Summary : takes place shortly after TPM. Shmi's reunion with
Anakin on Coruscant ignites Obi-Wan's anxiety and jealousy.
Disclaminer : George Lucas owns everyone and everything in this
story. Can't forgive him for doing what he did to Qui-Gon on
TPM, though. This story is purely for fun and my all-consuming
love for Qui-Gon Jinn. I wrote and display this story
absolutely for free.
Feedback : my first ever attempt at writing a story in ENGLISH.
So be kind with the comments (my heart can't take much.) and
real generous with the praise. Note : "dialogue", <Obi-Wan's
thoughts >, <<mental conversation between Q/O >
>
The four of them were having dinner at Qui-Gon's spacious
quarters at the Jedi Temple.
Anakin was his usual bubbly self. Shmi was deep in conversation
with Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan listened in with apparent attention and
managed to put in an occasional laugh at strategic junctures.
The food was fabulous and the wine divine. The hospitality
droid approached to clear away the main dish and apologized
that owing to a malfunctioning photon oven, the desert was
going to take a while.
" Well, just as well, I'd say now would be a nice time to see
the famed night scene of Coruscant from my humble balcony. What
do you say, Shmi?" Qui-Gon extended his hand without even
waiting for a reply.
" I'd love to." Shmi rose and took Qui-Gon's hand.
" I want to go, too." shrieked Anakin.
" Sure, come along, little one" The big Jedi Master said in a
fatherly tone.
" You coming, Padawan?"
" No thanks, master, you go ahead. All that great food made me
rather heavylegged." Obi-Wan said with half of a smirk on his
face.
No sooner had the three turned around and headed for the
balcony did Obi-Wan breath a huge sigh of relief and allow his
mental shield to drop into a tired heap. Hitherto buried
weariness now written all over his face.
Obi-Wan was miserable. Depression weighed heavily on his
shoulders.
Worse still, he felt that he had no right to be in such a
wretched mood.
Not because of the fact that he was having a supposedly jovial
dinner with Anakin, Shmi and Qui-Gon.
Nor because of his virtually assured Knighthood, which was due
to be conferred upon him in a couple of months ---- the Naboo
victory and the bonus points it clinched him had made his trial
to knighthood all but a mere formality.
He had no right to be sulking because of what happened six
weeks ago.
There and then, on the Planet of Naboo, he had a close brush
with death and escaped. Well, he didn't , Qui-Gon did. But to
Obi-Wan, it was the same thing.
Involuntarily, memory of that terrifying moment washed over
him............
He was trapped behind the laser wall. His master was locked in
a lethal light sabre dance with the Sith Lord. They were at the
end zone of the battle. Someone had to give. Then it all
happened so fast. The Sith Lord caught Qui-Gon in a venomous
sabre slash. Qui-Gon parried and ducked only to be elbowed in
the face. The Jedi Master missed a step, the Sith brought his
sabre downward and pierced Qui-Gon's left chest.
"Nooooo!", Obi-Wan screamed and his world went instantly
dark.....before Qui-Gon put the light back on.
The finest swordsman among the Jedi, Qui-Gon, though terribly
wounded, managed to garner the Force and kept the Sith's sabre
trapped on his chest a fraction longer than the Sith had
intended. It's the Sith's turn to miss a step. Biting back
excruciating pain, Qui-Gon stepped in with a fluid single
handed sabre stroke. The Sith's entire right shoulder came off
his body. His light sabre went dead and fell to the floor,
leaving a singed gaping hole on the Jedi Master's chest. Both
Qui-Gon and the Sith collapsed to the ground, each immobilized
with severe injury.
The laser wall came down at that point. Obi-Wan dashed in and
completed his master's unfinished job. When he had been done,
the Sith was in four pieces. Obi-Wan had been so consumed with
rage and hate that he had both cut the Sith Lord in half and
beheaded him. " How dare you do that to him, to us!" He
screamed uncontrollably while delivering the coup'de grace to
the half dead Sith.
Qui-Gon was rushed to the healers. A week in intensive care
patched him up sufficiently for the trip back to Coruscant
where the Jedi Master underwent a 10 hour operation to have his
left lung completely rebuilt. Obi-Wan had vehemently refused to
leave his master's side the whole time. He even shoved a Naboo
healer to the wall with the Force for attempting to remove him
from the ICU. When Qui-Gon came to after the surgery, Obi-Wan
broke down and sobbed with utter relief and exhaustion. He just
cried and cried on his Master's broad chest, all of a sudden
unable to hold in weeks of sheer terror, anxiety, fear, fatigue
and finally boundless joy. Qui-Gon let him cry without saying a
word, his large hand gently stroking his Padawan's hair, which
had grown long and disheveled because of weeks of neglect.
And then the powerful Jedi Master healed and recovered
speedily. Things had gone back to normal.
