Rating: PG for suggested relationship, Angst, POV, AU
Spoilers: Yes - big time TPM spoilers
Archive: Master & Apprentice, The Nesting Place, OKEB,
QGEB, SWA-L
Feedback - Yes please, it's my version of the Force!
Disclaimer: Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon belong to the Force that is
George Lucas - he of the incredible luck and multi-million
dollars. My no have none of that!
**********
Chocolate Obi-Wans and Qui-Gons covered in whipped cream to
Chris, Holly & Heather - my goddesses of beta.
This is the second "prequel" to my version of Worship's memory
challenge - enjoy!
We talked briefly as we waited for Jar Jar to return. Little
was said, but I could feel him or should I say I couldn't feel
him - he was still shutting me out. He was still isolating
himself from me. I had avoided him most of the flight back to
Naboo, choosing to spend my time in meditation or in the
cockpit with Panaka and Ollie. He spent his time with Anakin.
The wounds still cut deep. Healing would be a long time in
coming. So I stayed away, shut him out. Except for those few
minutes where both Jedi were required to attend an audience
with the Queen.
She looked at me as I walked in behind my soon-not-to-be
Master, as if to say "I see your pain and I am sorry for it.
Neither of us has asked for what destiny has given us. But we
must be strong, I for my people and you for yourself. We will
survive." In a strange way it was that look which gave me the
strength to approach Qui-Gon and try to put this behind us.
I still kept my shields up, still hid my shattered heart but I
smiled and I thanked him for believing in me. He said I
was ready, that he foresaw I would be a great Jedi
Knight, that I was a wiser man than he. If Qui-Gon believed in
me I would do as he wished. I will take my trials when this is
over, and I will request an assignment as far away from
Coruscant - and him - as I can. I will heal - eventually.
Perhaps life-bonds are not meant to last forever...
It all happened so fast - the meeting of the resistance and the
Gungans, sneaking into the city and finding a way into the
hanger. Then he was there, the Sith. A sense of serenity
settled over my mind even as cockiness entered the swing of my
hips, and added spring to my step. I knew without knowing. I
smiled enticingly as I shrugged out of my robe, not even
looking at Qui-Gon but aware our every movement was
synchronous, in perfect harmony. The Sith looked at me, puzzled
a moment I think. After all - how could I smile when I was
going to face my death? He did not understand. A solution had
presented itself. I did not have to stand by as my Master, my
life-bonded, left me; I could take my fate into my own hands
and find peace my own way. There would be no more pain once I
was one with the Force. A cowards way out? Perhaps. But it gave
me the calmness and the clarity I needed to fight.
We fought hard, Qui-Gon and I delivering lightening fast blows.
There is a freedom that comes when you expect to die. I was
ready to meet my fate, to be embraced by the Force. Then I fell
and Qui-Gon went on ahead, not waiting for me as he would in
the past. Why did he do that, I will never know. I tried to
catch up and nearly did, but then the force-field locks cycled
and we were each trapped in our own compartment. Qui-Gon tried
to meditate, the Sith seethed and raged. I... I waited.
Once more I was not fast enough, once more I was trapped as I
watched my Master, my life-bonded fight without me. I watched
his movements, usually graceful and perfect, become mechanical
and sloppy. He was tiring. I willed the shield cycle to hurry
but...
"Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Qui-Gon, my love - my life. It would not end like this - I
swore it by the Force that was within me. The rage boiled and
ate at me, filling the empty, shredded places. It gave me the
strength to survive the Sith, to make sure Qui-Gon was avenged.
I could no longer take the coward's way out. I had to ensure my
beloved's survival. I fought, hardly perceiving my movements
and motions. The blow to my head didn't even faze me, although
it was powerful enough to make my vision dim for a moment and
my ears ring. That was how I was pushed into the pit by a pulse
of the Force and my Saber lost. That did not stop me. The Force
encompassed me now; I was one with the living Force as I had
never been. I found the strength, reached for Qui-Gon's saber
and... the Sith fell, defeated.
Rushing to his side, I cradled him in my arms. 'No! Don't let
this happen!!' I howled in mental agony.
"It's too late for me Obi-Wan. It's too late."
"No - Master"
"The boy - you must train him. He is the chosen one."
With a brush of my cheek you left me. I felt the heart that
beat for both of us slow and fade.
'NO!' Tears dripped down my face, blood-red tears as the head
wound finally made itself known to me. I didn't care.
'Then choose young Padawan.' My head shot up. Around me I could
feel them gathering, those that had gone before us into the
force, the ancestors. 'Your pain is known to us, we feel it. We
give you the option. Now - choose.'
What choice was there? The answer was obvious, at least to me.
'Let him live I beg you, I ask nothing for myself, no mercy no
joining with the Force - he is needed, I am not. He is
my heart.'
'So be it - the choice is made.' The energies that were the
ancestors swirled chaotically around me. I felt them enter me
and I felt all that I was, pour into my Master, my love and
life-bonded. And I watched as his chest rose, and fell and rose
again. The wound closed and faded. His eyes flickered.
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