Bonds of the Jedi

by FireCracker (KLee624820@aol.com)

Pairing Q/O

A/U - Continuation from FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BED.

Obi-Wan saves Kay'bee.

Sometimes it was still too much. In quiet times Kay'bee disliked being alone. He preferred the sounds of others.

Rather than the voices.

They often came to him without warning. Once when he was eleven, the voices told him to go swimming during the middle of a class. He abruptly left during recess and went to the gym pool. Three days later he awoke in the medical ward in a respirator. The other padawans often called him wildeye, taunting and teasing him when he couldn't remember, couldn't control. Xavier was his only true friend. They had been through a lot together during their days at the academy. Sometimes Kay'bee felt as if Xavier were his only link to sanity.

Sanity. he mocked. A tenuous thing, at best.

It angered him at what the others took for granted. But his Master treated him no differently according to Jedi dictates, and he was stronger as an adult because of it. Or so he thought.

He attempted to meditate in his bedroom, assuming the lotus position. Mantra level five. Situations and flux of events. My actions.

Fool. Do you think that will work? It never does.

/I won't listen to this. Not this time./

Why not? You're crazy, everyone knows it. A screwball.

/I have...an affliction. It is not insanity./

Yeah? How sane is it to attempt to drown yourself, huh? Remember the times you would lay on the floor during classes and scream? What was up with that? They hadda tranquilize you, put you away...

/Shut up./

Not to mention all the times you couldn't remember what you had done. Selective memory, don't you think? Maybe something else is wrong...

/Liar!/

'Course, you're so sensitive to the force. Hearing and feeling everything at once. At the creche you would strip down in public and run naked outside the temple. What an embarrassment you must have been to Turrell! Stuck with a loony...

"NO!!" Kay'bee shouted, holding his head.

"Kay'bee?"

He looked up slowly. Turrell watched him worriedly. "I would speak with you about your treatment schedule."

He stood. "It is no relapse, Master. I...had a momentary distraction from my meditations."

"Be still" she stepped forward, touching his forehead. He winced slightly.

Her frown deepened. "Are you attending all the sessions? The truth, padawan."

He eyed her steadily. "I may have missed a couple of sessions, but only because there was a scheduling conflict with my classes."

Turrell sighed. She knew how much Kay'bee enjoyed teaching the children.

"Kay'bee. There is no middle ground here. Your treatment must be implemented in it's entirety in order for it to work."

"Don't you think I know that!" he yelled, gold eyes flashing. "What difference does it make, anyway. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. I'm sick of being everyone's experiment!"

She glared at him sternly. "Your outburst shows your lack of control. What next?"

He stood mortified. She pressed on.

"I am disappointed that you are not adhering to your schedule. Don't force my hand here, padawan. I care about thee."

Kay'bee looked down. "I know" his voice was low. "Everyone cares, nobody loves."

Turrells' deep eyes were bright. "Would you have me say it? So be it, since nothing convinces you. I love you, Kay'bee. How can you question?"

He hugged her. "I just needed to hear it."

She returned the embrace. "Anytime. I will do my part but you must do yours, my padawan."

"I won't let you down."

She held his face. "No. Don't let yourself down. Your potential must not be wasted."

He leaned against her. "It's difficult sometimes. I want to be strong, but then..."

She nodded. "Come, I will make you some tea. Consider it a mental battlefield where strategy can dictate the outcome."

"And perserverance" he added, following her down the hall.

Two hot blooded Jedi nuzzled the afternoon away, finishing their duties early and finding time to be together.

Obi-Wan licked the strong throat. "Hmm. Council session go okay?"

Qui-Gon sighed in content, mane tangled everywhere. "Oh. About as well as could be expected. As usual, there were disagreements as to how the Corridan clans are to be unified on Laos. If I didn't know better, I'd swear we were conducting the negotations among the Jedi Masters!"

Obi-Wan snickered. His hands were everywhere under the blankets. "That bad?"

"Obi!" Qui-Gon jolted as Obi-Wan squeezed a soft spot. He smiled.

"I'll say. We were the ones who needed a mediator. And to think, we aren't even off planet yet on the mission!"

Obi-Wan cuddled in, the spiky head tucked tight. "I take it there was little agreement as to method."

"Huhh. Mace thinks the clans wish to stay at war as long as fractured family branches control the wealth. Nukk believes the poor relatives want their share. And Ooreth claims that the Jedi should hold court proceedings to determine each sides' fair share."

Obi-Wan propped up on an elbow. "Sounds like a mess, all right. Money and power have certainly split families before."

Qui-Gon stroked his hair. "Exactly. This mission will require great preparation. We're scheduled to meet with one of the clan members who are filing claims against their cousins."

Obi-Wan groaned, plopping back down over Qui-Gon. "Great. Let's just hope they don't tear up the conference room. Remember those Akabites from Sug? I thought we were going to have a civil war on our hands."

Qui-Gon curled into his side. "As far as we know, Corridans aren't as prone to violence. Hopefully we can reach a compromise that everyone can live with."

The phone buzzer rung.

"Sith" Obi-Wan complained. "Always at the wrong time. I had intentions of making you dinner."

Qui-Gon grinned. "And how, padawan, does this prevent you from making dinner?"

A wicked gleam in the emerald eyes. "No. I mean, I wanted to make you dinner."

"Horny hotpot..."

The buzzer rang again. Qui-Gon slid out of bed. Obi-Wan watched in appreciation as the wide back rippled with muscle as he walked. Qui-Gon tied a towel around his waist.