Except for Obi-Wan's mind.
For his had been one that was made up. The Naboo incident
scared the sith hell out of him. He realized time could play
cruel tricks on him when it came to securing someone dearest to
his heart. He had to let his master know and force the issue,
much sooner than planned.
He had been in love with his master for the Force knew how
long. Totally smitten and hopelessly head over heels, Obi-Wan
worshipped Qui-Gon. They had always been extremely close and
had been taken to be affectionate and expressive around each
other as master and padawan. Their unusually close bond had
long been a constant talk of envy among the Jedi. As for
romance, Obi-Wan wasn't sure yet Qui-Gon loved him back that
way. But his close mental link with Qui-Gon enabled him to pick
up stirrings at his master's end every now and then. In any
case, there was only one way to find out. Knowing that the
Council disliked Master\Padawan love affairs, Obi-Wan had
planned on confronting Qui-Gon with his feelings after his
ascension to Knighthood.
What happened on Naboo changed all that.
Spurred on by a sense of urgency, Obi-Wan couldn't wait, hardly
days, not weeks, let alone months. Everyday gone by was one
lost to the possible union between him and his master, the only
chance at happiness and fulfillment known to him.
He was going to do it the same day Qui-Gon was to be released
from the healers to his own quarters. Obi-Wan had a warm
homecoming dinner all planned out, which he hoped, with the
help of the Force, would make a nice occasion to lay bare his
love for his master.
`But as the Force would have it, two days before Qui-Gon was to
be released, Obi-Wan had been called urgently to escort an
Endorian diplomat on a tour of the Republic's Galactic Fleet
anchorage around the nearby moon of Shanchazka. That was to
take a week. And two days before his return to Coruscant, an
urgent transmission from Qui-Gon told him that on the Council's
order, his master was to leave for Tatooine at once to pick up
Shmi for a reunion with her son Anakin, now that the Council
had approved the training of the Force rich child.
So Obi-Wan had to miss his master for another week fuming and
fretting over his missed opportunity and Qui-Gon's suspect
physical state in face of the arduous journey to the
unforgiving world of Tatooine. Qui-Gon's repeated assurance and
glowing vitality and spirit over the comlink did little to
allay Obi-Wan's worries.
Another thing gnawing at the back of his mind was the name
"Shmi"
He had never met Shmi in person. With his own recuperation and
their separation, Qui-Gon hadn't come around to talking to him
about the woman. Obi-Wan did pick up bits and pieces about Shmi
from Anakin. But those were fleeting half impressions compared
to a remark Jar Jar Binks gave on the Royal Naboo starship on
its way from Tatooine to Coruscant. Then, Jar Jar said Shmi was
very fond of Qui-Gon and suggested that the two of them could
make a lovely pair. Obi-Wan had wanted to claw Jar Jar's stupid
eyes out on the spot and ram them down his throat to shut him
up. The bile of jealousy had tasted foul.
At the end of the week, Obi-Wan found himself at the spaceport
to pick up the trio of Qui-Gon, Shmi and Anakin.
At least he would be truly delighted to see two out of the
three. Especially Qui-Gon, whom he missed terribly. Obi-Wan had
mused as the arrival of the flight was announced. But he was
soon proven wrong.
What he greeted was an Anakin carried high on the shoulder of
Qui-Gon with Shmi close by the Jedi Master's side, almost
touching him. He caught with a swift glance his master's hand
resting lightly on Shmi's waist. All three of them beaming with
the widest possible grin. The sight burned through Obi-Wan's
retinas and tattooed to his consciousness. Jar Jar's words of a
lovely couple exploded into his mind, only this time, the word
"family" took the place of "pair".
Obi-Wan felt a dull hit on his chest, his breath became
constricted. The smile on his face decayed into a ghastly grin
as he struggled to raise a hasty mental shield and went ahead
bravely to greet the three of them ....................
" Oh, that nightscene was breathtaking. Just millions and
millions of lights. Obi-Wan, you've missed a lot. But then you
get to see it almost everynight, don't you?" Shmi's exclamation
jolted Obi-Wan out of the memory lane as she strolled from the
balcony.
" Yes, it's fantastic, isn't it? Especially if it's the first
time you see it. You are right, I get to see it as often as I
want. It kind of grows old after a while." Obi-Wan replied
matter- of -factly.
"Has the food finished settling in you stomach, Padawan?"
Qui-Gon chimed in with amusement as he returned to the table
with the other two.
" Yes master, I am fine. All ready for desert." Obi-Wan replied
as cheerfully as he could.
<There it goes again, shields up, smile deployed and be a
good sport til this blasted dinner comes to an end > Obi-Wan
thought resignedly before clamping his shield down once more.
