still
meditated together and, if anything, spent even more time
working on katas and sparring, both men finding that the extra
physical effort and connection in the Force enabled them to
achieve a certain measure of serenity and contentment. On the
numerous missions with limited accommodations, Qui-Gon even let
Obi-Wan rotate with him so they took turns sleeping on the
floor.
Obi-Wan took particular care to minimize any references to his
own sexual activities. He dressed more conservatively and tried
to keep a lower profile at functions. With the heavy workload
both men had undertaken, Obi-Wan found that he had less and
less time to socialize and had also developed quite a
sensitivity to his Master's presence; this tended to limit his
liaisons more and more to those occasions when either he or
Qui-Gon were separated due to mission or academic requirements.
Although he missed the physical contact comfort, he had
developed several meditation routines to help and resorted to
the occasional self-pleasuring to relieve the physical
frustration. One thing he could not entirely avoid, however,
was the attention he still attracted on missions and at
official functions; he knew the pain it caused his Master and
tried to very discreetly let his Master have extra time for
meditation or other necessary activities on those occasions.
Given his previous high level of visibility, though, it was
inevitable that at some point his new inactivity would be
noted; in fact, it came to a head about a year after their
confrontation when they both attended the annual party given at
the Temple to honor those reaching adulthood.
Qui-Gon left the party relatively early to retire to his
quarters and read. He was surprised to see his apprentice come
in less than a half hour later and head for the kitchen.
"Padawan," he called.
"Yes, Master?"
"Would you please come here a moment?"
Obi-Wan brought the fruit juice he had retrieved and flopped
down on the couch.
"Yes, Master, what can I do for you?"
"I was just wondering ... we don't get too many opportunities
like tonight for you to see your friends and you're back rather
early. Is anything wrong?"
Obi-Wan smiled and took a drink of juice. "It was a very nice
party and I enjoyed myself. I danced a lot, got to see several
friends, even the food was good tonight. I just felt it was an
appropriate time to leave."
Qui-Gon hesitated, "Uh, Obi-Wan ... I ... overheard several
people talking tonight. It appeared they were concerned about
you, and, uh, well, that you weren't, you know, seeing anyone
..." he trailed off uncertainly.
"Master," Obi-Wan said gently, "are you trying to say they were
gossiping because they think I'm no longer out screwing half
the Temple?"
The older man flushed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, then
said faintly, "well, something like that..."
The apprentice shrugged. "It happens to be true. It's my
business who I choose to sleep or not sleep with and it doesn't
particularly bother me what other people might think of those
choices."
"Obi-Wan, if this is because of me, please don't. It's none of
my business what you do privately and it was never my intention
that I cause you to have to enjoy your life less because of any
shortcomings on my part. I appreciate what you are trying to
do, but you don't have to do this."
The Padawan sat up straight and looked across into his Master's
eyes. "Master Jinn, for quite some time now you have strongly
encouraged me to act as an adult and make my own decisions as
an adult. Well, I have done so and I'm going to tell you about
those decisions. First, it is my choice as to my level
of sexual activity and if I choose to reduce that level or even
stop altogether, then, as you just pointed out, it's none of
your business, particularly since it is not having any effect
on my level of performance in other areas. Second, even though
I don't totally agree with them, I accepted your reasons for
not allowing us to have a physical relationship. That doesn't
mean I care for you any less; therefore, if I can't help you, I
will at least try not to do anything to hurt you. Third, I have
decided it really irritates the hell out of me every time you
refer to your feelings for me like you have some kind of
terrible disease or mental defect. If I'm such a horrible evil
monster that loving me is insane, then send me away, otherwise
please accept the fact that your feelings are normal and I
don't object to them. Now, if you are the man I believe you to
be, you will honor my decisions and we will not need to speak
of this again. It is up to you, Master."
"Oh," Qui-Gon said, appearing rather taken aback. He paused as
if gathering his thoughts, then drew a deep breath. "You are
correct, Padawan. You are certainly old enough to be
responsible for those kinds of decisions and I apologize for
any interference. Please believe me when I say I spoke only
because I was concerned about you."
"I understand, Master. You don't need to apologize for caring."
Looking over the obstinate set of the young man's face, Qui-Gon
smiled and continued. "You know, I'm beginning to strongly
suspect that, even if I gave you a direct order to forget about
me and go out and have sex, you aren't going to pay much
attention to whatever I may have to say in this matter, are
you?"
"No, Master."
"Well, that's that, then. I'm going to turn in. Good night,
Padawan."
Obi-Wan stood and bowed. "Good night, Master."
Qui-Gon walked toward his bedroom, then stood for a moment,
hand on the doorknob. Straightening his shoulders, he turned
around and looked at the apprentice still standing in the
middle of the room. "You are a good man, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I love
you." Then he disappeared into his room.
During this time, the Padawan continued to meditate to try to
achieve a clearer understanding of how he felt toward his
Master and what their future relationship might be. He had
carefully considered several factors. Obi-Wan had concluded
that the physical aspects would be not just acceptable but very
desirable. Although Qui-Gon insisted on calling himself old,
Obi-Wan saw a man in the prime of life, strong and vigorous,
who still attracted attention and offers almost everywhere he
went. With his Jedi abilities and healthy lifestyle, it was far
more likely that he would be killed on a mission before his
physical skills declined significantly. Obi-Wan was a little
concerned with his Master's contention that Qui-Gon would be a
jealous and possessive lover, but felt that if he was going to
make a commitment to this man, it would be total and they could
work through any such feelings either of them had. Emotionally,
he felt they had enough similarities to be comfortable and
enough differences to keep life interesting. The man could be
stubborn and exasperating and certainly had a unique
perspective on the Code but this was more than offset by deep
kindness and generosity. And of course there was one aspect of
their current relationship that was almost universally noted;
this was a team that worked well together and got things done.
They had good complementary skills and Obi-Wan enjoyed their
close teamwork and the feeling of satisfaction from
accomplishing what few others could. Qui-Gon had been treating
his apprentice more and more as an equal these last few years
and Obi-Wan eagerly anticipated continuing to work with
Qui-Gon, whether on missions, sparring, teaching or whatever
else the Council needed.
There was one thing, though, that greatly troubled the young
man. One of the greatest joys of his life was his bond with his
Master and his connection with him in the Force. He thought
often of Qui-Gon's comment that the training bond did not
survive a Padawan's Knighting. Extensive research on the nature
of the bond caused him even more concern; he found that not
only was the bond terminated but while in place it usually had
a great influence on the feelings between Master and Padawan.
After Knighting, most pairs not only lost their direct link but
the degree of affection and closeness usually significantly
decreased, leaving both members of the pair free to form new
relationships. If it had been a good relationship the two
usually maintained the closeness appropriate for a teacher and
favorite student or a parent and child but seldom anything
more. The more he learned, the more Obi-Wan began to question
his own conclusions about the nature of his relationship with
his Master and where he wanted to go with that relationship in
the future. If the depth of his current feelings was mostly the
result of the training bond and might vanish later, why bother
trying to figure out something he couldn't control? And worse
yet, what if he still felt attracted to Qui-Gon but his
Master's feelings toward him changed? His uncertainties finally
drove him to seek an appointment with Master Yoda.
Obi-Wan walked through the Meditation Garden toward the stone
bench where the small Jedi Master was sitting with eyes closed
and chin resting on hands clasped atop his gimmer stick. The
young man waited patiently in the warm afternoon sun until Yoda
opened his eyes and acknowledged his presence.
"Padawan Kenobi, a question you have?"
Obi-Wan bowed, then folded himself gracefully to sit in the
grass at the Master's feet. "Master Yoda, I have been trying to
understand the nature of the training bond and the effect it
has on the feelings of a Master and Padawan for each other. Is
it true that the training bond makes them like each other?"
"Affection the training bond itself does not really create.
Attraction, desire to please, desire to protect, ability to
communicate, does the bond enhance, more for some, less for
others."
"But if a Master and Padawan do like each other a lot, how much
of that goes away when the Padawan is Knighted?"
"Difficult question, that is. True it is, that most become much
less close after the bond is broken. I think, though, that
concern you have is for Master Jinn, not others, yes?"
"Well, for both of us, I guess. I care for my Master very much.
He is a great man and a great Jedi."
Yoda's ears perked up, "Agree with that many on the Council
would not, you know."
"They don't know him like I do. I may not always agree with
everything he does but he only tries to do good for others.
Qui-Gon is a very kind and generous man, just a bit ...
unconventional," the young man vehemently replied.
"Peace, young Padawan," Yoda replied with a smile. "Tell the
other Council members you will not, but agree with you I do,
and good for stirring up stodgy Council the man is. My Padawan
your master was, and well known to me his good heart is."
"I know. My apologies, Master Yoda, I didn't mean to be
disrespectful."
"From the heart you speak, no offense did I take. But concerned
you are about what will be in two hearts after your Knighting."
"Yes, Master. We have a wonderful relationship now, what I feel
for him in the Force is like nothing I have felt with anyone
else. I know everyone says that our bond is deeper than most
but I don't understand if that means that it just makes our
real feelings deeper or caused them. I'd really like to be with
Qui-Gon after I'm knighted but I'm confused about how we are
going to feel about each other."
"Hmm ... know you about your Master's feelings for you?"
Obi-Wan blushed a little. "We have talked about that. His
feelings go beyond that of Master for Padawan, but he refuses a
physical relationship. He doesn't even really like to talk
about it and told me I have to wait until after I'm Knighted."
"A very private man is Qui-Gon Jinn, hard is it for him to
speak of such personal things. Reasons he has for guarding his
heart; much pain has he suffered in the past."
"I've heard some of the stories about his last apprentice,
Xanatos, but my Master never speaks of what happened."
"Surprising that is not, but more than Xanatos binds his heart.
A young Knight was Qui-Gon when first he loved. Three years
they had until on a mission she was killed while Qui-Gon was on
Coruscant. Then came Xanatos a few years later. Much affection
Qui-Gon had for his second apprentice and long blamed himself
for letting his feelings blind him to Xanatos' true nature,
blamed himself for Xanatos' turning even though it was none of
his doing. Swore he did that never again would he give himself
to another."
Obi-Wan thoughtfully twisted a blade of grass between his
fingers. "I knew he didn't want another Padawan but I didn't
really understand why. No wonder we had so many problems that
first year." He paused, then looked up at Yoda. "But he says
that he loves me, and I have felt through our bond that it is
true. What will happen to him if I don't feel the same way
after I'm Knighted?"
"Hard to say it is. When allows himself to feel he does, your
Master's feelings run very deep indeed. Strong feelings for you
I believe Qui- Gon will still have, but pursue you or risk
hurting either of you he will not, far too proud and stubborn
that man is. Your own feelings you will have to learn. After
Knighting, time you will have to explore those feelings. If
desire for your Master you still have, convince him you will
have to work hard to do, Padawan."
Obi-Wan stood up and bowed. "I think I understand, Master Yoda.
I guess I will just to wait, then. Thank you for your time."
For two weeks the team of Jinn and Kenobi had worked nonstop to
help evacuate people from the flood-ravaged northern continent
of Gevnok. They had been called in on their way back from
finishing another month-long mission on nearby Julstin since
they were the closest Jedi. The two men had split up to better
assist the Republic rescue teams, then rejoined on the ship
carrying the most badly injured people back to Coruscant for
advanced medical care. Unfortunately the only large ship
immediately available had been an old freighter, so both men
were kept busy on the entire trip helping the medical team care
for their patients in the inadequate facilities. By the time
they got back to the Temple, both men were dirty, cold, hungry
and dead-tired.
Entering their quarters, the two Jedi flopped down on the couch
and just sat for several minutes, enjoying the feeling of being
home again.
"You know, Master, I can't decide if I'm too tired to eat or
too hungry to sleep."
"Well, at least it's warm. Between the constant mud and the
malfunctioning heaters on that ship, I felt like my feet were
never going to be warm again," Qui-Gon ruefully replied. "Why
don't you go ahead and take a shower first? I want to finish
putting together the mission report before the Council starts
calling."
"I can do that, Master, while you shower. I'm sorry, I should
have done that on the ship coming back."
Qui-Gon smiled fondly, "You know very well neither of us had
time, Padawan. I'm too tired to sleep right now so I'll finish
it." He held up his hand as Obi-Wan started to protest. "Go and
shower. You've still got mud all over you and it's getting
rather fragrant."
"Yes, Master. At least let me get you something to eat first."
"A cup of tea would be a kindness. Thank you."
Qui-Gon moved over to the desk and punched up the incomplete
report while his apprentice rustled up a quick meal of tea,
bread, cheese and fruit for both of them. The Master chewed
rather absentmindedly as he doggedly plowed through the
creation of the rest of the mission findings.
Obi-Wan ate quickly, then went to his room and stripped off his
dirty clothing. He grimaced as he noted the mud-encrusted state
of his boots; that was going to be a nasty job getting his and
Master's boots properly cleaned. Shrugging his way into a light
sleep robe the young man headed for the fresher where he
started the stream of water flowing as he dropped the robe.
Entering the shower, he braced his arms against the smooth tile
and for several minutes simply stood, letting the hot water
soothe him as it washed the dirt and grit from his body.
Finally stirring himself, he first lathered his hair, then
began slowly soaping his body, letting himself enjoy the simple
pleasure of becoming clean again. Obi-Wan had rinsed off and
was washing his hair one more time to get the last of the grit
out when he felt a sharp spike of emotion over the bond with
his Master. It was smothered so quickly he couldn't quite tell
what it was but it didn't feel good. He rapidly rinsed the last
of the soap away, then, grabbing a couple of towels to wrap
around himself, went out to the common room.
Qui-Gon Jinn sat motionless in front of the computer terminal,
head buried in his hands. Obi-Wan hesitantly approached, but
his Master did not acknowledge his presence for several
minutes.
The older man finally raised his head, "Padawan, please get
dressed. There is something we need to discuss."
Obi-Wan went to his room and quickly threw on clean leggings
and tunics, then returned to the common room and sat on the
edge of the couch. He waited silently for his Master to speak.