He pulled the receiver from a wall pad. "Yes?"

Obi-Wan sat up, curiosity getting the better of him as Qui-Gon made a range of faces during his conversation.

"Are you certain? No, I haven't" he continued, as Obi-Wan stared.

Eventually Qui-Gon put the receiver down, brooding.

Obi-Wan couldn't take anymore. "What? What is it!"

Qui-Gon sidled back into bed. He held Obi-Wan close."That was Turrell. She's concerned about Kay'bee."

Obi-Wan swallowed nervously. "He isn't...has he done something?"

Qui-Gon paused a moment. Deep blue eyes darkened further. "I'm not certain. Turrell promised to keep me abreast of Kay'bees' condition. I thought he was improving."

"Isn't he? I thought he was getting treatment."

"Turrell states that he is not following his schedule. Kay'bee wants to teach full time and believes his treatments will interfere with his classes in the creche."

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his knees. "That's crazy. Doesn't he know he needs help!"

Qui-Gon sat up next to him. "Obi-Wan. Hear your own words. Kay'bee cannot be expected to think rationally on this."

"Maybe I should talk to him. We've been getting along lately."

"I've noticed. An amazing turnabout, and I am proud of you both."

Obi-Wan looked away. He still felt the sting of competiton.

Qui-Gon tugged his arm. "Obi-Wan. Don't think it."

Obi-Wan struggled to keep his expression neutral. "He...has a piece of your heart."

"No. I don't love him, Obi-Wan. Get it through your head already!"

Obi-Wan looked down, deep in thought. "Maybe not, but if you could've seen your face a moment ago...it was as if..."

Qui-Gon sidled close, temper flaring. "I see. So by being cold and indifferent it would prove my love for you? Is that it?"

Obi-Wan frowned, confused. His face flushed. "I...don't know for certain what I mean. I only know what I saw just now."

Qui-Gon gripped his arm. "I weary of this jealousy. Did I choose Kay'bee? Am I with him now? Enough!"

Obi-Wan spun on him, challenging. "You hold him dear! Whether you admit it or not. Do you think I can't see this?"

Qui-Gon was astonished. "What are you saying?"

"My question is, what did you say to him?" it was a subject they never discussed.

Qui-Gon was angry, now. "In regards to what, Obi-Wan. What would you have me say!"

"Kay'bee told me you would have chosen him as padawan were it not for me. Is this true?"

Qui-Gon stared, shock on the regal features. "That was a private conversation-"

"-I see. We have secrets now" Obi-Wan moved to get out of bed.

Qui-Gon shook him. "Stop it! I thought this was all resolved, Obi-Wan. And if you resent Kay'bee so much, why make overtures of friendship?"

Emerald eyes flashed. "We didn't speak of this before. And there was no reason not to be friends with Kay'bee once the truth came out."

"Friendship out of guilt?"

Obi-Wan glared. "I felt guilty because I had misjudged Kay'bee badly. As it turns out we have a lot in common. There was no pretense involved!"

Qui-Gon clapped his hands together. "Ahh, I see" he said sarcastically. "It's alright for you to be friends with someone who supposedly stole your lover, but it's terrible that I show concern for a worthy padawan."

Obi-Wan mulled that over. "I admit it sounds stupid" he said at length. "But I still want to know what you think of Kay'bee. How do you feel?"

Stormy blue eyes sparked on him. He took up both of Obi-Wans' hands.

"You insist on this?"

Obi-Wan looked down. "I have to know. I need to hearit."

Qui-Gon chose his words carefully. "You...are right in a sense. Kay'bee has touched me by his earnestness and quality. Traits you yourself have in abundance..."

Obi-Wan stared at him.

"I am not in love with him. I do love him as a fellow Jedi, and appreciate his qualities. He has great and possibly special potential."

Obi-Wan felt a stab of jealousy. Qui-Gon gripped his face.

"But he is no more special than you, my Obi. And it is you that I love. Without hesitation, doubt or uncertainty. Don't you know this?"

Obi-Wan didn't trust his voice. /I know you love me, but.../

Qui-Gon leaned in. //You think my heart is divided. It is not. I cannot split myself in half, or love in such a fashion.//

Quiet tears rolled down the fine face. /But, Kay'bee...he is handsome, bright, and most desirable. I would think.../

Qui-Gon kissed him. //This is nonsense. Do you never listen? And yes, were you not my padawan Kay'bee most likely would be my choice.//

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms tightly around. His voice was shaky. "So are you saying that he..."

"Would always be my second choice" the deep voice rumbled against his ear. "Nothing will ever change that. And most importantly..."

Obi-Wan nuzzled in, eyes lidded. "Yes?"

"I love you. Our souls burn together" Qui-Gon plunged into the hot mouth. //And I will say it a thousand times if you wish.//

Obi-Wan kissed back with fury. /Don't. I know. My own insecurity./

Qui-Gon pulled lips free. "Why in force are you insecure? I have never pursued Kay'bee. Anything he attempted was gained through deception and lies. Why would I be with someone like that?"

Obi-Wan stared, stunned. "That...makes a great deal of sense."

Qui-Gon pulled him close. "You say that he is handsome and fine. Well, what do you think you are??"

Obi-Wan flushed. "Well, I..."

"Have you ever wanted in the looks department? It seems to me that you've had quite a few offers yourself" deep blue eyes sharpened on him.

