Bitter Lesson

by obi-ki

Title: Bitter Lesson

Author: obi-ki

Pairing: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan

Rating/warnings: G, angst

Catagory: Qui/Obi

Archive: MA, anyone else please ask

Warnings and Spoilers: Angst

Timeline: Ten years after TPM

Summary: Sometimes people disappoint.

Disclaimer: Everything Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilms. I am just playing in his world, borrowing the boyz and their accomplices and will return them all when I'm through. No money is being made from this, it is all done for entertainment only.

Obi-Wan Kenobi sat on a bench in the Room of a Thousand Fountains, looking from the stone cradled in his palm to the bustle of Jedi going to and fro around him and wanted to scream. How could they walk around smiling and joking, sharing news and gossip and going about their normal routines as if this was just any other day? How could they not even take a moment to acknowledge what this date represented?

It was on this date ten years ago that the Force had lost one of its strongest avatars. In the flash of an angry red blade, Qui-Gon Jinn had been struck down and the Jedi Order and the Republic had immediately begun to feel the repercussions.

Most people would say that one man could not possibly have had such an extensive influence but those people had not known Qui-Gon Jinn. His strength in the Living Force had given him a perspective on the Force that outshone even many of the Council members and his desire to follow the Will of the Force above all else put him at odds with the Jedi Council more often than not. The fact that he was right more often than he was wrong did nothing to alleviate that situation.

Turning the stone Qui-Gon had given him for his thirteenth name day with his fingers, Obi-Wan identified the people who passed by. Plo Koon walked through with his hood up without greeting him, obviously in a hurry. He had been a close friend of Qui-Gon's, serving with him in the Stark Hyperspace Wars along with a number of other missions. Adi Gallia strolled by going in the opposite direction, chatting with her Padawan Siri, giving him a slight nod of acknowledgement but nothing more.

He sat there for hours, cataloguing the Jedi who passed by. Most he knew at least by sight and some he knew quite well. Some were friends of Qui-Gon's, some were friends of his, and others were merely acquaintances. A few came over and made small talk about one thing or another but not one made mention of Qui-Gon or the fact that today was the tenth anniversary of his death. Not one had come over with a fond anecdote or a memory of Qui-Gon to share with him. Not one had offered any words of comfort or condolence for the pain that still weighed so heavily in Obi-Wan's heart.

Even Anakin had not mentioned anything about it before he left for class in the morning. Even the boy who had been rescued from slavery and brought to the Temple by Qui-Gon, seemed to have forgotten all about the man he owed his current life to.

Obi-Wan clutched the stone in his fist and again fought the urge to rail at those around him. How could people be so fickle? Qui-Gon had always been ready and willing with a kind word or a helping hand, even many times when Obi-Wan would have preferred he had left the pathetic life-forms to their own devices. He had brought peace and joy to so many lives. Sometimes in duty, other times in friendship but always in genuine compassion and caring. How could they have forgotten all that Qui-Gon had meant, both to the Jedi Order and to them personally? How could they have forgotten his sacrifice?

Not to mention Obi-Wan's own friends. How could they not remember and take the time to seek him out, today of all days? Obi-Wan's world had fallen apart with the slice of Darth Maul's blade, all his dreams vanishing as Qui-Gon's spirit had slipped into the embrace of the Force.

Rising from the bench, Obi-Wan looked down at the river stone that had stored his memories all those years ago and focused on it with the Force. As always, he felt a tiny wisp of Qui-Gon's presence echo back to him before fading away. He tucked the stone carefully back into his belt pouch and started down the path out of the garden.

Maybe this was just another bitter lesson in a lifetime of bitter lessons. There had only been one person he could always count on and for now that person was out of reach. So, he would just have to learn to expect nothing of no one, until the day came when Qui-Gon was within reach once again.

The end.