Qui-Gon had moved to the large chair across from the couch,
sitting with shoulders slumped, staring down at the hands
clenched together in front of him.
Blue eyes were raised to meet grey as the Master finally spoke.
"Padawan, I owe you an apology. I should have spoken to you
earlier and let you know. It's just that I didn't expect this
to happen quite this soon." Qui-Gon stopped, a hitch in his
breath, and seemed unable to continue.
"Please, Master, tell me what is wrong. Whatever it is, we will
see it through together."
Qui-Gon swallowed hard before he continued. "Not this time, my
Padawan. Shortly before we left Julstin I sent your annual
performance report to the Council. Yoda was quite persistent
about certain questions, and I had to tell him the truth. I put
in my recommendation that you are ready to take your Trials. I
meant to discuss it with you but we got diverted to help those
flood victims. I'm sorry to have to spring this on you so
unexpectedly, but when I was going through my messages I found
the notification from the Council. It seems that not only do
they agree with my recommendation, but they have several other
candidates who are also ready. They want all of you to go
through your Trials during the next few weeks so you will need
to begin preparing immediately."
Obi-Wan sat stunned as the bread and cheese he had gobbled
earlier turned into a lead weight in his gut. Trials? Now?
There had to be a mistake. His thoughts were spinning
frantically as a wail of distress went over the bond.
"Master, I don't feel at all ready, I'm too young, there is so
much more to learn, I, I can't do this, not yet, not now."
Qui-Gon strode to his apprentice, put a hand on each shoulder,
and pulled him up to his full height. "Padawan," he said in his
sternest command voice. "You are babbling. Stop it and listen
to me."
Obi-Wan subsided but could not totally stop the tiny tremors
that shook his body as his Master held him firmly in place.
"Padawan, I would not have told the Council you are ready if I
did not truly believe it. You have worked very hard for several
years to get to this point. You finished all of the mandatory
academic work almost a year ago, your combat skills are
excellent, you've been on more missions than any four other
Padawans put together. You have earned the right to take
your Trials now," he said fiercely. "I am very proud of what
you have accomplished, my Padawan. I believe in you and I know
that you will pass."
"I am honored that you believe in me, Master, but truly I don't
feel ready. I'm only twenty-three, there are Padawans who are
years older than me who haven't taken their trials yet, and I
don't feel like I could even begin to handle missions like you
do, Master," Obi-Wan replied shakily.
"Padawan, I know it's hard," Qui-Gon replied gently. "I didn't
feel at all ready for my Trials either but I passed just as I
know you will. You must not judge yourself against others,
certainly not against me. If you are truly honest with
yourself, the Force will tell you that you are ready.
Remember, my Padawan, taking your Trials does not mean that you
have learned everything you can or even need to learn. When you
become a Knight you will still continue to learn and grow for
the rest of your life. But it is time now to move from one
phase of your life to another. That is what the Trials are for,
to establish that you are ready to make that move."
Obi-Wan stood quietly at last, his throat tight, taking comfort
from the firm touch of his Master's hands on his shoulders and
the reassurance flowing over their bond. He took a deep breath,
then looked up into the deep blue eyes gazing down at him.
"Master, I will take the Trials and make you proud of me. It's
just ..." the apprentice's throat tightened even more as he
raised one hand to Qui- Gon's chest. "I don't want to leave
you, Master," he finally choked out as a tear slid down his
cheek.
Qui-Gon engulfed his apprentice in the hug he had denied them
both for so long, holding the young man tight to his chest.
"Obi-Wan, my Obi- Wan, I know, I had hoped to have you for at
least a little longer but I cannot be that selfish. I will miss
you so much," he whispered as tears ran down his weathered
cheeks. Obi-Wan returned the embrace desperately as both men
stood in silence for several minutes.
Finally, Qui-Gon pushed Obi-Wan away and held him at arm's
length for a moment before taking a deep breath and dropping
his hands. "We both have duties to perform, Padawan. I will
notify the Council that we have returned and find out when you
have to report to the Trials Master for your preparation." He
smiled briefly. "Right now, I want you to get some rest.
Trials or no Trials, I'm not going to let them drag you away
the same day we get back from six weeks without a break."
Obi-Wan started to protest then realized from experience he
wasn't going to get anywhere. Smiling in return, he said
softly, "Yes, Master," then went to his room to try to sleep.
The next few weeks passed in a whirl of activity. Only two days
after they came back to Coruscant, Obi-Wan had to report to the
Trials Master, a dour blueskinned humanoid named Master Wivern,
with the other four candidates. They were taken to a secluded
part of the Temple where each was assigned a small cubicle off
a common room; they would occupy this area until the Trials
were completed. During that time they were not allowed to speak
to anyone other than their fellow candidates and those running
the Trials; in particular they were forbidden to contact their
Masters, even over their training bond. The first four days
they spent mostly in meditation, leaving their rooms only for
meals, exercise and light sparring sessions, and briefings by
the Trials Master on what would happen during the Trials. The
next five days were an intensive series of tests, mental and
physical, ranging from examinations of academic proficiency,
sparring against the Sword Master, to simulated missions, and
ending on the last day with an extensive discussion with the
entire Council on the meaning of Jedi philosophy and why the
candidate wanted to be a Jedi Knight. The candidates were
allowed only a few hours of sleep and one meal a day; by the
time he received the afternoon summons for the final Council
discussion Obi-Wan was already very tired. Standing outside the
door waiting to go in, Obi-Wan was grateful that he had had the
experience of having been on so many difficult missions where
he and his Master had arrived back on Coruscant dead tired,
only to be summoned immediately to the Council for a
debriefing. Thinking of his Master, Obi-Wan's throat tightened
momentarily before he fiercely reminded himself to focus on the
moment; he knelt to meditate and regain his center in the
Force. He had a premonition he was going to need all the
serenity he could gather to make it through this last session.
Unfortunately, this premonition proved all too true; for four
hours he stood in front of the assembled Council as they
grilled him, skewered him, twisted his words, prodded, probed
and generally tried to turn him inside out. Although all of the
Council members stayed tightly shielded to prevent him from
feeling their reactions to his answers, he could tell from past
experience and the sharpness of their questions which of the
Councilors were seeking to find if he had been `contaminated'
by Qui-Gon Jinn's rebellious attitudes and heresies. It
sometimes took all of the concentration and willpower the
Padawan could muster to reply calmly to some of the more
outrageous questions instead of launching into a defense of his
Master. At long last, however, it was over and he was released
to be escorted back to his cubicle. Joining the other
candidates for a late supper, he found that he had been the
last one to go before the Council and had spent the most time
there. It was a very subdued meal; not only was everyone
exhausted, but they all realized that their portion of the
Trial was now over. >From this point there was nothing else
they could do to influence the outcome and they could only wait
for the results to be determined. The next day the candidates
were allowed to sleep in; their time was free although they
were still sequestered in their small part of the Temple. On
this day each candidate's Master was summoned before the
Council where he was allowed to review the results of the
Trial. The Master was then given an hour to discuss the results
with the Council and to make his final arguments on behalf of
his Padawan. After all of the Masters had been given their
opportunity to speak, the Council retired to make their final
decisions.
After the evening meal, most of which had been left unconsumed
by the nervous group of Padawans, Master Wivern gathered up his
charges and escorted them to the Council antechamber. There the
Padawans were reunited with their Masters to await the
Council's pronouncement. From his position by the door, the
Trials Master sternly reminded everyone there was to be no
talking so most pairs contented themselves with a quick hug or
a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. Qui-Gon smiled at his
Padawan as they seated themselves to wait their turn.
The first pair to be summoned were two felinoids, an old Master
with grizzled gray fur and a young tawny female. Obi-Wan felt a
surge of sympathy when they were called in; the Padawan had
been having a difficult time during the Trials and had been
very depressed all day. When they came out ten minutes later
the Master had his arm tightly around the weeping Padawan. With
shoulders slumped and tail dragging, she refused to look at
anyone as they quickly left the antechamber. The temperature in
the room seemed to drop several degrees as the Padawans
covertly glanced at each other. The next pair to be summoned, a
greenskinned reptilian Master and ornithoid male Padawan with a
black crest, walked slowly toward the door, pausing to pay the
customary respect to the Trials Master. The result was much
different when this pair came out, however; from the Padawan's
jaunty walk and raised crest it was evident the outcome was
favorable. The next two pairs were summoned and released in
turn, also with favorable results; now only one pair remained
sitting in the antechamber.
After what seemed an eternity, the door finally opened to admit
the last pair. By this time Obi-Wan's stomach felt as if a
flock of overactive flickinger birds had taken permanent
residence and he was certain the whole temple could hear his
heart pounding. Qui-Gon smiled and patted the young man's
shoulder. They rose and walked quietly toward the entrance,
pausing by the Trials Master.
"Master Jinn, Padawan Kenobi, it has been my pleasure to
serve."
The pair bowed.
"We thank you for your service, Master Wyvern," Qui-Gon replied
on behalf of himself and his Padawan.
They advanced to the center of the Council chamber, standing
side by side facing Master Yoda and Master Windu.
Master Windu stood to address the expectant pair.
"Master Qui-Gon Jinn, you have presented your Padawan learner
to the Council of the Jedi Order as a candidate for the rank of
Jedi Knight. In accordance with the Code and traditions of the
Jedi Order, the Council has tested Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi to
determine his fitness to serve as a Jedi Knight. Padawan Kenobi
has undertaken the necessary Trials to demonstrate his physical
and mental abilities; the Council has given due consideration
to both Padawan Kenobi's record of achievement prior to his
Trials and the results of the Trials. Before the final
judgement of the Council is rendered, is there anyone present
who has additional evidence or objections to be considered?"
There was a muttered grumbling from somewhere behind Obi-Wan
which was quickly quelled by a glare from the diminutive Yoda.
The apprentice felt a brief burst of amusement across the bond.
// I suspect my problems with the Council cost you at least one
vote // the Master sent apologetically. Obi-Wan was too nervous
to trust himself to reply without doing something undignified
like giggling.
Master Windu gazed around the room at each Council member, as
if daring anyone else to interrupt the proceeding. Satisfied
with the silence, he continued.
"Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Council of the Jedi Order hereby
declares that you are accepted for the rank of Jedi Knight. You
are directed to attend the Knighting ceremony two days hence.
Master Yoda has requested the honor of representing the Council
at your ceremony; is this acceptable to you?"
Obi-Wan was so overwhelmed with relief that it was finally
official that he didn't realize that everyone was waiting for
him to respond. Finally, Qui-Gon sent him a sharp mental nudge
and Obi-Wan collected himself. Not entirely certain what the
question was, he decided "Yes, Master" was always an acceptable
answer and bowed. He felt another small ripple of amusement
over the bond.
One corner of Master Windu's mouth threatened to tug upward as
he continued. "Very well, Padawan Kenobi. You will be notified
tomorrow morning of your new quarters assignment. You and your
Master will also be given an appointment with one of the soul
healers; they will explain how the training bond will be
dissolved and the likely aftereffects. Congratulations, Padawan
Kenobi, Master Jinn. I look forward to your ceremony."
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan bowed, thanked Master Windu and the
Council, then made their escape. As soon as they were clear of
the antechamber, Obi-Wan could feel the huge grin that
plastered itself across his face but he no longer cared who saw
it as they made their through the Temple to their quarters.
Three days later a dazed Knight Kenobi found himself sitting
alone in the cramped quarters of a small Republic diplomatic
corvette, speeding on his way to the distant planet Nurisman to
represent the Jedi at a wedding intended to unite two key
warring families. Much of those three days was a hazy blur of
packing, drawing new clothes, moving, appointments, parties,
briefings and a long stream of well-wishers at both his old and
new quarters. Only a few events stood out with crystal clarity.
On their last evening as Master and Padawan, Qui-Gon had forced
him to stop bustling around, shooed everyone else away, and
firmly marched him out to a quiet corner of an older, seldom
used water garden. In the light of the setting sun, with the
quiet music of a small waterfall as background music, they sat
silently on the grass and meditated together for an hour,
letting the Force flow through them and take them where it
would. The next day was the Knighting ceremony itself. The
afternoon sun pouring in through the huge windows drenched the
Council chamber in glistening gold as Obi-Wan, resplendent in
his formal whites, knelt before Master Yoda to receive the
official pronouncement and blessing of the Council. Standing
next to him, his Master then cut off the braid and presented it
to him before joining Master Yoda as, working together, they
gently unraveled the strands of the training bond that had
joined Master and Padawan for so many years. This last morning,
with only an hour before he had to catch his ship, he had found
out that Qui-Gon was also being dispatched on a mission of his
own. Rushing over to the departure area, he had caught his
former Master at the foot of the boarding ramp and awkwardly
presented to him a small velvet bag containing the newly cut
braid. With a mumbled "I just wanted you to have this," he had
turned to go when Qui-Gon grabbed his arm, pressed a light kiss
to his lips, then turned and practically ran up the ramp.
And now the young man sat on a bunk in a space ship, headed out
once more to do the Council and Republic's bidding, just as he
had done so many times before. But this time was different; he
was a brand new Knight of the Jedi Order on his very first
mission. He thought he was supposed to feel proud and excited,
but all he really felt was miserable and lonely. Both Master
Yoda and the soul healer had explained that new Knights were
immediately given assignments to provide an opportunity to
establish themselves and to help them adjust to working alone
without the training bond. Unfortunately, not all of the
briefings, readings or advice had been able to fully prepare
him for the incredible feeling of emptiness in his head when he
woke up in his new quarters that morning. The place in his mind
where the bond with his Master had been was now a blank void;
he couldn't feel, or hear, or see anything there and he
had almost panicked when he first woke. Finally calming enough
to meditate, he realized that the Force was still there and he
was able to release some of his anxiety. Since then he had been
too busy to have time to think, but now he had five days ahead
of him, trapped on a tiny ship with not much to do but work and
think. What he was thinking about, though, was how much he
missed his Master.