Obi-Wan frowned a little. "Now wait just a minute-"

"Well? Truth or not? Have I doubted your love because of it? Or did you pursue-"

Green eyes flashed. "You know I haven't! How can you even question..." he made a mocking expression.

"Oh that's funny, Qui-Gon. I'm not your student here."

Qui-Gon kissed along his throat. "Then stop talking and be my lover instead."

Obi-Wan arched back, closing his eyes. "That's...a dirty trick" he groaned as the kisses moved down over his collarbone. Big hands pushed him back down on the bed.

The bearded lips found a nipple. file://Really? I'll try many tricks, then.//

Obi-Wan squirmed. "Well, just make sure that...OH!" he yanked up as a wet tongue teased his chest. Hands tangled in the long mane.

"Trying to...distract me" breathing ragged.

Qui-Gon suckled hard on plump nipples. file://Damn right.// he slopped away over the soft peaks.

Obi-Wan moaned, pulling Qui-Gon up into a kiss. /Was being foolish, anyway. Never really doubted your love.../

Qui-Gon deepened the kiss. //No reason to, Obi.//

Obi-Wan whispered in his ear. "Make me crazy..."

Qui-Gon covered him like a blanket. "All night, love..."

"Lean back, Kay'bee. Relax."

"Are we almost finished?" weakly.

"Yes. But I want you to return tomorrow."

Kay'bee sat up on the examination table. "Why is it necessary? I'm not scheduled to come back until next week!"

A grim Jedi Master stood alongside the table. Gebrat was one of the more prominent healers specializing in psychic and mental disorders. He had a quiet, commanding air. Flinty grey eyes crackled with intensity.

"Kay'bee. Stand over by the scanpad while I run the psi-spectrum."

Kay'bee stood. "I would prefer to leave now, Master Gebrat. My schedule..."

Gebrat cut him off. "Your schedule can wait. I am more concerned with your level of progress since your last treatment. Have you been taking your medication?"

Kay'bee felt a stab of resentment as he stood against the wall. "I hate taking medicines. Perhaps my cure lies in the force."

"To some degree it already has. The force alone is insufficient, as well you know. It is part of your treatment, but only part. You did not answer my question."

He's no help. Walk out of here. Who's to say those medicines aren't addicting?

"Kay'bee!!"

Amber eyes blinked. The younger man focused slowly on the healer.

"My apologies, Master Gebrat. What was your question?"

"Hear my words, Kay'bee. Focus on me" he held a hand out in front.

Kay'bee felt pressure against his shields. His skin dotted with moisture.

"No..." eyes pinched shut. He leaned back against the wall pad, shivering.

You're crazy. There's no hope. Accept it.

"Never!!" Kay'bee nearly screamed.

A soothing wave washed over his mind. ://These are shadows only, Kay'bee. Stay with me...//

More shivering. /What if this is true?/

//Only if you accept defeat. Can you?//

/No. It disgusts me./

"Then open your eyes. Look this way."

Kay'bee slowly looked straight ahead. Gebrat sat behind a device that beamed colored rays of light across him. Reflexively, he covered his face.

"Stop fighting it, Kay'bee! Put your hands down."

"I will" he swallowed, forcing his hands to his side.

An hour later Gebrat sat with both Kay'bee and Turrell in his office.

"Kay'bee it is imperitive that you take your medication. The shield buffering cannot be effective otherwise. I cannot emphasize this enough."

Kay'bee sighed. "I understand. It's just that I had hoped I wouldn't need to rely on it so much. The thought angers me."

The grey eyes clouded with compassion. "Channel your anger towards healing, then. We can help, but you have to maintain."

Turrell watched her padawan. "What about his midchlorian levels? Are they within normal range now?"

Gebrat nodded. "Marginally, plus or minus 1,000. We'll have to monitor fluctuations closely. Kay'bee, I need to know if you've been hearing voices lately."

The younger man started, uncomfortable. He looked away.

Turrell touched his arm. "There can be no secrets here."

Gebrat stared at Kay'bee with a strange intensity. "He knows there are none. It has already occurred during the examination."

Turrell was stunned. "What!"

Resigned, Kay'bee answered them both. "Yes. Many times lately. Sometimes I can't disperse them. They are getting...too strong."

Gebrat was stern. "You must not believe that. You are Jedi first and foremost. Use your training and controls."

What a joke. Do we ever go away? Give up now, stop wasting everyone's time.

"I..."

Are you cured? We are part of you. Listen to us...

He felt fingers spread over his forehead. He couldn't move. More voices, different this time.

"What can I do?"

"Hold him. I'm going to give him some Wadxodizine. Touch his levels of awareness."

His arm felt warm. He blinked, staring at his hands.

"What happened? I...Master Gebrat, you had a question" amber eyes were dull. He stood abruptly.

"No! Something happened to me again. They said..."

"Tell us" Turrell was very still.

Kay'bee wrapped his arms around himself. "...To give up. That it's all useless..."

"Kay'bee" Turrell whispered, moving toward him.

He was trembling now. "Strictly speaking, I know it's not true...yet they never go away...never!!" he was agitated now.

Gebrat swung around his desk, grabbing the younger man in a grip of iron.

"Sit!!" he commanded. "Be still."

Kay'bee collapsed, the drug taking over his system. "Tired anyway."

"Kay'bee. I want you to remain here overnight for observation."

"Typical" Kay'bee breathed. "Whole life...sick of it."