Up to the dinner, Shmi and Anakin had been on Coruscant for two
days already. Qui-Gon had been with them most of the time
showing them around. Obi-Wan was in constant attendance, too,
grateful that his usual way of being by his master's side in
everything they did created a perfect excuse for him to tag
along and observe Shmi and Qui-Gon from close quarter.
Especially when they were around each other.
He found himself taking in as much information as possible just
so he could size up his potential rival for his master's
affection.
<She is one classy lady. That much I have to hand it to her.
> Obi-Wan thought wryly behind his shields as desert was
served around the table.
Shmi was quiet, unassuming, even bordering on being shy at
times. But you could also sense serenity, peace, warmth and
kindness from her. She might have hailed from a backward desert
planet, but she displayed no provinciality. The sophistication
and immense prosperity of Coruscant hadn't overwhelmed her. One
got the feeling that Shmi was contented with what she had and
harboured no greed or envy. That's class considering the harsh
and deprived life that she had had. She was obviously very
devoted to Anakin and had brought him up to be a healthy, well
adjusted kid inspite of their slavery status. And she made no
attempt whatsoever to capitalise on Anakin's new found favour
with the Jedi Council. She just quietly entrusted her son to
the Jedi wishing that she had done the best thing for Anakin.
<And she's pretty, too. > Obi-Wan conceded while scooping
a spoonful of baked shiratama into his mouth.
Obi-Wan didn't consider himself a good judge of "pretty" in
women as he had always been attracted to men, or one man, to be
exact. But Shmi's beauty was the classic kind. Firm breasts,
slim waist, long legs cut a highly feminine figure. Years of
hard labour and crude staple diet saw to that. Her face was
marred by quite a few lines and her skin was not exactly smooth
as silk due, no doubt, to her age and the Tattooine sun. But
her handsome features still held. Large almond shaped eyes,
small but erect nose and thin lips rested in good proportion on
a slightly angular face with high cheek bones. And her smile,
how much warmth and peace could a person's smile radiate?
Obi-Wan believed Shmi currently held the galaxy champion in
that category.
<Great, classy and pretty, I just hope she isn't master's
type. But master definitely is her type. That much I am sure.
> Obi-Wan squinted his eyes subconciously as that thought
came to him.
It would take observant eyes to pick out all those minute signs
and nuances. But Obi-Wan had been more than observant the past
two days. His prying eyes followed Shmi and his master like a
proton torpedo locked on to its target.
It's the way she looked at Qui-Gon. The admiration, adoration,
respect, gratitude and infatuation all in boundless proportions
rolled into one misty look. And she looked at Qui-Gon a lot
even when Qui-Gon wasn't talking to her or nearby. She lost
much of her shyness around Qui-Gon and giggled freely whenever
Qui-Gon said something remotely humourous. And then there were
the touchings. For a reserved person, Shmi was taken to
touching Qui-Gon rather frequently. Those were not tarty or
flirtatious touches, Shmi meant no seduction with those.
Straightening Qui-Gon's robe, a light pat on Qui-Gon's chest
for a funny remark from the Jedi master, walking closely to
Qui-Gon so that their arms touched, that's all. They were
allowed within the limits of social decorum but they were,
nevertheless, unmistakeable signs of physical attraction. Shmi
just longed for physical closeness with the hero she pinned
after.
<She has a crush on master, no question about that. Finally,
we have something in common. I can't blame her, how can any
woman not moon after master. > Obi-Wan stole a glance at his
beloved master across the table. He drank in the sight that
gave him heartache and tried to see Qui-Gon for the man he was
all over again, this time through the eyes of Shmi.
What he saw made him suck in his breath. <Indeed, poor Shmi
doesn't stand a chance. What a galactic hunk of a man master
is. Six foot four, broad shouldered, muscular chest and sexy
long legs, flat stomach, that regal beard and mane, the blue
soulful eyes, the handsome features, the strong jaws, the deep
manly voice, the athletic grace he moves with, the dashing
figure he cut in a formal Jedi garb, the calm and serenity, the
courage, the kindness, the gentle manners, the wisdom, the dry
sense of humour, the fatherly chuckle, the unbendable sense of
justice and integrity..........and the darnest thing is, he
either is not aware of his sexual impact on the others or he
thinks nothing of it, which, of course, makes him twice as
irresistible. None of us stands a chance in face of a mangod
like Qui-Gon. > Obi-Wan felt a little sorry both for himself
and Shmi and the countless hearts that his master must have had
unwittingly broken over the years.
<Why didn't I just say it to him in the hospital? Hearing me
declaring my love for him when he's still in his hospital robe
would have been frightfully unromantic but at least, that way,
I would have beaten Shmi to it. > Obi-Wan felt like kicking
himself all over again.