Knight Kenobi was a conscientious young man and understood all
too well that duty came before personal problems. Therefore he
spent a great deal of time reviewing the mission briefings and
all of the other available information he could find about the
situation on Nurisman, a new member of the Republic. His first
impression of the mission had been that it was a routine matter
of providing a Jedi witness to yet another political wedding;
further research showed him the situation was not as stable as
he had thought so he would have to pay attention to ensure that
none of the dissident elements disrupted things. He made
careful notes on the key players, practiced the local ritual
greetings, reviewed local customs and familiarized himself with
the local geography.
After doing his mission work and the light exercises that were
all that were possible in the limited space, Obi-Wan found that
he still had a lot of time left over to meditate and think. He
couldn't keep himself from picking at the missing bond like a
sore tooth; there were times it almost felt like an amputated
limb that was still trying to send him signals. The bond had
provided a great deal of emotional support and enhanced his
ability to join with his Master in the Force but these things
were gone now. Obi-Wan could now see where the training bond
was responsible for much of his attraction to Master Jinn, but
with the bond severed, on a very fundamental level he was also
beginning to realize that he still wanted Qui-Gon Jinn the man,
needed him, hungered for him. He was lying on his bunk one
night when he suddenly started laughing aloud, remembering the
analytical Padawan who had so carefully lined up the pros and
cons for a relationship with his Master, laying out his facts
and feelings almost like a mathematical formula. None of that
mattered any more, he simply knew in his heart that one
man had the power to complete his soul and he wanted that man.
Finally determining his feelings toward his former Master gave
Obi-Wan a certain measure of peace. Unfortunately, he was no
longer sure how the man felt toward him, and that became a
topic that occupied much of his thoughts the rest of the trip.
Qui-Gon had been so very careful these last few years to
maintain a proper Master-Padawan relationship and had kept his
feelings well-hidden. Obi-Wan was certain his Master's love had
been sincere at the time, but he was uncertain what the
severing of the training bond might have done to change those
feelings. Given Qui-Gon's proud and reserved nature as well as
his past hurts, the new Knight was sure that the Master would
never openly pursue him, but that one fleeting kiss on
Coruscant gave him hope that perhaps, just perhaps, the Master
could be captured. When he got back to Coruscant, he would
begin applying his hard-won skills to this personal mission.
Six weeks later, a triumphant if slightly battered Knight
disembarked from a tiny red diplomatic corvette and returned to
the new quarters he had previously occupied for just one night
only to find a summons waiting for him. He sighed; of
course the Council wanted an immediate debriefing, he
should have expected that. Dumping his travel pack in the
middle of the floor, Knight Kenobi cast one wistful glance at
the large shower before dutifully heading out.
The young Knight standing in the center of the Council chamber
remained serene despite having to answer the same questions
three and four times over; he had seen his Master put through
the same drill far too many times to let it bother him. Also,
he knew several of the Council members would be particularly
contentious both because it was his first solo mission and
because of who that Master was. Therefore, he made a special
effort to stay calm and answer politely. Yes, it had started
out as a very simple mission, no, the local powers had not
anticipated that two of the dissident groups would join forces,
yes, the initial security had been adequate. Why had he allowed
the bride to be kidnapped? Two of the bride's attendants turned
out to be members of the dissident group and turned off the
security systems. How did he get the black eye? The bride was a
rather feisty little thing who mistook him for a dissident when
he sneaked into the hideout to rescue her and walloped him very
soundly with her bag. Yes, several times. And yes, it was a
nice wedding, yes, the bride and groom seemed to like each
other, yes, the political situation was stable when he left,
and so forth and so on, until even the diehards finally had
enough and pronounced themselves satisfied. Master Yoda roused
from his state of near somnolence and looked around the room a
bit disgustedly. "Well done, Knight Kenobi. Wait outside you
will."
A bit surprised, Obi-Wan bowed, then went out to the
antechamber to wait. It was late in the afternoon and he was
looking forward to a real shower and some food. It was almost
twenty minutes before the doors opened and Master Yoda came
out.
"Council business for today is finished. Speak with you I
would, Knight Kenobi."
"Of course, Master Yoda."
They proceeded silently and slowly down the halls of the Temple
towards Yoda's quarters, the only sound the tapping of the
Master's stick. Once they were comfortably settled in Yoda's
common room with cool fruit drinks, Obi-Wan waited for the
Master to speak.
"Welcome back, young Kenobi. Happy I am that you have done so
well on your first mission. Credit to your Master's training
you are."
"Thank you, Master Yoda."
"New assignment the Council has for you. Master Buthawd very
ill has become, her classes you will take over until she is
well again."
Obi-Wan had a vague memory of a short furry humanoid with huge
yellow eyes. "Is she still teaching languages to the older
Initiates?"
"Languages for twelve to fourteen year olds is current task."
Obi-Wan laughed, "I thought the policy was not to throw new
Knights directly into the fire, Master Yoda. I've seen Knights
and Masters turn gray trying to get those kids to sit still;
declining verbs doesn't excite them much at that age."
"Great confidence I have in my grand-Padawan," Yoda cackled.
"Do well with them you will."
"Thank you, Master. I do have to admit it will be nice to have
some time here at the Temple. I got bundled off so fast after
the Knighting ceremony I still haven't had a chance to unpack
most of my stuff yet."
"Hmmm, yes, Knighting ceremony. Cut was the training bond also
at that time," Yoda said as he looked closely at the young man.
"Remember I do a Padawan who was very worried about what would
happen when cut the bond was."
"Yes, I remember him, too," Obi-Wan smiled, then turned somber.
"Despite all that `research' and the briefings and everything,
I would have to say I still wasn't really ready for that part
of the experience, Master. Those first few days were the worst,
I guess, feeling like a piece of my head and heart had been
ripped out. I couldn't feel him or hear him any more, there was
just nothing there. Even the Force didn't seem quite right,
like it was no longer complete without him there, or like
looking at a rainbow that was missing several colors." He
paused, worrying his lower lip for a while before continuing
slowly. "I have meditated and thought very hard and long about
my feelings. I believe I understand now how the bond drew us
together, but I also believe there was much more to our
relationship that the bond had nothing to do with. Padawan
Kenobi no longer desires his Master, but Knight Kenobi has a
special place in his heart that he wants very much to be filled
by a man named Qui-Gon Jinn, if that man will still have him."
Yoda rested his chin atop the hands clasped on his stick and
gazed off into space for a while.
"Here in the Temple a Jedi there is, an exceptionally stubborn
Jedi," the Master said softly, looking out the window. "Since
returned from last mission three weeks ago, very quiet this
Jedi has been. Except to perform his assigned duties and
exercise leaves his quarters he does not. So intensely this
Jedi fights that he has run all partners off the floor and now
spar with him no one will. Every day he sends message to
Council, new mission to request. Of course, he seems to realize
not that the messages come only to me."
Yoda paused, then turned to look squarely at the young Knight.
"Concerned I am, but speak to his old Master of what troubles
him this stubborn Jedi will not. Tell me, Knight Kenobi, help
this Jedi are you willing to try?"
Obi-Wan laughed and shook his head in mock dismay. "If this
Jedi knew of this conversation, I think he would be very
strongly tempted to kick both of us off the top of the Temple.
Are you always this devious, Master?"
Yoda looked affronted as his ears drooped halfway. "Devious I
am not, young man," he huffed. "Experienced, perhaps,
practical, always. When deal with Senate and Council idiots and
egos for hundreds of years you have, then many ways you too
will find to get done what is needful."
"Yes, Master Yoda, I'm sure I will," the Knight replied with a
straight face.
"Impudent youngster."
"Yes, Master, that too," Obi-Wan shot back with a cheeky grin.
Yoda smiled. "Good it is to know that not all Knights have lost
sense of humor. But what of our special Jedi, Knight Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan stood and bowed. "I would like very much to help our
special Jedi, Master."
"Good. Tomorrow your new duties start. Good night."
"Good night, Master. Thank you."
The Knight was almost at the door when his grand-Master softly
called out.
"He goes to the training floor at the third hour each day."
Obi-Wan smiled without turning, nodded slightly, and continued
out the door.
Knight Kenobi's first priority the next morning was to head for
the Healer's wing. There he found Master Buthawd in a private
room. She had contracted a severe viral infection of the lungs
which greatly limited her ability to breathe and therefore to
speak or exercise. The virus itself had been found and
eradicated but the damaged lungs would take at least another
three to four weeks to heal. Master Buthawd provided Obi-Wan
access to her computer files that contained all of her lesson
plans, syllabi, student records and other course materials.
There were three classes a day in two languages; Obi-Wan was
already quite fluent in both so they decided two days should be
sufficient to get caught up on all the lesson plans and begin
teaching full time. They had to go slowly because Master
Buthawd was still quite weak, so it was almost midday by the
time they finished reviewing the syllabus for each course and
all of the classes for that day were already completed. Obi-Wan
sent a message to each of the temporary instructors that he
would be by the next day to observe the class and would take
over the day after that.
Stopping in the dining hall for lunch, Obi-Wan still felt a bit
self- conscious as he took his tray to an empty table. Although
he had several friends among the ranks of the younger Knights,
most of his friends were still Padawans and he wasn't entirely
certain how to handle the situation. His natural friendliness
and politeness eased any minor awkwardness, however, as several
Padawans and a few Knights who had been offplanet during his
ceremony joined him to offer congratulations and ask about his
first mission. A few Masters even paused to chat briefly but
Qui-Gon was nowhere to be seen.
Obi-Wan spent the time after lunch going over lesson plans.
Shortly before the third hour he changed into workout clothes,
grabbed his lightsaber and towel, then headed for the training
floors. As he casually wandered around as if looking for an
empty workout area he could feel his stomach churning. It had
been several weeks since he had seen or heard from his former
Master and he wasn't quite sure what kind of reception he would
get. Spotting a familiar figure starting a warmup kata in one
of the smaller side arenas, he walked over, stood just inside
the entrance and waited patiently for some sign of recognition.
As he watched, he noted that the movements were as fluid and
graceful as ever but the man had evidently lost some weight
since the day of the Knighting ceremony.
Qui-Gon finished his first kata and paused for a long moment
without looking in the young man's direction. Instead of
continuing into the next kata, however, he walked over to where
Obi-Wan was standing, stopping at the maximum polite distance
for speaking.
"Knight Kenobi, it is good to see you again," he said
carefully, not allowing any emotion to show.
~ Ah, so that's how it's going to be. All right, you want
formal, I can do formal right back at you. ~ Obi-Wan thought.
"Thank you, Master Jinn. It is good to see you also. I hope you
have been well."
"Well enough."
"I just got back from my first mission yesterday or I would
have inquired after you earlier."
"I have no doubt you acquitted yourself well," Qui-Gon replied,
ignoring the last part of the comment.
"Well, sir, when I left the planet I thought the final
result was a success, but by the time the Council got done with
my debriefing I was beginning to believe that I was surely the
most miserable failure of a Knight they had ever let venture
outside the gates of the Temple."
That drew a ghost of a smile from the older man. "The Council
can be a bit ... difficult at times."
"And I see that you, sir, are still a master of the diplomatic
understatement," Obi-Wan grinned.
"And what can I do for you today, Knight Kenobi?" The reserve
was back now.
The young man bowed. "I'm afraid I've gotten a bit out of
practice, Master Jinn, and I was wondering if you would do me
the favor of allowing me to spar with you, sir."
Qui-Gon stood ramrod straight. While his face was pale and
expressionless, there was a slight quickening of breath and a
mix of emotions flashing in the blue eyes which Obi-Wan could
not clearly translate despite the many years he had known the
man. For a long moment he thought Qui-Gon was going to refuse
altogether. Finally, the Master nodded, "It would be my
privilege, Knight Kenobi. Shall we start with some warmup
katas?"
"Thank you, Master Jinn. That would be quite acceptable."
Qui-Gon evidently quickly realized that Obi-Wan actually was a
bit rusty after six weeks with little opportunity to practice
so he did not push the workout to full intensity. During the
warmup katas without weapons, the two men soon slipped into a
steady rhythm born of long familiarity. During the sparring
session, however, it became clear that although the physical
movements were clean and sure, they missed the rapport they had
enjoyed when the training bond was in place. The occasional
awkward transition or hesitation was passed over in silence,
however, as neither man was willing to discuss it.
At the end of the two hour session, Master and Knight completed
the last kata, saluted each other with their lightsabers, then
stopped to towel off and cool down for a few minutes.
"Thank you for the workout, Master Jinn. I'm afraid I was a
little more out of practice than I realized; I apologize if the
session was not up to your usual standards."
"You are far too modest, Knight Kenobi. You were a little rusty
perhaps, but your skills are exceptionally sound as you well
know. In any event, it is always good to occasionally review
some of the more basic katas. It was a good session and I thank
you for the work."
Seeing that Qui-Gon now seemed to be in a relatively relaxed
mood, Obi- Wan decided to push a little despite the strict
formality that had prevailed so far.
"Master Jinn, I will be here in the Temple for at least a few
more weeks on a teaching assignment. My afternoons are free,
though, and if it would not be an imposition, I was wondering
if you would mind letting me spar with you again."
Again there was a very long pause as Qui-Gon stared sightlessly
out over the main training floor. He turned to look at Obi-Wan,
started to speak, hesitated for another long moment, then
finally replied.
"Knight Kenobi, I have asked for a new mission so I'm not
certain how much longer I will be here in the Temple." He
hesitated again, then continued. "While I am still here,
however, I would consider it an honor if you wish to work
together. I normally begin at the third hour, if that is
acceptable?"
"Thank you, Master Jinn, that would be quite acceptable. Until
tomorrow, then?" He bowed respectfully.
"Until tomorrow," the Master nodded in reply, then left the
arena.