"Recite the mantra of inner balance with me" a touch on his forehead again.

Gold eyes drooped. "Level...one. Disperse chaotic impulses. Accept totality."

"Two."

"Distinctions of thought patterns. Separation and content."

Turrell watched as her padawan edged closer to sleep, Gebrats' hands positioned at his temples. Soon Kay'bee was in a light trance.

"I will stay here with him" Turrell informed the healer. "I cannot leave him now."

Gebrat put a hand on her shoulder. "Somehow I knew you would say that. I'll make the arrangements."

Qui-Gon felt wonderfully draggy and warm. Long legs wrapped around his lover under cozy blankets.

"Mmm."

A giggle. A spiky head popped up from under the covers. Bright green eyes fixed on him.

The handsome face was flush with desire, cheeks ruddy. Fingers teased along the short beard over the full mouth.

"Remind me" Obi-Wan said through red lashes, "never to doubt your love again."

Qui-Gons' eyes were lidded. "Ridiculous. Do but doubt me once again so I can ravage you" he lunged at the soft throat, sucking loudly under the jawline.

Obi-Wan gasped in pleasure, falling back into the blankets. The lips were everywhere on him. The tousled head slid further down, disappearing and leaving a swath of hair tickling his chest. He played with it as a practiced tongue worked over his groin.

Obi-Wan bounced as Qui-Gon nibbled his balls. The snaking flesh lapped his cocks' head, making it weep. Qui-Gon sampled the bitter salt from the clear fluid.

"Guhhh....oh....QUI-GON!!" Obi-Wan screeched, hips lifting as fingers shot up his ass, pressing a tender spot.

"Mmm. Tasty" the deep voice was muffled under the blankets. "Now for the main course..."

Obi-Wan spread his legs wide. "Inside me!" he gasped, eyes rolling back. He bucked again as the hand twisted inside him, stretching him with aching heat. He grabbed handfuls of long hair, pulling Qui-Gon forward. Hot lips closed on his throbbing cock.

Qui-Gon was sweating now, the straining body beneath him hardening him further. His heavy cock banged off Obi-Wans' leg, puffed and needy.

Obi-Wan reached down and pulled it, squeezing the shaft tightly.

"AAghkk!!" Qui-Gon arched as Obi-Wan guided him in. Tight heat gripped him as they ground together, panting and gasping, aching for completion.

Suddenly their minds were awash with light. Fogged in pleasure they bounced mindlessly as the bed creaked in protest.

"Obi-Wannnn!!" Qui-Gon shrieked as milky thickness ripped from him, filling his lover hotly.

"Coming...yes!!" Strong hands clawed the broad back as muscled thighs spasmed, gripping the powerful hips.

They collapsed, ragged and out of breath. Gooey semen clung between them, evidence of their shattering orgasm.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly. "You're fantastic, you know that?"

Qui-Gon nuzzled, long hair tangled everywhere. "Hmm. I love the way you taste" warm tongue trailed along the smooth neck.

"Oh" Obi-Wan closed his eyes in bliss. He held the big body close, inhaling musk. Hair tumbled over his face, making a blanket of warmth.

"You're the best, Obi" the deep voice was velvet.

Obi-Wan melted, giving another moist kiss. They drifted off to sleep, murmuring tender endearments.

After a night of observation and treatment Kay'bee was ready to go home. Gebrath spoke to both of them at length.

"Twice a week. No exceptions, Kay'bee. I must monitor your midchlorian levels until they are stabilized again."

Kay'bee was nonplussed. "Very well, Master Gebrath. It seems as though I have little choice in the matter."

Turrell was annoyed. "Such a cavalier attitude, padawan!"

"No, Master. It's just that we've been through this so many times. I'm...I just wish there were answers."

"That depends on you. For the most part you were doing well this past year before this current relapse."

Amber eyes darkened. "How long will I have to come in twice a week?"

Gebrath squeezed his hand. "We'll try it for a month. If you midchlorian levels stay within 1,000 of the normal range we can cut back the schedule."

Kay'bee stood to leave. "Actually, I feel better already."

Gebrath gave a small smile. "Good. I'll see you in a few days."

Kay'bees' routine settled in nicely. He took a break during midday morning classes, sharing tea with his best friend Xavier.

Pale blue eyes observed him. "I know you get tired of this bit, Kay'bee, but what's the alternative? You couldn't have gone on like that."

Kay'bee sighed. "I know. It's so frustrating."

Xavier sipped his tea. "At least you still get to teach. Is your schedule any different this time around?"

Kay'bee nibbled a sandwich. "Twice a week. A bit much, if you ask me."

Xavier looked at him keenly. "Twice!! Kay'bee...was it because of the voices?"

"I don't wish to discuss that anymore" withdrawn.

Xavier put a hand over his. "Hey, it's me, remember? I'm concerned. You know that excessively high midchlorian levels are dangerous-"

"I know" Kay'bee answered quietly. "It's why Master Gebrath wishes me to receive treatment twice a week. My levels were too extreme again, and fluctuating."

"Do you think that was triggered by stress from the situation with...I mean..."

Kay'bee almost laughed. "You mean that fiasco with Master Jinn? Maybe. In any case it doesn't matter anymore. Besides, Obi-Wan and I are getting along pretty well."

Xavier leaned back, whistled. "Hope springs eternal. Are you okay with the way things turned out?"

Kay'bee waved him off. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Xavier looked across the bustling crowd in the cafeteria. "Here's your chance to prove it."