" Padawan, PADAWAN! Shmi and Anakin would like to call it a
day. They said good night to you." Qui-Gon spoke with a tad of
irritation.
<<You've not been yourself, Padawan. You have been on the
far side of the Galaxy the whole evening. We need to talk. Why
don't you join me at the balcony after they turn in > >
Qui-Gon opened a mental link to Obi-Wan and gave the silent
order.
"I.....I'm so sorry. I guess I am a little tired. Good night,
Shmi and Anakin. You guys have been wonderful company. I
apologize for not being my usual chirping self." Obi-Wan
laughed dryly at his own lame joke and watched with relief as
Qui-Gon escorted Shmi and Anakin to the guest chamber.
<<Yes, master. > >
The night was still young on Coruscant. A cool gentle breeze
caressed the balcony. Obi-Wan stood there facing the millions
of lights with glassy eyes. He dreaded the upcoming talk with
his master. He didn't know what to say, how much to say. He
wasn't sure his master had fancied Shmi but they'd been awfully
close the last two days. And Qui-Gon had not averted any of the
small half overtures that Shmi had left in her wake. He let her
get close to him, touch him. He apparently enjoyed her
giggling. Even if all this was trivial, there's always that
"family" portrait Obi-Wan caught at the spaceport. The three of
them looked so good and so right together, like a happy family,
so complete and warm, something Obi-Wan could never provide his
master with even if Qui-Gon were to return his love. His master
had given so much to the Republic, he deserved a family, if not
with Shmi, then with some other women who could bear him
children and make the family whole.
Obi-Wan's emotions were in turmoil. If only he knew what his
master felt. But a mental probe would have been gross rudeness
and bad taste, not to mention sheer disrespect.
Obi-Wan felt unbelievably sad and alone as he heard his master
came out to the balcony..
" It was Shmi, wasn't it? Padawan. " Qui-Gon said gently.
"What? Master....I....why?" caught by the pinpoint accuracy of
his master's probe, Obi-Wan was at a loss for words.
" Padawan, you may have raised an impenetrable shield, but
there are other ways to get to one's inner thoughts. You could
always work from the outside ---- body language. You were so
busy bracing up that shield of yours, you didn't always
remember to bury your trail left by your look, you words, your
behaviour around people. You were on guard with Shmi. That much
I'm sure. Does she upset you in any way?" Qui-Gon said.
Obi-Wan felt backed up to a corner. Qui-Gon as usual had found
a way to be on to him again. There's just no cheating around
his clever master. But two could play the same game. The backed
up turned into the backing up.
" Master, I..... I would like to know what your feelings are
for Shmi..." Obi-Wan paused to draw a bigger breath for the
following words.
" Shmi's my......" Qui-Gon thought his padawan was done.
" No, master, let me finish. If I don't say it now, I don't
know whether I'll ever be able to say it out loud again. I
would like to know what your feelings are for Shmi because.....
because I want to know where I stand." Bracing against the
Force, Obi-Wan managed a level voice when the words came out.
Qui-Gon stared at Obi-Wan when the words sank in.
He knew he had to deal with Obi-Wan's feelings sooner or later.
He had not been too worried about them. He knew about Obi-Wan's
love for him and had been glad about it because he reciprocated
it. He had planned to make things happen after Obi-Wan became a
full knight just so he wouldn't have to cross the Council any
more than he already had. But thanks to Shmi, things had come
to a head.
"My padawan, there's no need for jealousy. Shmi's just a good
friend." Qui-Gon paused before going on "You hold a place in my
heart no one can ever replace. " Qui-Gon's deep voice rang with
love and warmth.
And before Obi-Wan could think those words didn't necessarily
mean love as he wanted it, Qui-Gon added " and I love you,
too." The words were so rich in emotions that any lingering
doubt Obi-Wan had was instantly removed.
Obi-Wan went limp with unutterable joy and relief. Years of
pinning, suspense and anxiety finally led to this unbelievable
bliss. Everything had been justified in the end. How he felt
now was not unlike the immense relief that flooded over him
when Qui-Gon came to after the dangerous surgery. And it
produced similar results. Tears welled up in his green eyes and
he began a silent sob.
Qui-Gon stepped forward and embraced him. Obi-Wan found himself
crying and crying on his master's broad chest a second time in
weeks.
After the last drop of tears was shed, Obi-Wan felt cleansed.
Still in his master's arms, Obi-Wan looked up into the blue
soulful eyes of his master and instantly realized how much he
was loved. Qui-Gon lowered his head and planted a gentle kiss
on his padawan's lips. Obi-Wan opened up and took his master
in, the tickling from his beard, his musky manly smell, the
sensuous lips, the probing tongue. Obi-Wan was lost in his
master's sheer masculinity. When they were done, Obi-Wan was
boneless. If a kiss from his master could do that to him, what
would ..........
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