Lying on the couch in his common room after the evening meal,
Obi-Wan thought about what he had and had not accomplished that
day. He felt like he had made a good start on his official
duties. By tomorrow midday he expected to have seen each class
and to have completed reviewing all of the lesson plans; after
lunch he would have time to visit Master Buthawd again with any
additional questions. In his `unofficial duty', however, he
felt that his progress was rather mixed. It was a good sign
that Qui-Gon had agreed to spar with him today and an even
better sign that he seemed willing to continue the daily
arrangement. The actual session had been both pleasant and
painful. Pleasant, because the physical exertion was enjoyable
in and of itself, especially with the companionship of his
former Master. Painful, because it reminded him of their
connection in the Force that they had lost when the bond was
cut and how much he missed it. Obi-Wan was also a bit dismayed
by the strict formality of their conversations and he had found
it very difficult to get any sort of reading on Qui-Gon's true
feelings. Obi-Wan shook his head and sighed; whatever was going
on behind those blue eyes, Obi-Wan was certain the man wasn't
going to make things easy.
During the next two weeks, Obi-Wan's life fell into a smooth
routine. After his morning katas, meditation and breakfast in
his room, his three classes occupied the entire morning.
Although his misgivings about the rambunctiousness of his new
charges proved to be not entirely unfounded, Obi-Wan found
their energy refreshing. In this age group they were all new or
relatively new Padawans, so he found that his stature as the
former Padawan of the legendary Master Jinn automatically
earned a certain bit of awe while his own situation as a new
Knight gave him a great deal of sympathy for their own recent
change of status. He began taking a few liberties with the
lesson plans; while he scrupulously ensured the required topics
were covered, he slipped in what he felt were more interesting
readings and enjoyed coming up with classroom exercises that
were both challenging and humorous. One day he had required
each student to write a limerick, put them all in a hat, then
had each student draw a limerick and try to translate it back
into Standard. By the end of the class everyone was roaring
with laughter, including the teacher, so of course that was the
day Obi-Wan turned around to realize that both Master Yoda and
Master Yaddle had been unobtrusively sitting in the back of the
room. When Obi-Wan started to speak, Yoda waved him away, so he
finished the class as the two Masters quietly slipped away. Oh
well, he thought wryly as the students filed out, I guess I
just added another black mark to poor Master Jinn's record for
contaminating his Padawan.
Most days Obi-Wan made a point of eating lunch and dinner in
the dining hall. He was beginning to be more comfortable with
his place in the Jedi community. He had had a wide circle of
friends and acquaintances among both senior Padawans and
younger Knights before his Knighting; after a bit of initial
awkwardness, everyone realized they were still friends and
relaxed. If he occasionally made an effort to reach out and
make new friends among the Knights, no one minded because he
did not neglect his old friends. Obi-Wan soon found that those
Knights who disdained the company of his Padawan friends tended
to be people he didn't really like anyway.
He spent his early afternoons and most evenings either
preparing for his classes, grading homework, or occasionally
helping a student who was having problems with the material.
More and more, however, the focus of his day became the workout
with Qui-Gon. He eagerly anticipated the coming of third hour
but was careful not to push too fast.
During the sessions Qui-Gon seemed determined to keep things on
a formal basis. He tried very hard to treat Obi-Wan as a
colleague with the respect due to his new stature and, although
he occasionally slipped towards the end of a workout, generally
took pains to ensure that he made requests and suggestions
rather than giving orders and directions. Although Obi-Wan
found it at first amusing but eventually just tedious, he could
appreciate that Qui-Gon was probably having as much, if not
more, difficulty adjusting to their new roles as he had had so
he tried not to let it bother him.
After a few workouts (and many sore muscles), Obi-Wan had
regained his normal level of proficiency and Qui-Gon began
pushing the level of intensity until they were doing a three
hour session with advanced levels of difficulty. Although he
missed the bond with his former Master, Obi-Wan soon found that
his own connection with the Force was just as strong as ever;
to him sparring was almost another form of meditation as he
felt himself become one with the Force and let his spirit out
to sing. He didn't speak of it, but Qui-Gon too seemed to be
happiest when their session was at its most intense and they
were both flowing. Obi-Wan was ecstatic the day he found that
if he opened a part of his shields with a focus on Qui-Gon
while they were sparring, he could feel the older man's Force
flow; while it wasn't as nice as a bond, it still made him feel
good and gave him hope for the future.
Toward the end of the second week they had become comfortable
enough with each other on the floor that they had advanced to a
particularly difficult kata that Obi-Wan had never completed as
a Padawan. They were already two hours into their session when
they began the new kata so both men were comfortably tired.
They successfully stepped through the first four forms at
quarter speed, then half speed. When they attempted it at full
speed, however, Obi-Wan stumbled in the third form twice in a
row. The third time through he stumbled again in the same
place, almost causing his opponent to slice off a piece of the
Knight's nose.
"Stop," Qui-Gon roared, snapping off his own lightsaber in
frustration. He moved over to Obi-Wan and began repositioning
him. "Obi-Wan, your left foot is much too far out, you must
balance it this way," nudging with his boot. "Your left
shoulder should be directly over your hip," he ordered
as he moved around in front of Obi-Wan. Grabbing his right arm,
he moved it to the proper angle, "Your arm must move up
this way so you can follow through properly." Qui-Gon
suddenly froze as he realized that he was now standing almost
belly to chest with his former Padawan, holding the man's right
arm and left shoulder. Obi-Wan was enjoying the contact, but
looking up into the blue eyes, he saw a flash of panic and
confusion. They were so close Obi-Wan could almost taste the
man's sweat and felt the spike of desire which was followed
immediately by fear and uncertainty in his Force signature
before the Master slammed his shields down. Qui-Gon dropped his
arms as if he had been burned and almost stumbled over his own
feet in his haste to back away.
"My apologies, Knight Kenobi," Qui-Gon panted. "I did not mean
to take such liberties, please forgive me."
"No liberties were taken, Master Jinn, so no offense was
taken," Obi- Wan replied in a puzzled tone of voice.
"It is not my place, I mean, it's not appropriate, you're a
Knight, you deserve to be treated as such. Perhaps a different
instructor might be better for you," Qui-Gon said. "I think we
should end the session for today." He turned away to leave.
Obi-Wan could almost hear the unspoken thought ~ and maybe
forever~. "Master Jinn," he said quietly. The older man turned
around reluctantly but stood poised for flight. Obi-Wan spoke
slowly and carefully, as if to a skittish animal.
"Master Jinn, I may be a Knight now, but two months ago I was
still a Padawan. I had a Master whose wisdom and advice I
greatly value, despite whatever the Council and the rest of the
Order might think of him," Obi-Wan smiled gently. "My Master
told me that when I became a Knight I would continue to learn
for the rest of my life. Master Jinn, you are one of the very
best at what you do, you know things I need to learn in order
to be a better Jedi, and when I asked to work with you, I fully
expected that you would use whatever teaching methods are
needed to help me learn those things. I have never expected any
leniency in your instruction because of our former
relationship. Since we began these sessions, you have never
treated me inappropriately and it has been both an honor and a
pleasure to work with you. I do not understand, however, why
you would feel it needful to change the teaching methods I have
seen you use with Initiates, Padawans, Knights and even other
Masters. If I have done something to offend you or you feel I
am not worthy of your teaching, then it is I who should
apologize, if for nothing else than wasting your time. Please,
Master Jinn, tell me what I have done so I may make amends."
All right, he thought with satisfaction, let's see him wiggle
out of that guilt trip.
Qui-Gon looked like he had just been accused of hitting one of
the creche babies. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing
came out. He snapped his jaw shut as he looked around
distractedly. Finally, "I didn't mean ... you haven't ... I
just." He stopped to regroup, then drew a deep breath and
started again. "Knight Kenobi, I assure you that you have not
done anything at all to offend me. I was just trying to suggest
that perhaps another instructor might be more effective ."
Deciding to strike hard while he had his target off-balance,
Obi-Wan smiled sadly, "It's all right, Master Jinn." He hung
his head and let a little tremble creep into his voice, "I
understand, sir, if you don't want me around. You've been more
than kind already. I ... I won't bother you any more, sir." He
let his shoulders droop and started to turn away, hoping
desperately he hadn't overdone it.
"No, no, I didn't say that, you can't, oh Force," Qui-Gon
dithered as his former Padawan began to walk away, almost a
note of desperation in his voice. "Obi-Wan, please come back."
Obi-Wan stopped, then turned around, went back to Qui-Gon and
bowed low. "Yes, Master Jinn," he said softly, straightening
but keeping his eyes downcast and focused on the floor.
Qui-Gon started to reach for him but instead pulled his hand
back and drew himself up to stand as straight as he could with
his hands clenched at his sides. "Knight Kenobi, please forget
what I said. You are a skilled and admirable student and an
excellent Knight. If there are things I can teach you to make
you a better Knight, then it is my duty to ensure that I do so.
It would be my honor and pleasure to continue as your
instructor if you wish."
Obi-Wan looked up at Qui-Gon. "It would be my honor and
pleasure to continue as your student. Thank you, Master Jinn."
"All right, back to work," the Master growled. "That third form
is still atrocious."
"Yes, Master Jinn."
On the way back to his quarters after the session, Obi-Wan
allowed himself a smile of satisfaction. Qui-Gon had run him
around unmercifully for almost two more hours and he knew he
would be sore later, but the thought that perhaps he was making
progress made it worthwhile.
Early the next morning Obi-Wan found a mysterious message in
his mail. Master Yoda directed him to gather lunch and meet him
at noon in a back corner of one of the most obscure gardens in
the Temple. Obi-Wan suspected the devious gnome was up to
something again but since there was nothing he could do about
it until the meeting, he shrugged and went on to his classes.
Stopping by the kitchen shortly before noon, Obi-Wan cajoled
the staff into putting together a bag of sandwiches, fruit
drinks, cheese and veggies. He made sure to snag a goodly
supply of the lemon crisps the old Master was so fond of and
headed out.
Obi-Wan found Master Yoda waiting for him in a nice sunny
corner. It was very quiet as few people even remembered this
place was here, let alone visited. Yoda insisted they eat lunch
first. Obi-Wan provided most of the conversation, telling
several stories of his students more outrageous exploits. Yoda,
however, seemed to be inordinately pleased with himself, and
occasionally cackled gleefully for no apparent reason.
As they sat munching on the lemon crisps, Obi-Wan decided he
had finally had enough. "Master Yoda, with all due respect,
you've been sitting there looking like a felinoid in a tub of
fish. Might I possibly be allowed to know what you have been
giggling about?"
"Giggle I do not, young Kenobi, unbecoming to Council member it
is. But interesting news I have, yes."
"All right, I sort of gathered that. Are you going to tell me?"
Yoda leaned forward conspiratorially. "Visitor I had last
night."
Obi-Wan leaned forward in turn. "Yes, Master, and ...?"
"A very tall visitor."
Obi-Wan gave an exasperated sigh, "Master Yoda!"
"Oh, all right. Getting stodgy you are, bad as Council members
you are becoming," he grumbled, but his good humor quickly
returned. "Yes, very tall visitor. Very agitated. Not that
others could see, no, but know him well I do. Definitely upset
he was. Asked him I did how sparring sessions were going and
more upset he seemed."
Obi-Wan explained what had happened at the sparring session the
day before.
"Ah, explain much, that would."
"What did Qui-Gon want, Master?"
"Wanted to know how much longer on Coruscant you would be. Told
him Master Buthawd's health uncertain, weeks it could be. Then
wanted to know why mission he was not given, go anywhere he
offered as long as it was off Coruscant. Reminded him that
duties here he has been assigned."
"Master Yoda, I don't quite understand what he's trying to do.
If he keeps coming to the sparring sessions every day, why is
he still trying to wangle a mission offplanet? I know I conned
him pretty good yesterday, but if he really wants to get
rid of me, all he has to do is say no."
"Part of his problem that is, say no he cannot. Mention did I
that upset he was?"
"Yes, Master. I think you did manage to get that point across,"
Obi- Wan said dryly.
"Upset he was, shielding not so good."
"You mean you peeked inside his head? But you're his Master, he
trusts you!"
"Know better by now he should. For his own good it was."
"Well, as long as it's already done, what did you find out?"
"Very confused the man is. Still wants you and to be with you,
say no to your requests he cannot even if it hurts him. But,
certain he is that you don't want him since bond was cut.
Afraid to ask and have you say no he is. Thinks if he can get
Council to send him away on mission problem is no longer his
because not his fault you are separated."
"That's pretty muddy thinking, doesn't sound like Qui-Gon,"
Obi-Wan started when it suddenly dawned on him what Yoda had
said. "Hey, wait a minute, you said he still wants me?"
"Yes, has it bad, he does," Yoda cackled.
"He wants me, but thinks I don't I want him?"
"Very many Knighting ceremonies has Qui-Gon seen, almost always
Padawan and Master remain `just good friends' afterward.
Believes that is how you feel also but won't ask. Very stubborn
and prideful is my former Padawan."
"He really wants me?" Obi-Wan asked again thoughtfully.
"Very much."
"Well then, I think we need to find a way to convince our
special Jedi that I want him too without scaring him off."
The two conspirators looked at each other for a moment. Obi-Wan
smiled wickedly as Yoda cackled gleefully.
"Another lemon crisp, Master?"
After careful consideration, they decided their best approach
to capturing the unsuspecting Jedi Master was to continue to
concentrate on the sparring sessions. Qui-Gon had remained
reclusive, rarely venturing out of his quarters except for work
and sparring, so there were few opportunities to create any
seemingly casual encounters. Qui- Gon had kept the quarters he
had shared with Obi-Wan but it was considered poor protocol for
anyone other than another Master to just `drop in' on a Master
without an invitation. He seemed willing to continue the daily
sessions for quite some time, though, and most days actually
seemed to enjoy them. Obi-Wan decided to work on convincing
Qui-Gon to team up with him for the pairs lightsaber
competition which was coming up soon.
The next opportunity came four days later. Obi-Wan successfully
completed all twelve forms of the kata they had been working on
for a week, actually earning a smile from the reserved Master.
They had finished up with freestyle sparring; Obi-Wan put up a
good fight but eventually went a little too far attempting a
particularly acrobatic move and ended up on his back staring
crosseyed at the green lightsaber in front of his nose.