"What are you talking about?" curious, Kay'bee turned around in their booth. Standing in line were Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon, chatting with other Jedi.

Kay'bee abruptly turned back, eyes stormy.

Xavier watched him. "You're going to have to cope with this somehow, Kay'bee. For your own sanity."

"I'm not insane!" Kay'bee nearly shouted. He gulped his tea. "And for the record, I am over it" he added.

"My schedule is pretty busy, but I want you to stay with me a couple of days."

"I don't need a watchdog, Xavier. Do you think so little of me?"

"That's nonsense, Kay'bee and you know it. We haven't hung out in awhile. Besides, I've missed you. Anything wrong with that?"

Small smile. "Sorry. Guess with everything that's been happening...I overreacted."

Xavier munched his salad. "I've got a pretty light schedule today. Meet me at the training gym around six, okay?"

Kay'bee brightened. "Sounds good, buddy. Maybe we can have our own workout session."

Xavier gave him a thumbs up. "You got it. See you later" he squeezed his friend's shoulder as he left. Kay'bee smiled widely, watching him move through the crowded cafeteria.

He ate the rest of his lunch, thoughtful. Maybe Xavier is right. I still have my classes. There's no need to blow this out of porportion.

Finishing his meal, he headed toward the main hallway. And froze.

"Greetings, Kay'bee."

The deep voice he loved so well and tried hard to forget. He turned.

The towering figure stood behind him, blue eyes sparkling with clarity.

He bowed. "Greetings, Master Jinn. I trust you are well?"

"Indeed. How go your classes?"

He attempted to be casual. "Oh, some of the creche are bothersome, but for the most part I have a relatively quiet class."

"Hi, Kay'bee."

Kay'bee turned towards the approaching Obi-Wan. "Hi, Obi. Seems like everyone is getting an early lunch today."

Green eyes were on him. "We figured it was a good time to eat. I myself won't get another chance before later today. Lecture on the history of the Masters on Dakka'un."

Kay'bee made a face. "Ugh. Isn't that topic a little dry?"

Qui-Gon laughed softly. "It does seem a little prosaic for modern times. But Master Ooereth has always had a fascination for such topics."

"You have my sympathies, Obi-Wan."

"Thanks. What does your day look like?"

"I'm heading back to classes. Going to hook up with my buddy later."

Obi-Wan glanced briefly at Qui-Gon. "Oh, well. I was going to ask you out, but if..."

"I'm busy. Another time perhaps" he avoided Qui-Gons' eyes.

"Fare you well" Qui-Gon turned and blended into the crowd.

Obi-Wan remained. "Is everything..."

"What is it, Obi-Wan? I need to go" Kay'bee turned, annoyed.

Obi-Wan stood in front of him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend. It's just that-"

Kay'bee tucked his hands in his robe sleeves. "I think you overcompensate. Enough."

Taken aback, Obi-Wan blinked. "You're something else, Kay'bee."

"Not enough apparently" Kay'bee turned and left him. Obi-Wan stood stupefied as Kay'bee marched off.

Qui-Gon came up behind him. "Obi-Wan, allow him his own space. He owes us no explanation."

Obi-Wan continued to stare at the retreating Kay'bee. "I know that. But since you said Master Turrell was concerned-"

"Clearly they have the situation in hand. Come, let's eat now."

Obi-Wan nodded, still staring after Kay'bee. Something didn't feel right to him.

Kay'bee got through the rest of the day uneventfully. His last class dismissed, he took a few moments to collect his thoughts. After checking the student reports, he leaned back behind his desk.

He looked at the chronometer lazily. Nearly four. I can relax a bit before catching up with Xavier.

Kay'bee stared at a small metallic disc on his desk pad. The carrying case for his medication. He picked it up, feeling the cool steel against his palm. Lifting the lid he poked at the red pills inside.

So this is my ticket to sanity? What a joke.

It is. They look like candy.

"Stop it" he murmured under his breath.

Stop what? Don't you listen?

"Not to you. Mantra seven..."

Oh, stop it. That won't keep us out. How's life?

Kay'bee closed his eyes, teeth gritted. Shadows. Not real.

How now? We're part of you. And we were worried. You haven't talked to us lately. It's been weeks since we've chatted.

I won't yield to this nonsense.

If you ignore us we'll just grow stronger inside you.

You are nothing. Leave me alone.

Do we have to yell? By the way, Qui-Gon looks good doesn't he?

Kay'bee gasped.

S'matter, hit a nerve? Obi looks happy. Bet they bounce real good all night...

"SHUT UP!!" Kay'bee shouted. His hands dug into the arm rests.

Your plan nearly worked. But he was sweet, wasn't he?

Kay'bee panted, sweat popping on his forehead. He began to shiver, eyes closed.

Obi is your friend now. Maybe you can go to bed with him. He'd be good, too.

Kay'bee opened his eyes slowly. He had to stop this.

Love the one you're with, right? He would come to you again, you know it's true!

"Got to...do something..."

Kay'bee wants his Qui-Gon, Kay'bee wants his Qui-Gon!!

He held his head while the voices droned on, a mocking echo. Somewhere in his mind he felt someone reaching, trying to connect. The voices shouted it down.

"I can't take it anymore!!" grabbing the medication box, he raced to the bathroom. Standing at the sink he poured himself a glass of water.

What do you think you're doing?!

"Putting an end to this!" Kay'bee yelled, tears streaming. Pulling open the box he poured pills down his throat.

