Category: Humor
Rating: PG
Warnings: Er, um... its squicky from a certain point of
view.
Archive: If you want it, take it
Summery: An answer to Glass Houses first line challenge: 'He
was a big man, and it was a small crack.'
He was a big man, and it was a small crack, but that didn't
stop Qui-Gon from plunging on ahead into the beckoning opening.
"Master, you're too big! You won't fit!" Obi-Wan said. "What if
you won't be able to pull it back out! It could be stuck in
there for a very long time."
"Have faith Padawan. The force will guide me."
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. His master was going to get himself
stuck.
"Shift your leg a bit.
"Ouch!" Obi-Wan could feel his flesh stretching.
"Wider. That's good." With a grunt and a push, Qui-Gon forced
his appendage all the way in. "There. That wasn't so bad, now
was it?"
"You can say that because you're not the one doing the splits.
Ugh, your armpit is in my face."
"Sorry." Qui-Gon shifted a bit. "Better?"
"Yeah. Too bad we don't have any lubricant."
"Maybe that brown stuff will work."
"Ew! That stuff stinks."
"Well, it is slimy," Qui-Gon argued. "It should slick things
up a bit."
"But I'll never get the smell out!"
"Very well." Admitting to defeat, Qui-Gon continued with his
task. "This pipe needs to be cleaned out. That could lead to
poor drainage."
"Who cares about the pipe!" Obi-Wan's patience was running
thin. "What do you feel in there?"
"Nothing yet. Twist a bit. More." It was hard to move, but
somehow, Obi-Wan managed.
"Well?"
"Hmm, looks like its snagged on something crusty. Hold on...
Got it!" Qui-Gon smiled triumphantly. "Okay, let me pull out."
Qui-Gon's triumphant smile morphed into an expression of
horror. He couldn't pull out. He was stuck. Of all places to
get stuck, why did he have to get his arm stuck in an old
storm-drain?
"Did the Force lead you astray, Master?" Obi-Wan smirked as he
pulled his foot free. He burst into peals of laughter,
delighted at this turn of events. "Maybe we could lube your arm
up with that brown-algae slime. It'll slick things right up."
They had been walking through one of Coruscant's lower
districts. Obi-Wan hadn't been watching his step. He didn't see
the crack in the grating covering the storm-drain until too
late. The Young man's foot got caught on something. Qui-Gon
threaded his arm through a second crack in an attempt to free
his apprentice. In order to do this, Qui-Gon had to lay down on
the sidewalk, and Obi-Wan had to stretch his free leg up and
out.
Qui-Gon glared at his student. It was funny when his Padawan
got his foot caught. But now that he was stuck it wasn't funny
anymore.
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