Laughing, he threw his hands up.
"I yield me, sir, to thy superior wizardry with thy magic
sword, o Master."
"I didn't do anything, you silly idiot. You fell on your butt
trying one of your fancy moves," Qui-Gon said with a straight
face.
Obi-Wan started laughing harder, finally crawling over to sit
up against the wall and suck in great whooping gulps of air.
Qui-Gon smiled at him, grabbed both towels, threw the Knight's
towel over his head and sat down against the wall near him.
Mopping his face, Obi-Wan finally got his breath back. "That
was a good session today, Master Jinn. I enjoyed it a great
deal."
"You did well, Knight Kenobi. That was a difficult kata you
completed this afternoon. I am pleased with your progress."
"Thank you, Master Jinn. I have enjoyed sparring with you. It
always seems so much easier to connect with the Force when we
work out; when I work with you it helps me to extend my limits
and I feel the Force even more strongly."
"Yes, that is one of the things I have enjoyed about being a
Jedi."
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments as Obi-Wan
judged the right moment to begin his assault.
"Master Jinn, you know the annual competition is coming up
soon."
Qui-Gon was still leaning back against the wall with his eyes
closed. "Yes, I suppose it is," he replied absently.
"I was wondering if you were going to compete in the open pairs
lightsaber portion."
"Why would I do pairs any more, I don't have a partn... ,"
Qui-Gon stopped abruptly and bit his lower lip hard.
Pretending not to notice, Obi-Wan plowed ahead. "I really like
the pairs, it's just so wonderful working as a team, but I
haven't found a teammate yet and I was getting worried. Then I
started thinking about how well we used to work together and it
just seemed like such a logical solution. I mean, oh goodness,
I'm sorry, I'm really rattling on here, what I want to say is,
can I be your partner for the open pairs?"
Qui-Gon looked at him a bit oddly. "Well, I don't know, I
haven't really thought about what I might do this year."
Obi-Wan continued to plow on as if oblivious, "We could
practice in one of the private rooms with the droids and, as
good as you are, I'm sure it wouldn't take long at all to get
back into the hang of it. After all, sir, you never can tell
when you might be sent on a mission with someone else, you
know, and it would be good for both of us."
"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to practice a little."
Obi-Wan stood up and went over to pump Qui-Gon's hand. "That's
fantastic, Master Jinn. I really, really appreciate this, I've
been looking forward to the competition so much, I know it'll
just be great."
"But, I didn't ..."
Obi-Wan quickly gathered his gear and pumped Qui-Gon's hand
again. "Don't you worry, Master Jinn, I'll take care of getting
the room and droids and everything. I'll practice real hard,
you'll see, it'll all work out. Thanks so much, Master."
As Obi-Wan trotted across the main floor toward the exit, he
thought he could still hear a faint voice behind him, "but, but
..."
Obi-Wan nervously awaited the approach of third hour the next
day. He had reserved a private training room and two training
droids but he wasn't at all sure that Qui-Gon was really going
to show up. He felt like he had been a little too pushy in
steamrolling the Master into this pairs business and was
actually rather surprised that Qui-Gon seemed to have fallen
for his happy little oblivious Knight routine. He just hoped
Yoda was right about how much Qui-Gon really wanted him if they
could ever get him to admit it.
Obi-Wan arrived at the training room early but third hour came
and went with no sign of the normally punctual Jedi Master.
Obi-Wan was beginning to curse anxiously but at ten minutes
after Qui-Gon came in and apologized for being delayed. Obi-Wan
breathed a silent but fervent sigh of relief as Qui-Gon
deposited towel and water bottle near the door. They went
through their warmups silently as the Master seemed rather
preoccupied and Obi-Wan thought perhaps he was indeed having
second thoughts about working with him. By the time they
finished the warmups though, Qui-Gon seemed to have shaken off
whatever was bothering him and was back in full instructor
mode. As it had now been several months since they had last
fought together as a duo they spent the bulk of the session
refamiliarizing themselves with the moves and strategy involved
in working as a pair.
The next couple of sessions they began practicing against the
two droids but Obi-Wan quickly came to a discouraging
realization. Individually they were both excellent swordsman
and they had fought together for so many years that they still
presented a formidable challenge to most other teams, but they
lacked the full communion in the Force which had enabled them
to operate seamlessly as a single being. He wasn't about to
stop by any means; he was very happy he had gotten Qui-Gon to
agree to the pairs and their workouts were still by far the
best part of his whole day. He did miss the Force contact
though so he began exploring the technique he had discovered in
their earlier workouts of creating a sort of focused softening
of his shields. He kept up his shields to everything except
Qui-Gon's Force signature and found that he could follow his
former Master's Force flow, not actually joining it but staying
close enough that he could more easily anticipate Qui-Gon's
moves. He had to be very careful not to push too hard on
Qui-Gon's shields but after a few days practice had mastered
the technique sufficiently to maintain this secondary focus on
the Master even when they practiced at full speed. It wasn't
fully satisfying but it would do for the moment.
Obi-Wan knew from long experience that once Qui-Gon committed
himself to a project he was very thorough. After the first few
tentative practices, their sessions became more and more
intense over the few weeks they had left until the competition.
By one week before the contest they were doing four hour
workouts and added another half hour session against four
practice droids to increase the difficulty level. The night
before the competition they cut back to a two hour lighter
practice and Qui-Gon finally admitted that he was reasonably
satisfied with the level of proficiency they had achieved.
Several times during the workout that last night Qui-Gon seemed
as if he wanted to talk to Obi-Wan about something but ended up
diverting the conversation or not speaking at all. As they were
cooling off, the Master came over to the Knight with a very
studied nonchalance and hesitantly asked the young man if he
would care to join him early in the morning for a light workout
and meditation in preparation for the competition. Obi-Wan was
ecstatic; this was a custom they had shared when he was a
Padawan but he had been afraid of pushing Qui-Gon too far by
asking for it himself. He kept his elation hidden, of course,
appeared to consider the idea for a moment and then casually
agreed that it seemed like a good idea. They decided to meet
back in the private training room at first light. Walking back
to his quarters, Obi-Wan had to work hard to maintain a sedate
pace and serene face. If he played his cards right, this was
going to be the perfect opportunity to pounce if there ever was
one. Before going to bed, he sent a message to Yoda to let him
know that zero hour of their long campaign was now at hand.
At first light the two men met back at the training room. For
thirty minutes they did warmups and light katas, just enough to
take the edge off and develop a light sweat. Obi-Wan had
lightened his shields to let more of his own emotions show
through while focusing tightly on trying to read Qui-Gon. They
finished their workout and went to the center of the room to
meditate.
While apparently sitting serenely facing Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan
carefully let a small amount of distress leak out of his
lightened shields, gradually letting it increase. This time he
didn't have to fake anything. The anxiety was genuine; if
Qui-Gon turned him away this morning he didn't know what he
would do. Finally, Qui-Gon opened his eyes.
"Knight Kenobi, is something wrong?"
"I'm sorry, Master Jinn, I did not mean to disturb you. I shall
try to do better. I don't want to ruin the competition after
we've worked so hard to get ready."
Qui-Gon hesitated. "Is there something I can help you with,
Knight Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan stood up and began to pace slowly, then stopped to
kneel again in front of Qui-Gon. He looked down and worried his
lower lip as if trying to figure out what to say. Finally he
looked up and said softly, "Master Jinn, do you believe that
people should keep their promises?"
"Of course. I have always very strongly believed that if it is
at all possible you should keep your promises." He stopped
short of saying it, but Obi-Wan could almost see an annoyed
look on his face that said "and you should know that by now."
"That's what I have always believed too. But now, well, someone
that I trusted a great deal has not kept a promise they made. I
don't know what I should do and it has been bothering me a
lot."
"Is there perhaps a reason the person is not able to keep that
promise?"
"That's what I keep asking myself and I keep trying to find
reasons. I thought perhaps because the promise was made a while
ago they might have forgotten about it or maybe it was because
I was young they thought it didn't matter." Obi-Wan hung his
head and swallowed hard. "But I respected this person so much,
I looked up to them for so long, it just really hurts to think
they might have forgotten about me."
"Have you tried to talk to them?" Qui-Gon asked
sympathetically.
"Well, I could be mistaken, but it seems they've been keeping
me at arms length for a while now, and I'm not sure they even
like me any more. I don't know how to talk to them anymore."
Obi-Wan could see the decision forming in Qui-Gon's eyes as he
spoke, "Would it help if I talked to them for you?"
"That would be a kindness, Master Jinn, but it could be a bit
difficult."
"I don't understand. Why would it be difficult?"
Obi-Wan looked straight into Qui-Gon's eyes. "Because the
person I'm talking about is you."
The room went dead silent for several minutes as the two men
stared into each other's eyes. Qui-Gon must have been quite
distracted because Obi-Wan could clearly feel the confusion and
distress radiating through the man's shielding.
Qui-Gon finally stirred. "Knight Kenobi, I must confess that I
truly do not understand. I have never meant to hurt you and I
truly do not know what promise you are referring to."
"Several years ago Master Qui-Gon Jinn confessed to his Padawan
that he loved him but refused to let that Padawan love him
back. Master Jinn told that Padawan that he could come back
after he was Knighted and he would welcome a discussion
of their mutual feelings." Obi-Wan stopped to gather himself
and leaned in closer to Qui-Gon. "Well, Master Jinn, I
am a Knight now, and you have been treating me like a
distant stranger ever since I got back from my first mission.
You keep showing up here every day like you do still care but
then you run off and hide in your quarters so I can't see you
outside this sparring hall. When we are in here, though, you
hardly ever say anything except what move to work on next. I've
had enough, Qui-Gon Jinn, and we're going to settle this here
and now if I have to tie you down and sit on you to make you
listen."
Obi-Wan grabbed Qui-Gon's shoulders and pushed him back flat on
the floor. He leaned over him and looked down into the Master's
eyes as he continued, "Qui-Gon Jinn, you are the most
exasperating, cantankerous, stubborn man it has ever been my
misfortune to meet. But you are also the kindest and most
compassionate man I have ever met and I love you." Obi-Wan bent
over and firmly kissed the totally stunned Master.
Qui-Gon roused himself and tried to twist away from the
Knight's grasp. Obi-Wan grabbed his hands and pinned them at
his sides, then sat down hard on Qui-Gon's stomach, causing a
strangled "oof" to escape.
"Oh no you don't," he growled. "We're going to finish this one
way or another right now, old man."
"Kenobi ... Obi-Wan, this can't be, you don't know what you're
saying, it just can't happen ..." Qui-Gon started to ramble.
"Qui-Gon, shut up, you're not making any sense," the Knight
barked as he added a Force shove to make sure the big Jedi
stayed down. "Now, let's take this one piece at a time, all
right?"
The now subdued man nodded.
"First, do you still want me? Do you still love
me? Because if you don't, then there's not much point in
continuing this conversation."
Qui-Gon nodded miserably. "Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I, I still want
you. I love you with all of my heart."
"Good. Now tell me why you think it's so impossible that I
could love you."
"Obi-Wan, I know you believed that you cared for me; I even let
myself hope for a while that it might be true. But you had
those feelings when you were a Padawan. I've seen hundreds of
Knightings in my life, and for only a handful of those did that
kind of love between Master and Padawan survive the cutting of
the training bond. How could I believe that it would be any
different for you? Especially when I look at you and I see such
a young and beautiful Knight, a good man, popular and able, a
Knight with his whole life before him who could have anyone he
wanted. Who in their right mind could even imagine that such a
beautiful young man would have any desire for a foolish old man
like me?"
"Well, maybe I'm not in my right mind," Obi-Wan smiled as he
saw a flicker of hope in the Master's eyes which was quickly
dashed when he continued. "But you were right that a Padawan's
feelings change when the bond is cut."
Obi-Wan paused for a moment. "Padawan Kenobi was devoted to
Master Jinn. He loved the man who had cared for him, taught
him, showed him the beauty of the Light in the Force, made him
into the man he became. When the training bond was cut, Padawan
Kenobi was devastated; the place where those feelings had lived
had been torn out and it seemed they were gone forever. But
Knight Kenobi took a long hard look at what was still there,
and what he saw were the feelings for a good and worthy man, a
man who had his flaws but also tremendous strength and courage,
a man who shone with the beauty of the Force. He remembered the
joy and the strength of their union in the Force and Knight
Kenobi saw the man who could complete his soul."
Obi-Wan released the Master's hands and rolled off him to lie
stretched out on his side next to him. He gently took Qui-Gon's
hand and moved it to his own face. "I know it's been so very
hard for you, you kept your feelings behind a wall for such a
long time so I could become a Knight, but it's over and I'm
here for you now. I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn." Obi-Wan closed his
eyes, laid his head on the Master's chest and dropped his
shields, pouring out all of his love in a wave of longing and
desire.
For a long moment there was only silence, then a gasp. Obi-Wan
felt Qui-Gon loosening his shields, then was overwhelmed by the
wave of love, desire and pain that flooded him. Qui-Gon pulled
the younger man up so they were both on their knees, kissed him
hard on the mouth, then held him in a tight embrace for several
minutes as he sobbed.
Eventually both men pulled back from the embrace. Tears still
running down his face, Qui-Gon reached up to touch Obi-Wan's
face gently. "I can't believe it's true, I've wanted you for so
long."
"Believe, my love. Your waiting is over." Obi-Wan softly kissed
the Master's lips as he gently sent a Force tendril.
// Qui-Gon, my love //
Another gasp. // Obi-Wan? //
// Yes, my love //
// Obi-Wan! //
As the young Knight pressed his kiss, demanding and receiving
entrance to his lover's mouth, swirling currents of Force
coalesced around them in a joyous, scintillating fountain. The
two lovers were joined together in a warm blanket of
fulfillment.
Finally forced to break their kiss to come up for the air, the
two men held each other in a tight embrace.