Turrell was apprehensive all day. Her link with Kay'bee was erratic and strained. But the assault of images frightened her. She stumbled from the library, blinding running through corridors. Windu intercepted her.

"Turrell, what is it? Didn't you hear me call?" Mace looked worried.

"My padawan!" she shouted in distress. "Mace, he needs me...I can't link with him. It's as if..." she couldn't finish.

He put an arm around her. "Let's trace his trail. What did he have scheduled today?"

"Classes at the creche" she moved to run again.

"Wait!" he halted her again. "We go together..."

"What's going on?"

They spun. Qui-Gon walked with purpose and speed, Obi-Wan at his side.

"Turrell, I saw you across the corridor" Qui-Gons' eyes bored into her. "Is it an emergency?"

Obi-Wan looked distant. "Master Turrell. It's Kay'bee, isn't it?"

She nodded. "I must find him. Something's happened!"

Obi-Wan gasped. "I knew it! He wasn't right earlier."

"What say you, padawan?" Windu demanded. "You saw him earlier?"

"Yes, we both did" Obi-Wan said quickly, indicating Qui-Gon.

"Where!"

"In the cafeteria" Qui-Gon answered. "He was going to classes afterward-"

"His office!!" Turrell surmised. "Let's go!" she bolted.

They raced behind her, drawing stunned surprise by several Jedi who wondered at the commotion.

Through the west annex they arrived awhile later, taking the lift to the second floor.

"Calm, Turrell. We will find the truth" Windu comforted her.

Obi-Wan felt frantic himself. "Master, I knew something was still wrong..."

Blue eyes sparked with intensity. "I always trust your anomaly sense, Obi-Wan. But he had seemed stable-" he stopped, looking at Windu.

Turrell nodded sadly. "He knows of Kay'bees' history, Qui-Gon."

The doors slid open. They went down the hallway at a dead run.

"Kay'bee!!" Turrell shouted as they approached the doors. No response.

"They're locked..." Windu said quietly. "We must-"

Turrell wasted no time. With a gesture she melted the wall control panel by the doors. They burst inside.

"Kay'bee!!" Turrell looked about frantically. The other Jedi searched the room.

Obi-Wan bolted towards the back. Going into the bathroom, his heart filled with dread.

"Oh, ghods..."

Kay'bee was prone on the floor, still clutching the medication box. Red pills were scattered over the tile.

Obi-Wan had barely turned when Turrell stormed in.

"MOVE!!" she yelled at Obi-Wan. Shocked, he moved aside.

Turrell dropped to her knees, cradling Kay'bee. "I've failed thee, my padawan" tears streamed down her face.

Qui-Gon and Mace dropped down beside her. Grimly, Qui-Gon touched the damp forehead.

"He lives...but we must make haste."

"I will assist" Windu took an expression of concentration. Slender fingers spread over the pale face.

"Can I do anything?" Obi-Wan felt helpless.

Qui-Gon looked up quickly. "Get assistance. Go!"

Obi-Wan bolted from the room.

Three jedi masters worked feverishly to pull Kay'bee from the brink. Inside the landscape of the mind...

He was walking across a plain. So peaceful, quiet. The voices no longer bothered him. He was his own man.

No, Kay'bee. It is false serenity.

He wouldn't listen. Not this time. Their tricks couldn't reach him here.

It was getting darker. He wanted to rest.

Come this way. Return to the light.

Kay'bee lay down. His eyes closed. Sweet peace at last...

You must not!!

A figure approached him, swaddled in cloak and cowl. Who?

Strong hands lifted him to a sitting position.

What do you want of me? Let me sleep.

Sleep? When there are so many who love thee?

They will understand. I can't fight the voices.

You can. You are Jedi. Do you accept feckless defeat?

I accept what I can't change.

The voices are not absolute. You have control.

If I had control I wouldn't hear them. I can't stop it.

You control your life. If you throw it away now the shadows have won.

Let them. I'm so tired...

Then use my strength. I will bring you to the light.

But I'm afraid. I've failed so many times...disappointed my Master...

She is not disappointed. She loves you.

I don't want to be an embarassment to her anymore...

She is here. There is no embarassment.

Kay'bee squinted against the blank landscape. I don't see her.

She is in the light. Follow me there.

I want to see your face.

The hooded figure pulled back the cowl. Shock.

Master...Master Jinn!

Come with me.

Kay'bee pulled away. You don't love me. Why does this matter to you?

Regal features lined with sorrow. Kay'bee, you must return. I am not worth your life. I never was.

I would have given up anything for you.

Not this. And you are wrong. I do love you as Jedi. You are bright and beautiful. You must come back with me.

You think I'm beautiful?

Long arms held him tightly. Yes. Many await us. Come.

Many? Who?

Those who care for you. Turrell, Windu, Obi-Wan.

Can you do something for me?

Anything.

Kiss me? Because you want to, not out of pity.

I never pitied you the powerful form swept him into a kiss.

Kay'bee clutched Qui-Gon hard as their mouths met. He pulled off too soon.

Now will you come? blue eyes were bottomless on him. The handsome face smiled at him softly.

Kay'bee smiled. He looked across the grim landscape.

There is nothing for me here. I would leave this dismal place.

Two figures walked in the direction of the light.

Kay'bee blinked. Blinding pain stabbed behind his eyes, forcing them shut again.

"Be at ease, Kay'bee" fingers brushed his forehead. His body jerked. He cried out.

