Archive: If you want to anywhere but M_A ask first tho.
Category: Humor, Plot-What-Plot
Rating: R for run, run fast
Summary: It has all of the Lines you won't see in a Q/O
slashfic
Feedback: Be nice to me, it's all the dark plot bunnys fault!!
Notes: Mac this is all your fault, despite what I said. A tank
you to
Mama Deb for betaing tis story.
The little twerp, Qui-Gon thought to himself. All the
baring my soul, and this is what I get!
Qui-Gon mimicked Ob-Wan's latest whine.
"Oh, Master, not tonight I have a headache," I would have a
headache, too, if I whined that much, Qui-Gon thought
irritatedly.
Every night Obi-Wan had a different excuse, and Qui-Gon was
unwilling to push the issue, but this was getting ridiculous.
First Obi-Wan had said he was afraid of anal sex, even though,
according to Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's penis was quite wimpy. He
didn't think he was that badly off, it was just that Obi-Wan
was hung like a horse. Then, when he suggested alternatives
Obi-Wan expressed his disgust at performing blow-jobs, and his
opinion on rimming was even worse.
So Qui-Gon wound up doing all the work and Obi-Wan rolled over
and went to sleep. It was so hard to belive that a man Obi's
age could only get it up once a night!
There had been a long string of other excuses, too. They were
out of lube, or Obi was too tierd, and then somehow Obi's boots
got superglued on, and on and on and on.
So tonight Qui-Gon was going to call a end to the excuses when
Obi-Wan came home.
Qui-Gon heard the door open and looked up to see Obi-Wan
standing in the doorway. When he started to speak, Obi-Wan
stopped him. "Master, face it. I'm not going to Soul Bond with
you. My work as a Padawan is too important for that. Also your
beard is giving me a rash, and I hate your hair. Oh, you're
also way too old for me. To tell you the truth, I actually
prefer women and am getting married to Bant, so I'll see you
later." With that Obi-Wan walked out the door, leaving a
stunned Qui-Gon behind. Qui-Gon sighed and called Mace up.
"He's not the one for you, is he?" Mace asked when he saw who
was calling.
"Yes, Mace, you're right. He's not the one." Qui-Gon gave Mace
a hopeful look, "So will you take me back?"
Qui-Gon blinked in surprise as he was left with fading laughter
and a blank screen.
He heard his door open and turned hopefully, only to see Master
Yoda standing in the doorway.
"Ummm, Master, is that a lightsaber in your pants or are you
just glad to see me?" Qui-Gon squeaked hoping against all hope
it was a lightsaber.
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