// Obi-Wan, if this is a dream, please don't ever wake me up //
// It's even better than a dream because it's real //
Suddenly they were interrupted by an insistent knocking on the
door. They broke their embrace just before a Knight stuck his
head through the door. "Hey, come on, you guys were supposed to
be out of there five minutes ago - oh, I'm sorry, Master Jinn,
I didn't realize..."
Qui-Gon held up his hand. "It's all right, we've finished what
we needed to do in here." He smiled at Obi-Wan. "We were just
leaving."
The two Jedi walking through the Temple halls presented a
serene appearance to the jostling throngs preparing for the
day's special activities.
// We need to get out of here // Qui-Gon nodded at a passing
acquaintance.
// Gardens? //
// Now //
Passing swiftly through back hallways and down seldom used
stairways the two men soon emerged from a side door into the
early morning light. Qui-Gon led the way past fountains, flower
beds and statues to a quiet grassy corner hidden behind the
friendly concealment of a row of overgrown hedges.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stood facing each other, neither quite sure
exactly how to proceed. Finally, Obi-Wan smiled and held out
his hand. Qui- Gon slowly reached out to gently grasp the hand,
holding it as if it were made of fragile glass.
"Obi-Wan, please forgive me, it's just that this is all so
sudden and very overwhelming. I'm not sure whether to laugh or
cry or just fall down on my knees to thank the Force."
"It's all right. To be honest, I'm feeling kind of shaky
myself. When I told you I loved you I wasn't sure if you were
going to hit me or kiss me back."
"Actually, I think my brain went into a total state of denial.
I had convinced myself that was something that would never
happen. When you were my Padawan I kept my love locked up, but
I could feel you through the bond, I could see that you cared
for me. I could at least unlock my heart sometimes to take that
love out, hold it, and dream of what might be, no matter how
much it hurt each time I put it away and turned the key. That
day you were Knighted and I couldn't feel you any more ..."
Qui-Gon's voice choked.
Obi-Wan moved closer and held his lover in a gentle embrace,
one hand running slowly through the long hair.
"It's all right. I remember all too well that day when the
training bond was dissolved. There was one part of me that was
happy that I had finally achieved what we had worked so hard
for. But when the bond was cut I felt like part of me had been
cut out with it. I couldn't feel you and I was so despondent
and mixed up, I didn't know what to do. It took me a while to
sort out the chaos inside and find out that what was left was
truly love for you."
"I'm glad you came back for me. I have to admit that where you
are concerned, my courage, and probably whatever sense and
logic I ever had, seems to have failed me since your Knighting.
That first day you came to the training floor, I very nearly
turned around and ran away. I didn't think I would be able to
bear being so near to you and yet so far from your heart."
"Why did you stay?"
"I'm not really sure. I remembered that sparring had always
been one of our special joys. And, I think, perhaps I was
desperate enough to grab for any piece of you I could have."
Qui-Gon grinned tentatively, "or perhaps I just have a major
masochistic streak that I hope the soul healers never find out
about."
Obi-Wan whapped his shoulder. "You certainly didn't make things
easy, you know."
Qui-Gon tightened the embrace. "I'm sorry for that. In my head,
I had convinced myself you couldn't possibly love me, but there
was a small piece of my heart that persisted in believing in
the impossible. I knew that if I ever asked and you said no,
what little was left of my heart would be broken. I'm so glad
you persisted, though."
// I learned patience and stubbornness from a Master //
Qui-Gon bent down for a gentle kiss. // And I have much to
learn from you, my love //
Obi-Wan leaned back, then reached up to caress Qui-Gon's cheek.
"The pairs competition starts soon. We should get ready."
"I think I would rather stay here with you," Qui-Gon murmured
as he reached to capture the hand on his cheek, then gently
kissed the palm.
"Master Jinn, today we have a title to claim. Tonight, I
promise that you will claim your reward for waiting for me all
those years."
"It was a very, very long time to wait, my Obi-Wan," the Master
slyly drawled.
// Then I shall have to make sure it is a very, very large
reward // Obi-Wan grinned wickedly as he stepped back out of
reach. // You owe me for these last couple of months, Qui-Gon
//
// ? //
// You have no idea how hard it was to spar with you, knowing
what we had before and not being able to have it again //
// I understand. Being one with you in the Force when we used
to spar was one of the main things that made my life bearable
//
// Let us take the best of our old life and make it the start
of our new one. Join with me today, let us be one again //
// Forever, my love //
Master and Knight made their way back to the main arena just as
the first matches in the junior singles lightsaber competition
were finishing. Waiting quietly for their first match to begin,
the two men were carefully rebuilding the rapport they had
enjoyed before Obi-Wan's Knighting. Wordlessly they began
crafting layers of Force energy into a seamless link between
them. In their first match the link was still tentative, a
nascent morning bloom still seeking the first light, but the
two young Knights they faced stood no chance against the
distinguished swordsmen. As each match progressed, the link
grew firmer, fed by the Force energy flowing from each man. The
pair began to mesh into a seamless entity and the brilliance of
their teamwork began drawing more and more attention; by late
afternoon the arena was filled in anticipation of the final
match.
In one of the small practice rooms near the main floor, several
of the remaining contestants for upcoming matches waited.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan occupied the far corner, sitting shoulder
to shoulder against the wall, eyes closed and bodies relaxed.
Obi-Wan was almost humming in contentment, enjoying the solid
warmth of the man next to him. The link had blossomed like a
red rose in the heat of the midday sun, spinning itself into a
shining web encompassing two hearts which beat as one.
Hearing the call for their match, the two men rose and left for
the center of the main arena. As the contestants were
announced, they surveyed their opponents, a formidable duo of
Masters who had nearly beaten them in a competition three years
earlier. Obi-Wan felt the anticipation rapidly building as the
introductions were completed and the signal to begin was given.
As the lightsabers ignited, he felt as if he could see the bond
begin to glow, a lightly shimmering incandescence surrounding
both men. Moving into their first defensive position, Obi-Wan
could feel himself merging with his Master. He could feel
Qui-Gon's heart beating as his own, breathing with his lungs,
seeing with his eyes. The Force surged around them, and Obi-Wan
suddenly knew that this was right as nothing else had
ever felt so right before. He grinned fiercely and let himself
go completely as he felt Qui-Gon join him in the single being
they had now become.
The match proved to be lengthy and challenging. For a long
while both pairs were content to maintain a solid defensive
stance as they cautiously probed and parried. The audience was
awed by the elegance and exactitude of the deadly ballet that
moved fluidly across the arena. The team of Jinn and Kenobi
gained the interior position, fighting back to back as their
flashing sabers whirled so fast they created a sphere of green
and blue light around the two Jedi. Their opponents danced
around the perimeter, time after time trying in vain to pierce
the Force-enhanced protective shroud. Slowly wearing their
opponents down, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan seemed tireless, never
wavering in their seamless precision as they gradually began to
move onto the offensive and drive their foes across the floor.
Pursuing relentlessly, they waited patiently for the right
opening. Finally sensing that their opponents were tiring,
Obi-Wan engaged one man in a defensive battle as Qui-Gon
shifted to a fierce offensive attack on the second. Qui-Gon
drove his foe backward toward Obi-Wan's opponent until they
were only a few yards apart. Suddenly, Qui-Gon executed a
complex aerial flip over his man while Obi-Wan simultaneously
dove and rolled toward the man Qui-Gon had just left. When the
blur of movement was completed, Obi-Wan had emerged inside the
guard of one Master with saber at the man's throat while
Qui-Gon was behind the other Master with his saber poised
across the side of the man's neck. Stunned silence prevailed
for a moment, then the entire arena erupted in thunderous
applause as the two Masters graciously yielded.
The applause and cheers continued as both teams moved back to
the center of the arena and faced each other. Raising their
sabers, the teams saluted each other and acknowledged the
well-fought effort on both sides. Extinguishing their weapons,
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan then turned to each other. With a wicked
smile, Qui-Gon pounced on his former apprentice, engulfed him
in a tight embrace and kissed him hard.
// Master, my reputation ... //
// ... has just been greatly enhanced //
A second stunned sudden silence was followed by more applause
and cheers as Qui-Gon finally broke the long kiss, then put his
arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders as they left the floor. Obi-Wan
was still riding the adrenaline and Force rush from their match
as they left and felt as if he was floating. He could not
remember ever feeling this wonderful and the future looked even
brighter. He put his arm around the Master's waist and leaned
into him as they headed down the hallway, neither caring who
saw them.
// Your place or mine, o mighty Master?//
// Mine, of course //
// Why 'of course' ? //
// Bigger bed, my dear Knight //
Obi-Wan laughed and felt his heart soaring. Suddenly they were
interrupted by a raspy voice calling out behind them.
"Master Jinn, Knight Kenobi."
They turned and waited politely as they saw Master Yoda slowly
making his way toward them. He was followed at a slight
distance by another small but furry Master.
Obi-Wan recognized the second visitor. "Master Buthawd! I
didn't know you were back."
"Returned to us today, she did. Speak to you two, I wish," Yoda
said.
Both men bowed and replied in unison, "Yes, Master."
"Watched you today, I did. Most impressive, yes."
"Thank you, Master Yoda," Qui-Gon said.
Yoda looked the tall Master up and down. "Last match very good,
indeed, especially display at end," he cackled as he poked
Qui-Gon in the shins with his stick. "Very public display,
hmmm."
Qui-Gon blushed as he muttered, "Yes, Master."
"Explain yourself, you will. What are you doing with my grand
Padawan?" Yoda demanded as he got in another whack on the
shins.
Qui-Gon winced but stood his ground as one long arm reached out
to gather a grinning Knight into his side. "Obi-Wan and I love
each other," he said defiantly.
"Love, hmmm ... what say you, Knight Kenobi?"
Obi-Wan kept his shields up as he paused for a long moment.
"Yeah, I guess so," he finally replied with a serious face.
"Huh! What do you mean, you guess so, what's that
supposed to mean, you said ..." Qui-Gon spluttered.
Yoda and Obi-Wan were laughing as the Knight reached down to
shake hands with the old Master.
For a moment Qui-Gon stared at the two as if they had suddenly
sprouted horns and tails. Understanding quickly dawned,
however. "Why, you miserable, devious, little green troll," he
wagged a finger in Yoda's face, "you've been conspiring again,
haven't you, you sorry little - OOWWW!"
Qui-Gon's rant was interrupted by a Force-enhanced thwack
across one already bruised shin. "Tssk, tsskk, such language,
my Padawan. Your own fault, it was. Much too stubborn for your
own good."
Obi-Wan grabbed his former Master and kissed him to prevent
another outburst. Breaking the kiss, he said softly "We both
care for you a great deal, Qui-Gon. After I came back to
Coruscant, Master Yoda helped me to sort things out. You
can be pretty stubborn, you know."
Somewhat mollified, Qui-Gon stopped glaring at Yoda long enough
for a disgruntled "hmmph".
"Proposal I have for you Knight Kenobi," said Yoda.
"Yes, Master?" Obi-Wan lifted an eyebrow.
"Master Buthawd an excellent recovery of health has had. If
turn over class records now you can, take back classes she will
starting tomorrow."
Although it was hard to see any expression through the dense
fur on the short Master's face, Obi-Wan almost swore he could
detect a twinkle in her eye and wondered for a moment just how
far Yoda's conniving extended. Torn between wanting Qui-Gon now
and the prospect of waiting now in order to have more time
tomorrow, he turned to his lover and said hesitantly, "It would
only take a couple of hours, if you wouldn't mind too much ...
"
Qui-Gon looked acidly at the whole group for a moment as if
suspecting yet another plot was about to be hatched against
him, then finally relented and embraced the Knight. "It's all
right, Obi-Wan, this will give us more time to be together
later. I'll go back to my quarters, get cleaned up and arrange
to have dinner sent up. Will seventh hour be all right?"
"That would be wonderful. Thank you." After giving his lover a
quick kiss, Obi-Wan headed for his own quarters with Master
Buthawd in tow while Qui-Gon and Yoda talked.
Obi-Wan's class records were well organized so he was able to
complete the transition with relative ease. They went over each
student's status as well as the progress of the class as a
whole. Obi-Wan was pleasantly surprised to find that Master
Buthawd was quite interested in some of the new exercises he
had introduced. There was a lot of material to go over and the
time passed quickly but they were able to finish enough by half
past sixth hour that the Master pronounced herself satisfied
that she could take over in the morning and promised to seek
him out later if she had more questions. She complimented Obi-
Wan on the excellent progress the classes had made and as she
was leaving also invited him to stop in and help if he had some
free time. Obi-Wan thanked her, then retreated to the fresher
for a hot shower.
Walking down the hallway, Obi-Wan could feel the pull of the
new bond growing ever stronger. Finally standing in front of
the familiar door just before seventh hour, he felt an odd
sense of disassociation. It was almost as if the Padawan who
had lived in these quarters for so many years had died and been
reborn as a new man, a Jedi Knight now returning to rekindle
the ashes of the fire which had birthed him. Stepping inside,
he gazed slowly around, noting absently that nothing seemed to
have changed since the last time he had been in these rooms.
His eyes lingered on the closed door to the Padawan room until
Qui-Gon emerged from the kitchen and claimed his full
attention.
Barefoot, hair tied back in a single tail, and dressed in
casual light gray leggings and a cobalt blue tunic, the Master
was a delicious sight as he strode forward to wrap his former
apprentice in a warm hug. After a quick kiss, Qui-Gon went back
to finish bringing out the rest of the meal as he waved Obi-Wan
in the direction of the table. The Knight decided it would be
more comfortable with his boots off and left them near the
front door before sitting down opposite Qui-Gon at their small
table.
The meal itself passed quietly enough. The Temple kitchen had
sent up some of its better offerings so they didn't have to
worry about Qui- Gon's rather suspect cooking and the Master
had brought out a particularly fine bottle of Sylvoran wine he
had received as a gift a few years back. Both men turned out to
be very hungry, which was perhaps not so startling given the
amount of energy they had expended that day. They spoke little
until after their initial hunger was satisfied and then talked
desultorily of various inconsequential topics as they worked
their way through the rest of the meal. Obi-Wan was somehow not
surprised when Qui-Gon mentioned that Yoda had reassigned his
duties so Qui-Gon had the next few days free. By the time they
reached the fruit pastries which completed the repast, though,
Obi-Wan could feel the anticipation building and the two men
made quick work of cleaning up.