"Quinone."

Hands on him, holding him down. Voices in the background.

"Is there any damage?"

"We'll have to do a series of scans."

"I hope he's all right."

A prick. His arm felt warm.

"Kay'bee. Can you hear me?"

There was less pain this time. Eyes opened slowly again. A gentle hand swabbed them .

"I'm um..."

"Drink."

Turrell was at his bedside. She tipped a water glass to his lips. He gulped thirstily.

"Master, I..." words wouldn't come.

She looked at him. It had been a difficult week. He was bruised and thin, white blond shocks tangled.

"Shush" she kissed his eyes and forehead. He smiled weakly.

"Looks like a full house" he noted the anxious faces in the room. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, Master Gebrat.

Gebrat spoke next, moving over him. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm" he tried to move, but noticed he was strapped down. He glared back up at them.

"Necessary, Kay'bee. Your body has reacted violently to the overdose. We couldn't risk you injuring yourself."

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stepped closer to the bed. Kay'bee looked at them as he spoke.

"Don't you think this is overkill? I've only been here overnight."

"A week" Obi-Wan told him quietly. The green eyes were intense.

Amber eyes widened in shock. "A...a week?!"

Gebrat checked his vital signs on the monitor. "You had high fever and convulsions. We nearly lost you a second time."

Kay'bee looked at Turrell. She had dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered, eyes watering. "Forgive me..."

She stroked his face. "No more tears, no more sorrow. Now we strengthen and rebuild."

"I like your thinking" he looked over at Qui-Gon, who had been silent up until now.

"Master Jinn, you haven't said anything."

The regal face was an unreadable mask. "I should strangle you myself."

"I, ah...what??"

"You heard me" Qui-Gon approached the bed. "What were you thinking? What Jedi would attempt suicide?"

"It wasn't like that-"

"Then tell us."

Kay'bee looked away. "The voices. I couldn't...I tried to silence them."

"And nearly killed yourself in the process" Obi-Wan told him. "Why, Kay'bee?"

"Have you ever had to contest your own mind, Obi-Wan? I have. Every day of my life."

Obi-Wan looked crestfallen. "I couldn't know. But we care, and you gave us such a fright."

Kay'bee almost smiled. "Do I surprise you?"

"Endlessly" Obi-Wan admitted.

"Okay, folks" Gebrat held his hands up. "He needs rest. Make it short."

"Can't you at least unstrap me?" Kay'bee scowled, indignant.

"Tomorrow" Gebrat answered. "Kay'bee...you must stay here for a period of time in the infirmary. Later you will be assigned to a healer."

He closed his eyes, pained. "It's out of my hands now, isn't it?"

Hand squeezing his shoulder. "Yes."

"We'll get through this, my padawan" Turrell assured him.

"What about my classes?"

"Poovis will take over for awhile. She wants to visit you. So does Xavier."

Weak smile. "It'll be good to see them."

"They aren't the only ones" Qui-Gon added. "Your students wish to see you as well."

Kay'bee was stunned. "Wha...all of them?"

Gentle smile. "Of course. Did you think no one would miss you?"

Amber eyes sparkled at him. "I was wrong...about many things. And now I have a new perspective. A more accurate one."

"And closure on this chapter" Turrell added with meaning.

Obi-Wan was silent. He couldn't agree more.

Later that evening Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had dinner at home. A tasty meal of Durkee squab, potatoes and stewed carnbers.

Qui-Gon watched him. "You've been very quiet. What are you thinking?"

Obi-Wan thought a moment. "This may sound selfish-"

"Go on."

"While I wish Kay'bee well I want him to get over it."

Qui-Gon pecked at his plate. "Specifically..."

Emerald eyes blazed on him. "You. It's been the catalyst for his relapse, his inability to accept the fact that you don't...love him."

Qui-Gon looked up sharply. "Why that pause, Obi-Wan? What do you still imply?"

Obi-Wan sipped his wine. "I imply nothing-"

"You do. I sense resentment beneath relief and guilt. A disruptive mindset, padawan."

"All right, then!" Obi-Wan slammed down the glass. "Maybe I'm not completely rational about this either. I feel miserable for Kay'bee. To kill yourself over someone...it is truly sad and desperate-"

"That was not his motivation!" Qui-Gon shouted.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No, it was. Maybe the 'voices' pushed him over the edge, but you were at the root of it."

Qui-Gon glared. "Your opinion, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan glared back. "Not opinion. My anomaly sense!"

Qui-Gon withered. "What would you have me say. I told Kay'bee I wasn't worth it, not worth anyone's life..." he looked away.

The admission stunned him. "You said...what?"

"You think you feel guilty? I didn't know what to do. Kay'bee nearly died because I couldn't give him what he needed..." he broke off.

Obi-Wan looked miserable. "I'm sorry. I thought you felt a love for him you couldn't admit."

Qui-Gon laughed, covered his eyes. "No. No and no again. I have told you this. I have professed my love for you. Must I tatoo it on my head before you believe me?"

Obi-Wan persisted gently. "But you do have special feelings for him?"

"Why...why do you go on with this?" Qui-Gon was weary. Obi-Wan took his hands across the table.

"Just tell me?" emerald eyes were brilliant.

Qui-Gon sighed, looked down. "He touches me, reminds me of a time in my life before I had a certain padawan. And I have told you already I love him as a Jedi, but nothing more. I can't and won't give up what we have, Obi-Wan. Whatever I feel for Kay'bee cannot begin to compare to what I feel for you" blue eyes smouldered on him.

Obi-Wan kissed him softly across the table. "Thank you."

They stood. Qui-Gon grabbed him into another kiss. //And are you satisfied now?//

Obi-Wan was crushed against the hot chest. /Oh, yes./

Kiss. "You drive me crazy, you know that?"

Kiss. "Wanted you to admit it..."

Kiss. "I admitted it! Now no more talking about Kay'bee!"

Kiss. Green eyes eyed Qui-Gon low. "No more Kay'bee."

"You snekt" Qui-Gon panted, hair loosening in a tangle. "I swear, I should just-"

Hot lips swallowed his protest. Qui-Gon grabbed Obi-Wan by the buttocks with one hand. The other long arm swept the kitchen table clear, knocking dishware onto the floor with a crash.

Green eyes were glazed over. "You're making a mess" Obi-Wan breathed hotly. He pulled Qui-Gons' shirt open, exposing flexing pecs. Hands massaged the broad chest.

Qui-Gon suckled his neck. "I'm about to make a bigger mess" he placed Obi-Wans' hand over his bulging groin.

Obi-Wan gasped, reaching inside the heavy fabric and pulling Qui-Gon free. The heavy cock throbbed in his hand. He teased the tip with his fingers.

Qui-Gon lifted him back over the kitchen table, pushing him down and yanking off his pants in the same gesture. Obi-Wan giggled.

"My, aren't we impatient. What happened to those Jedi Master controls?"

"Gone to Sith" the lion head went low on him, teeth nipping a swelling groin under thin briefs.

Big hands reached up, sliding under his tunic, squeezing soft chest peaks.

"Gaghh..."

Teeth pulling the briefs down. A golden cock popped high in the air. Qui-Gon kneeled in front of him.

Lap slap on the tip. //Hard time?// hot eyes burned on Obi-Wan as he deep throated, pulling the root hard.

"Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan bounced up, legs flailing wide on the kitchen table. He arched, clutching the tousled head.

"MmmmmMMM..." Qui-Gon pulled the cock in his mouth like a candy stick, round and round...twisting his tongue to the tip then plunging down again.

"Ghods!!" Obi-Wan cried out, hips rocking wildly as fingers slipped up his ass. Tender nipples poked high, strained with heat. The table banged against the floor.

Qui-Gon paddled his own balls hard with the other hand while twisting fingers inside Obi-Wan. He licked along the silky thighs, tasting the moist thatch at the groin.

"Sith..." Obi-Wan sweated, teeth gritted in pleasure as he bounced. Pearly beads eased from his cock.

Qui-Gon yanked his fingers out, making Obi-Wan shriek as orgasm ripped through him. He was spurting himself as he plunged into the clenching heat, slopping thick wetness across Obi's thighs and belly.

They rocked together on the table, wrenching and thrashing. Arms and legs in a tight tangle, swelling and bursting a second time, screaming pleasure...

...sinking to the floor slowly. Obi-Wan blinked, staring at the ceiling lights.

"Oh..."

"Huggh...Obi..."

Qui-Gon rolled off him slowly as he withdrew, flopping on his side. A wicked smile.

"Rrrr. Sexy" blue eyes glowed low. The long mane tangled everywhere, framing the handsome face flush with heat.

Obi-Wan blushed, long lashes fanning. "Seems like this is where it all started" he gasped, referring to when they first made love on the kitchen floor.

Qui-Gon stroked the lush body. Nuzzle. "Mmm. Better each time, too. I may not recover for a week" he sidled down, sampling a plump nipple.

Obi-Wan arched. "Oh!" his eyes closed in bliss. "You know, I love these arguments we have. If we make up like this all the time..."

"So you want to start another fight?" Qui-Gon murmured on his chest. He lapped lazily over round pecs.

Obi-Wan sighed, content. "Well, not fight exactly" he pouted plump lips at his lover.

Qui-Gon smothered them with his own. They struggled to their feet, bodies still swollen with need. A big hand wrapped around the padawan braid.

"This kitchen is a mess" Obi-Wan heaved, breathing heavy again. He glistened with moisture.

Qui-Gon tugged his head into a sloppy kiss. "Let's mess up the bedroom, too."

Obi-Wan glowed. "Jackrabbit. You're hopeless."

Laughing, they ran to bed.

Kay'bee stood at the window in his room, gazing at the cloudless sky. It had been difficult enduring weeks of extensive treatment, but well worth it. He had never felt so whole.

"Kay'bee?"

He turned. Turrell came in with a basket of fruit. Her dark eyes twinkled at him.

"You look wonderful, padawan. Your progress has been excellent."

He smiled at her. "Thank you, Master. I feel so different now."

She put the fruit down and approached him. "How so?"

"Much of my behavior before...makes no sense to me now. My motivations, my ambitions..."

She looked into his eyes. "You mean your obsession with Master Jinn."

He glanced away. "Yes."

"And have you finally come to terms with it? The reality, not the fantasy?"

Amber eyes brightened. "It would seem so. I can think of him now and not be consumed. A gentle warmth instead of a blazing inferno."

She hugged him. "I'm truly proud. Gebrat tells me you can resume teaching soon if you wish."

"If I...are you kidding? I've been itching to get back to my classes!"

Turrell noticed the spark in his eyes. She put an arm around him as they gazed out the window.

"Truly a time for renewal" Kay'bee said serenely, echoing her smiling thoughts.

THE END