They moved to the couch in the common room and sat down next to
each other. There was an awkward silence for a moment until
Qui-Gon shyly gathered in one of Obi-Wan's hands and slowly
brought it to his mouth for a kiss. Gently stroking the palm
with one thumb, he looked at Obi- Wan.
"You know, I can see you in front of me, I can touch you, I can
hear you, and I feel the bond between us, but somehow I'm still
having trouble believing you're really here."
Obi-Wan's free hand reached up to caress the older man's face,
softly tracing the edge of the beard. "It was an awfully long
time, wasn't it?"
"Yes, all those years when I wanted you so much. I could see
you every day but I knew if I ever let go, touched you, I might
risk losing you. There were times I felt like a man dying of
thirst and you were a cool stream of water, always in front of
me but always just out of reach." He smiled ruefully, "there
were times I meditated so much I wasn't sure my knees were
going to survive until you were Knighted." Still holding one
hand, he reached up to carefully run the other through
Obi-Wan's hair.
"I have to admit I never really understood all of your
concerns, especially about what would happen after our training
bond was dissolved. But I understand now why most relationships
never survive after the bond is cut and I'm just beginning to
appreciate how much strength it took to hold out all that
time." He leaned over to graze his lips softly against
Qui-Gon's lips. "I just wish you could have trusted me more
when I got back." Another gentle touch of lips.
"I'm sorry. I was too afraid to risk a refusal." Another kiss.
"I promise I'll make it up to you." Warm lips touching, hot
tongue gently asking permission.
Tongues touching and eagerly exploring, Obi-Wan raised both
hands to Qui-Gon's head, one hand carefully loosing the hair
tie so he could run his hands through the long brown and silver
mass.
They held the kiss until the need for air finally forced them
apart. Qui-Gon softly traced the contours of his lover's face,
fingertips just barely touching the skin, while Obi-Wan
continued to run his hands through the Master's fine silky
hair.
"mmmm ... I've always wanted to do that ... such beautiful hair
..." Obi-Wan murmured.
Qui-Gon moved closer and began raining gentle kisses across his
lover's face, starting at his forehead, across his eyes, down
his cheeks, on his chin, back up to his nose and finishing with
another deep kiss on the welcoming lips. Obi-Wan ran one hand
through his lover's hair as the other traced the edge of one
ear and then began to move in slow circles on Qui-Gon's back,
fingers gliding smoothly over the fine fabric. For several more
minutes they kissed and petted each other. Qui-Gon moved to
nibble at an ear and began working his way down Obi- Wan's
neck, whiffling softly under the neck of the tunic, pushing the
fabric down off his shoulders until it would go no further. He
kissed and nibbled at the base of the neck as he began very
slowly unfastening Obi-Wan's tunic. Meanwhile, the young Knight
had loosened the Master's tunic and was lightly massaging his
back under the shirt in soothing circles.
Qui-Gon pulled back to get to the last fastener on Obi-Wan's
tunic and remove it altogether. This gave Obi-Wan room to grab
the bottom of the Master's tunic and pull it up and over his
head. They joined again in a lingering kiss, tongues dancing,
the first skin to skin contact sending an electric jolt through
both men, causing the bond to begin to gently throb. Hands
roamed hungrily across the newly exposed expanse of skin. They
broke slowly from the kiss as Qui-Gon nibbled his partner's
lower lip. Qui-Gon leaned his head back as Obi-Wan moved down
to the older man's neck, nibbling and kissing along the neck
and shoulder, then pausing to suck hard at the vein pulsing at
the base of the neck. Kissing the red mark left behind he began
to move even lower, licking and kissing the skin, paying
particular attention to each scar he encountered, memorials to
his Master's long service to the Jedi. Qui-Gon's hands
continued to roam, skimming ghostlike across Obi's back and
arms, then leaving a tingling and tickling feeling down his
ribs and across his belly.
Obi-Wan's progress continued and he began to suck on one
nipple, grazing it with his teeth, then kissing and sucking it
again. His partner's large hands found the two smaller nipples
and quickly brought them to attention; the jolt sent a surge of
electricity to Obi-Wan's rapidly hardening cock. He bit down on
the nipple in his mouth, causing a gasp from his lover, then
quickly licked the pain away before moving over to minister to
the other nipple. Two sets of hands continued to explore slowly
as if seeking to touch every possible inch of skin. As Obi-Wan
finished his attentions to the now hard nipple, he felt himself
drawn back up for an intense kiss. Qui-Gon embraced him hard
and forced his tongue deep, savoring the unique flavor of his
lover. As the bond continued to increase in intensity, the two
men began to feel each other's emotions and reactions just as
they had during the sparring earlier that day. By now Obi-Wan's
cock was uncomfortably tight even in the loose leggings; he
could both see and feel that Qui-Gon was in a similar state. As
they withdrew from another long kiss, on impulse he reached for
one of Qui-Gon's hands and moved it to press down on his own
cock through the leggings.
Qui-Gon's reaction startled and shocked his new lover. Up to
this point he had been as eager and passionate as Obi-Wan, but
as soon as his hand started to squeeze the younger man's hard
cock through the fabric, he froze. Obi-Wan could feel a spike
of distress through the bond, then Qui-Gon seemed to withdraw
emotionally just as he pulled back physically to move away on
the couch. He sat very still, breathing heavily, arms pulled up
to hug himself in a defensive slump, head down.
"Qui-Gon, what's wrong?" Obi-Wan asked anxiously.
Making a conscious effort to relax, Qui-Gon let his arms drop
and looked up. "I ... I'm sorry, Obi-Wan," he mumbled. "I guess
I wasn't quite ready for that ... "
"I don't understand what's wrong. I thought you were all right
with what we're doing, it felt good over the bond. If we're
going too fast or I've done something wrong ... "
"No, no, it's me," Qui-Gon interrupted.
"Qui-Gon, I thought you had done this before. You're surely not
a virgin at your age, are you?"
"Of course not," he said with wounded dignity, sitting up
straight.
Remembering that Yoda had mentioned only Qui-Gon's female
lover, Obi- Wan had a hunch. "You've never been with a man,
though, have you?" he said very softly.
Qui-Gon blushed, swallowed, then sighed. "Well, yes, sort of.
It's kind of a long story." Qui-Gon shifted uncomfortably and
the blush deepened. "And it's, ... well, ... it's just ...
there were some unexpected problems."
"It's all right. You don't have to talk about it if it's going
to bother you."
"No, I don't want there to be any secrets between us. I love
you, and I want very much to make love to you. You need to know
about it so you understand ..."
Obi-Wan reached out to hold Qui-Gon's hand, silently sending
love and reassurance over their bond.
Qui-Gon smiled gratefully, then rubbed his nose with a
forefinger and sighed again before continuing. "When I was a
Padawan, I was fairly active sexually and did the usual
experimenting. I first made love with a woman on my 18th
birthday ... a few months after that I had this friend, a
rather good looking young male Padawan. We had done a lot of
kissing and groping and finally decided we were going to, you
know, do it. We wanted to make this a special occasion because
it was the first time with a man for both of us. We were on a
break between classes and were both able to get permission from
our Masters to leave the Temple for a late night. We decided to
really make a night of it, a nice dinner out, a couple of clubs
and then find a hotel so we could have some privacy.
Unfortunately we rather overdid things by spending too much and
drinking too much. By the time we were ready to leave the last
club, we didn't have a whole lot of money left for a nice place
to stay. Not being entirely sober and by that time getting
anxious to get to the main event, so to speak, we picked a
place at random on one of the lower levels. We should have
known better, but it looked reasonably clean, we weren't really
thinking straight, and, in any event, we figured we could take
care of ourselves. We went up to our room and after a little
preliminary kissing and petting, we got naked and started to
explore each other's bodies."
Qui-Gon paused again to close his eyes and take a couple of
deep breaths. "We hadn't gotten very far when the door burst
open and a group of men came rushing in. We were both startled
enough that we didn't react very fast and they must have
knocked both of us with some kind of blackjack. The next thing
I remember was waking up with a nasty headache; I was still
naked but tied up and my friend was still unconscious and was
bleeding from a head cut. There were ten of them, rough
looking, mostly humanoid, and they seemed to be arguing. As
best as I could determine, they had been looking for someone
who had ripped them off in some kind of smuggling deal, had a
tipoff the person was in this hotel, and had found us instead.
I was hoping they'd just leave us alone and go look for
whomever it was they really wanted, but luck was not with us
that night. One of them found our lightsabers, came over and
looked at us, then realized they had caught two Jedi Padawans.
He called everyone over and they seemed to find it very amusing
to have so easily captured two Jedi, even if we were just
Padawans. Most of them were still angry about missing their
real prey, but they obviously didn't think much of Jedi either,
so they decided to have some `fun' with us instead."
Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan's hand and worried his lower lip a bit
before continuing in a quiet voice. "By this time my friend was
conscious but still pretty groggy. We were both scared and
couldn't figure out how to get out of there. I was trying to
call my Master over our bond but I was having a hard time
focusing because my head hurt so badly and I couldn't tell if I
was getting through to him. They started to rough us up but one
of them figured out that since we were both already naked we
must have been having sex and he convinced the others it would
be `amusing' to force us to do it in front of them. With a
blaster at my head and a knife at my throat, there wasn't a
whole lot of choice. They untied us and forced us to kiss and
fondle each other but my friend had a bad concussion and
couldn't achieve an erection even after they threatened him and
cut him pretty badly. I was in better shape, at least I had an
erection, so they forced me to have anal sex with him,
threatened to kill him if I didn't go through with it. Well, I
managed to do enough to satisfy them even though I was nauseous
and threw up as soon as it was over. By this time some of them
had decided they had had enough and wanted to get out of there
and get back to looking for the ripoff artist. I think a couple
of them wanted to stay and have a go at us themselves but
fortunately they must have gotten outvoted. One of them did cut
off my friend's braid as some kind of souvenir, I suppose, and
they tied us up again. I must have been hit on the head again
because the next thing I remember is waking up in the Healer's
ward. Master Yoda told me later he had been able to trace us
through our bond but they never did find the people who hurt
us."
"My friend had the worst of the affair. I got out of the
Healer's ward in three days but he ended up staying two weeks.
Afterward we both had to go through counseling for a while but
for a long time sex just didn't seem very important to me any
more and I was very uncomfortable with getting physically close
to anyone, especially another man." Looking up at Obi-Wan,
Qui-Gon gave him a half-smile. "I did eventually meet a very
wonderful woman, and we were very close until she was killed on
a mission. But I never met any men that I liked enough to want
to try to get over this block that had developed in my head."
"So that's why you always had so much trouble with all the
Talks when I was young?"
"Yes, I had the same problem with both of my male apprentices;
I was still uncomfortable even discussing intimate subjects.
When I finally fell in love with you, though, I wanted you so
very much, and it had been so long, I hoped that it wouldn't be
a problem any more. I guess I thought that if I could fantasize
about doing it with you and could masturbate while I thought
about you, I should be able to really do those things with you
if I ever got the opportunity " He snorted in self-deprecation.
"Evidently I thought wrong, judging by my reaction tonight when
I touched your cock, even through your leggings. I felt like I
was suddenly having a flashback and I just couldn't go through
with it any more."
Obi-Wan opened his arms and invited his lover in as he
continued to send warmth and love over their bond. "Qui-Gon, I
had no idea. It's all right, we'll work it out."
"I feel so stupid, I know it's just in my head and I could
have, should have, done something about it before now," the
Master whispered as he hugged the young Knight. "I'm sorry, I
wanted this to be so good for you, it's not turning out the way
I dreamed of for such a long time..."
"It's all right," Obi-Wan murmured. "We can stop now if you
want, it's all right."
"No, I really do want to make love to you, now, tonight, every
night, forever. I just need to get past this nonsense in my
head."
"We can do this together, my love. Let me help you."
Qui-Gon pulled back from the embrace and looked humbly at the
young man. "I would like that very much. What are we going to
do?"
"We're going to go to your bedroom so we have more room to get
comfortable and we are going to start over. We're only going to
go as fast as you are comfortable with, and the leggings stay
on until you're sure you're ready. Can you do that for me?"
Qui-Gon nodded soberly at his lover. Obi-Wan could still feel
the older man's embarrassment and discomfort over the bond, but
he could also sense that he wanted this very badly and was
willing to work hard at it. They stood up and Obi-Wan led the
way into the main bedroom.
Stretched out next to each other on the oversized bed, Obi-Wan
had Qui- Gon lie face down so he could begin by running his
hands through the Master's hair and massaging his neck,
shoulders and upper back until he felt the initial tension
begin to dissolve. When Qui-Gon was relaxed enough to turn over
and seek him out, they began to kiss again, slow, lingering
kisses, deeper and deeper as they began to get comfortable with
each other once more. Hands began to roam with more assurance,
moving from face to neck, down arms and sides and across
bellies. For a long time they simply continued to kiss and pet
until Obi-Wan was satisfied with the deepening hum of
contentment he could feel building across their bond. When
Qui-Gon seized one of his hands and began to kiss and nibble on
his fingers, Obi-Wan began kissing and licking his way down the
big man's neck, pausing once more to suck deeply where the
pulsing blood ran just below the surface of the skin. Licking
briefly at the passion mark, he grazed across the broad
shoulders, once more paying special homage to the many scars
that marked the pale skin as he worked his way toward the
nipples that were already tightening in anticipation.
Flat on his back, Qui-Gon let Obi-Wan take the lead, contenting
himself with running his hands over whatever skin he could
reach on his lover, occasionally pausing to run his hands
through his lover's hair. Holding himself up with one arm on
each side of Qui-Gon's upper body, Obi-Wan kissed his way down
the well-muscled chest, pouncing upon one nipple with a mock
growl and ferocious nip, causing a gasp from above. He worked
the nipple, alternately sucking and nipping, until it was hard
and red. Qui-Gon's long arms enabled him to easily reach his
lover's nipples and he began to twist and massage each in turn
as Obi- Wan kissed his way across the soft skin to the Master's
second nipple, seizing it in his teeth at the same time he
twisted hard on the other previously sensitized nipple. This
move elicited not only a sharp gasp but a surge in their Force
bond which caused his rapidly hardening cock to jump and
twitch. He finished his attentions to the nipple, then began to
cautiously lick and kiss the flat belly, causing a ripple of
muscles as he alternated feather light licks and hard, sucking
kisses, then blowing gently on the wet flesh. When he reached
the navel he swirled his tongue around and inside it as he
moved one hand over to massage the flesh just above the top of
the leggings. Feeling a sudden tension in the stomach muscles
and a flash of quickly damped apprehension across the bond as
he touched the leggings, he changed directions, urging his
lover to lie on his side, then began kissing and caressing his
way up one side of the back towards the shoulder. The tension
eased again as he used one hand to caress the broad back in
soothing circles while he kissed the base of the neck. He moved
over slightly and bit down hard on the top of the shoulder as
he moved the sweeping caress lower on the back. Quickly
soothing the bite with licks and kisses, he moved over and
delicately nibbled on the sensitive ear lobe, sending electric
spikes over the bond and down to his cock. Qui-Gon turned his
head up to the side in a mute plea and Obi-Wan obliged by
capturing the mouth for a searing kiss, tongue delving deep and
thoroughly exploring the hot cavity. As they kissed, Obi-Wan
moved his hand just under the edge of the leggings at the base
of the spine to slowly caress the soft skin at the top of the
buttocks.
Pulling back from the kiss, Obi-Wan sucked on Qui-Gon's lower
lip as he tried to gauge the man's readiness to move further.
By now the bond was humming with tension, but it was a good
tension which reflected the heightening physical stimulation.
Qui-Gon opened his eyes, then reached up to trace one finger up
the side of Obi-Wan's face and across the eyebrow raised in
silent query.
// Yes, my love //
// Are you sure? I won't do anything to hurt you //
// I trust you. Please, it's time //
Pushing Qui-Gon over so he was face down again, Obi-Wan kissed
his way down the long spine, pausing at the base to gently nip
and lick as he carefully eased the leggings down to expose the
top of the cleft in the buttocks. Sensing only minor
discomfort, he slid his hands further down to massage the skin
at the points of the hips as he nuzzled the cleft. Nudging his
partner to lift his hips, Obi-Wan slid the coverings down the
long legs and off, dropping them off the side of the bed. He
moved back to massage and kiss each firm buttock, licking
across the line at the base of each as he caressed the long
flanks.
// all right? //
// mmm, feels good //
Taking that as agreement, Obi-Wan proceeded to kiss, lick and
caress downward on the right leg. Finding a particularly
sensitive spot behind the knee, he spent extra time nipping and
licking, causing some wiggling and squirming, before moving
down. Reaching the right foot, he lifted the foot and gently
massaged the bottom as he sucked on each toe in turn. After
repeating the process on the left foot, he worked back up the
left leg, ending up at the buttocks again. Sliding back up to
stretch out next to his lover, he ran a hand through the long
hair as Qui-Gon, now flushed and breathing heavily, turned up
on his side so they faced each other. The bond now thrummed, a
constant undercurrent of energy which tingled the nerves. With
Qui-Gon turned on his side, Obi-Wan could see that the big man
now sported a truly impressive erection.
"How are you doing?"
"Good. You've been very patient. Thank you."
"You ready to move on? I don't want to go too fast ..."
In answer, Qui-Gon licked his lips, then, tongue sticking out
in concentration, he reached over to grasp Obi-Wan's hand and
place it on his cock. Inhaling sharply and shuddering as the
contact was made, he simply held Obi's hand in place for a long
moment before nodding and taking his own hand off. The Knight
gently stroked the long cock as Qui-Gon gathered him in for
another long kiss. Obi-Wan felt a surge in the bond as Qui-Gon
seemed to gain confidence and began to take the initiative.
The Master pressed the kiss aggressively, tongues pressing
wetly together, as he slowly pushed the younger man over onto
his back. Finally coming up for air, he showered kisses over
his lover's face as his free hand caressed the younger man's
shoulder. Another long kiss, deep and hard, then a light kiss
to the nose before moving to nibble on the Knight's ear.
Nipping at the base of his neck, Qui-Gon left several red marks
before moving down to suckle hungrily, alternating between the
two hard nipples. Skimming a feathery touch down Obi-Wan's
side, the Master found a particularly sensitive spot across the
base of the ribs and worked it unmercifully until the Knight
lay helpless, gasping for breath as Qui-Gon sat up with a huge
grin.
Qui-Gon's grin turned to a thoughtful smile as his gaze swept
up and down the flushed and sweating body lying spread across
his bed.
// You are so beautiful, my love //
// Not half so beautiful as how I see you //
// I want to see you, touch you //
Obi-Wan felt a flush of apprehension and desire across the bond
as Qui- Gon tentatively reached for the waistband of Obi-Wan's
leggings.
// You don't have to //
// I need to //
Looking up at Obi-Wan for permission, Qui-Gon grasped the top
edge of the leggings and very slowly began drawing them
downward as the young man raised his hips. Having disposed of
the coverings, Qui-Gon knelt next to Obi-Wan's hips, panting
and trembling as he eyed the hard cock curving up over the
man's belly. The Knight sent love and reassurance over the taut
bond. With sudden determination, Qui-Gon reached out and firmly
grasped the weeping phallus, stroking it carefully.
// oh! ... that's ... really nice ... //
Obi-Wan moaned // nice is an understatement! //
For quite a while, Qui-Gon continued to stroke and fondle,
adding a second hand to gently roll and squeeze the balls as
Obi-Wan continued a low moan.
// Obi-Wan //
// mm? //
// You know, there is something I've wanted to do with you for
a long time //
// mm-hmm? //
Qui-Gon stopped stroking and looked up at Obi-Wan. "Are you
listening to me?"
Noticing the sudden loss of delectable friction, Obi-Wan
groaned in frustration and laboriously levered himself up onto
one elbow. "Yes, Master."
Qui-Gon bopped him lightly on the end of his cock. "I'm
serious, I have a request."
"And that's a serious hardon you are seriously neglecting..."
"Please, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan ducked his head and sent an image of a repentant
Padawan over the bond. "Sorry. It's just that you were starting
to get really good there. What can I do for you, my
love?"
Qui-Gon closed his eyes and sent a long-cherished image over
the bond.
Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "Oh Force! When you decide to get rid
of a hangup in your head, you do it in style. Are you sure
you're ready for that?"
Qui-Gon gently ran a thumb over the leaking head of Obi-Wan's
cock and looked down at his own rock hard member. "I really
want to do this. Please."
Checking the bond, Obi-Wan could still feel a tremor of
apprehension but it was overridden by a flood of desire and
lust. He looked up and grinned, then turned on his side as
Qui-Gon twisted around so they were each lying head to groin.
Each man reached up to stroke and lick the cock in front of his
face as the bond surged and crackled. Obi-Wan swirled his
tongue around the head of Qui-Gon's cock, cleaning off the
precome and avidly exploring the slit for more as one hand
continued to fondle the heavy balls. He kissed the head and
began licking from top to root in long sweeping strokes, then
sucked each ball in turn, letting his tongue caress the silky
skin. At the same time, he could feel Qui-Gon licking and
sucking with enthusiasm, if not experience. Both men's cock's
were already very hard from the extended foreplay; Obi-Wan knew
it wouldn't take too much more for both of them to climax. He
concentrated on making the experience as pleasurable as he
could for Qui-Gon; wrapping one arm around the man's hips to
hold him in place, he sucked and nibbled at the balls again
before licking up the length of the large cock. Leaving one
hand to continue to squeeze and fondle the balls, he took the
head into his mouth again, swirling his tongue across the slit
once before drawing the length into his mouth and sucking hard.
As he felt Qui-Gon follow his lead and suck his cock into the
hot wetness of his mouth, Obi-Wan could also begin to feel the
bond bringing them closer together as the energy level
continued to build. Moving up and down on the heavy phallus,
Obi-Wan's world contracted to the cock in his mouth and the
white heat at his own groin. Both men began moving more
frantically as the pressure built ever higher. Through the
bond, Obi-Wan could feel the silk covered steel shaft in his
mouth at the same time he could feel his own cock in Qui-Gon's
hot mouth. The simultaneous sensations of the wet suction on
two thrusting cocks was rapidly driving the two men to a shared
orgasm; pulling Qui-Gon's cock as far into his throat as far as
possible, he could feel Qui-Gon's balls begin to tighten under
his fingertips. His own balls tightened in sympathetic unison
and shortly both men erupted in a convulsive explosion. Obi-Wan
felt the hot stream leave his body as a burst of fireworks and
blue fire went off behind his eyelids. Two throats eagerly
swallowed the milky seed, then tenderly milked the softening
cocks of their last offerings.
Qui-Gon pulled himself around to lie next to Obi-Wan, both men
collapsing into a sated embrace. The bond vibrated softly,
enveloping the limp bodies in a mellow glow. Obi-Wan lay in
blissful euphoria; he could feel Qui-Gon physically next to him
and also joined with him in their bond. For a long while they
simply existed in the moment as they slowly recovered their
breath and equanimity.
Eventually Obi-Wan stirred, leaning over to plant a kiss at the
base of Qui-Gon's neck and lick lazily at the salty sweat
pooled there. Qui- Gon roused and pulled the young man up for a
long slow kiss, each savoring the taste of their own essence in
the other's mouth.
// ... love you ... // Qui-Gon sent.
// always and all ways, my love //
// ... mmm, we haven't gotten to the all ways part yet ... //
// You know, for somebody that two hours ago couldn't even
touch someone else's cock, you're suddenly awfully randy //
// I'm just realizing how much I missed out on all those years.
I am immensely grateful for your help in teaching me how to
overcome that nonsense I let sit in my head all that time //
// Then it would be my honor and pleasure to continue as your
instructor, Master Jinn //
// And it would be my honor and very great pleasure to be your
student, Knight Kenobi //
Obi-Wan sensed a sudden shift of mood as Qui-Gon propped
himself up on one elbow and lay looking down at him.
"Knight Kenobi," Qui-Gon said slowly, as if tasting the sound
of each syllable.
"Yeesss, that was me the last time I looked," Obi-Wan drawled.
"Is something wrong?"
"Knight Kenobi," Qui-Gon said again slowly, eyes closed as his
free hand began to trace lazy circles on Obi's belly.
Obi-Wan waited patiently in silence, knowing that eventually
the Master would be ready to discuss whatever was bothering
him.
Five minutes later, Qui-Gon opened his eyes to look down into
his lover's blue-green orbs, his hand never ceasing its
sweeping caress.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, I love you."
"And I love you, Qui-Gon Jinn. You are the other half of my
heart and my soul."
"I want you to make a promise to me, Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Sensing that the Master had turned very serious now, Obi-Wan
replied, "of course, Qui-Gon."
"It is one thing to find the one you love, the one who
completes you and makes you whole. However, it can be far more
difficult to keep that one after you have found them. If we are
to work together and live together, then I think we will both
need to work hard at keeping that love. I can be difficult to
live with as a lover; aside from being stubborn and prideful, I
told you once that I am jealous and possessive of that which I
hold closest to my heart, and it is unfortunately all too true.
And if we are to work together, then for a long time to come it
will be as Master and Knight, and I have a tendency to let that
Master's authority and control carry over in my private life.
In our official duties we will do what is appropriate and
needful, of course, but in our private lives, when it is just
the two of us, I want us to be equal partners in this
relationship. It may take a while to really make that work
properly, but do you understand what I am trying to say?"
"Yes, I believe so. When it's just us, it is Qui-Gon and
Obi-Wan; when it's official it's Master Jinn and Knight Kenobi.
I agree that is how I would like it to be and how it should
be."
"Well, wanting it and having it can two very different things,
and I have been known to do some pretty stupid things sometimes
that have hurt people I care for. Obi-Wan Kenobi, I want you to
promise me that when I do one of those stupid things, you will
be strong enough to get the biggest stick you can find and hit
me over the head with it."
Obi-Wan grinned, "Qui-Gon, much as I might enjoy it, I can't go
around bashing senior Masters like that."
Qui-Gon captured Obi-Wan's hand and held it to his heart.
"Please, this is very important to me. You are a good man, and
I don't want you to let me get away with hurting you or
treating you with less than the respect you have earned and
deserve. Please promise me that you will be strong for both of
us, Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Listening to their bond and looking up into the
passion-darkened blue eyes, the young Knight could tell how
desperately important this was to his lover. Taking a deep
breath, he replied softly, "Qui-Gon Jinn, from my heart to your
heart, this promise is for you. I will love you as long as my
heart still beats and beyond, I will honor that love and do
nothing to dishonor it, I will be strong when you are weak, I
will lean on your strength when I am in need, I will learn from
your wisdom, I will be your partner in life to support and
defend you. On my honor as a Jedi Knight, this promise I make."
Qui-Gon released the hand he had been holding and gathered his
love into his arms. He kissed him solemnly, then whispered,
"Obi-Wan Kenobi, from my heart to your heart, this promise is
for you. I will love you as long as my heart still beats and
beyond, I will honor that love and do nothing to dishonor it, I
will be strong when you are weak, I will lean on your strength
when I am in need, I will listen when you speak, I will teach
you all that I have learned, I will be your partner in life to
support and defend you. On my honor as a Jedi Master, this
promise I make."
The two men embraced fiercely, Master and Knight, lovers and
friends. Two hearts beat as one, the gentle glow of their
combined Force power a shimmering shield to light their way.
One long kiss to seal the pact and promise many more nights to
come. Then, pulling a blanket up to cover them, they held each
other, skin to skin and heart to heart, as they drifted off to
sleep. One last thought went up into the Force ...
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