Better to Give...

(c) Rogue 1999

Spoilers: For my own ficline only. Set between the reminiscing told in "Padawan Story Hour-Jedi Love Confessions" and "Raising Spirits."

Rating: R for implied Romance.

Archive: Master and Apprentice, yea verily! Anyone else who wants it, enjoy the gift, please keep my name attached. If you want to, you can even let me know which stocking it got stuffed into.

Warnings: The forecast is saccharine with occasional coyness.

Summary: Pre-Relationship; Obi-Wan goes home for a family visit during a special time of year on his home planet.

Disclaimer: Hey, Mr. Lucas! You won't mind too awfully much if I write the boys into a fic, and so what if it'll be smarmy, after all the crap they've been put through, they deserve this, and I should probably mention right about now that they're yours, as is the rest of the officially known Star Wars universe, but so far, nobody exceptionally wonderful and attractive has died unnecessarily in my fics, so maybe, just maybe, they would do better in my possession and... Hahahahahahaaaaaa ... yeah. Okay, okay. They're all yours; I willingly kowtow and pander to the Mighty Lucas.

Author's Note: If this seems exceptionally wild and weird, I apologize in advance. I finished decorating the porch and the house and cuddled some baby bunnies that our other rabbits had, and so, decorations being my favorite part of the Christmas Season, I'm on a major happiness high (all natural.). My roommates - foolish creatures they be - let me turn my computer on and do things with it. Friends really shouldn't let friends write wired.

Feedback: 'Tis the season; I gave you a reason. rogue10@hotmail.com

"I think it's a good idea, actually."

Obi-Wan looked up and turned his head to find his master reading over his shoulder as he sat at their shared computer terminal in their quarters. "Master?" he prompted.

Qui-Gon smiled slightly at his young apprentice, keeping his mind focused away from any side alleys it might have wanted to wander down, exploring thoughts on how pretty Obi-Wan's blue-gray eyes were. He rested one hand on the young man's shoulder and nodded to the communique that had been sent by Obi-Wan's mother. "I think it's a good idea to let you go home for a visitation for Rinjornn's holiday season. It's a special time of year, reflecting on peace and joy, and it will please your family to see you again after so many years. You can go visit them while I stay here and clear up a few minor projects that I've left dragging."

Seventeen-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi turned to face his master, who stepped back politely. "But, Master, don't we have any missions coming up? And I know there are some exams in political science and diplomacy coming up soon for the new Republic admission of Saaldra Prime; shouldn't I be around to take those? All Padawans eventually have to do so." True, he would like a chance to visit his family. His mother and father were two of the most open, cheerful, easy-going people he'd ever known, and his brother and sister were shaping up to be just like them. The Kenobis' were farmers on Rinjornn, possessing a modest farm that raised livestock. He cared about them all immensely.

However, to a young man in love, the thought of being separated for even as long as two weeks seemed like eternity. It was doubly agonizing when the object of that affection was the young man's teacher that he spent almost every day with.

Qui-Gon himself wasn't looking too forward to being apart from his apprentice, but he did recognize the fact that Obi-Wan was pushing hard - probably too hard - to do his best at every task given. For some reason, the boy seemed to be trying to show something off. Qui-Gon supposed it was to catch somebody's attention, someone his young student was infatuated with. While the older man could understand this, he wanted Obi-Wan to relax and enjoy his youth while he could; all too soon the Padawan would become a Knight and be faced with growing older while performing mission upon mission, some more dangerous than others.

Reaching out, Qui-Gon patted Obi-Wan's shoulder and smiled again as he said, "You may take the exams early if you wish, Obi-Wan, or take them when you get back. There is no set deadline for the next two months, so any time in that timeframe is fine. As for missions, no, actually, we don't have any. Won't for the next two weeks at any rate, which is perfect, as it coincides with your family's desire to have you home for the holiday season. And this down time will do you some good, young man. You've been working very hard, and doing a good job at it. But you need to relax and play, too. I fully plan to shanghai some of my fellow masters and indulge in some down time of my own. I would like to see you go off and have some fun without your old master dragging you down for once."

"You are not old, Master," Obi-Wan protested, grinning slightly. "But I guess you're right. It will seem kind of boring though, without you around."

"Boring? Without me?" Qui-Gon arched an eyebrow and grinned. "My dear Padawan, should I be checking for signs of a head injury? Why would you be bored without me?"

"Well, for one thing, I wouldn't be able to do ... this!" And with a shout of laughter, the young man charged forward and tackled his master backwards over the sofa.

"Whoulf!" The Jedi Master let out a grunt as he tumbled over the back of the furniture and then down onto the floor, his long legs narrowly missing the coffee table. He propped himself up on his elbows and mock-glared up at his young apprentice, who was sprawled out on the couch, grinning down at him. "That, scamp, is going to cost you."

"Cost me what? As a Jedi Apprentice, I don't have a monetary cache stashed somewhere! I'm poor as a church mouse!" Obi-Wan laughed, then scrambled back from Qui-Gon's grasping hand. He further backed away, moving off the couch with his eyes wide and eyebrows climbing high, as Qui-Gon got to his feet and began to advance. "Um, Master, now, be reasonable..."

"Reasonable?" Qui-Gon asked mildly. "What possible reason do I have to be reasonable, young Obi-Wan? After all, I did not blindside you."

"Oh, damn," the younger man muttered, then turned and bolted for the door to his bedroom.

The next half-hour was spent with the two men's quarters ringing with the sounds of shouts, curses, and thumps as they tackled and tussled each other around the common area. It might have gone on longer had a friend of Qui-Gon's not shown up.

Bealma Swerd grinned as she looked at the Master and Apprentice. Currently, the Master had the Apprentice pinned face down on the floor and alternately yelling for mercy and threatening to shave his master bald once he got hold of him if the older man didn't stop tickling him and let him up right that minute.

"Caving in so soon, my Padawan?" Qui-Gon laughed. "Some Jedi Knight you'll make! How will you be expected to hold up under torture at this rate?"

"Oh, I can't say as I blame him, much," Bealma said, getting their attention. She grinned and nodded at them by way of greeting as she continued. "I admit it; if some big guy pins me down on the floor and tickles me mercilessly, I will tell you where the King of Florea hides his personal treasury."

"Oh, really?" Qui-Gon said with a warm, casual smile as he eased off his apprentice and sat back on his heels. "That's useful information to have - the admittance of weakness, I mean - but what if I want to know something different?"

Bealma gave the Jedi Master a grin and a teasing wink as she replied, "Then I suppose you'll just have to come up with a different torture method."

"Ah, I've been challenged. Far be it from me to disappoint a lady," the older man quipped, and he got up, offering his hand to his student.

Obi-Wan took it and kept his face straight. He really did not like watching his master flirt with a woman whom, while not exceptionally beautiful, was still quite lovely to look at, and seemed to be a close friend, besides. He bowed to her and said, "Greetings, Master Swerd. Sorry for the unseemly display."

"Very good, Padawan," Qui-Gon nodded. "At least you recognize that your begging for mercy was-"

"Excuse me, Master? I was talking about your cheating!" Obi-Wan sassed, raising an eyebrow and grinning.

Qui-Gon blinked, then scowled at his student sternly.

Bealma, recognizing certain signs in Qui-Gon, grinned at Obi-Wan and said, "Padawan, if I were you, I'd make good on an escape right now while I talk to your Master."

Obi-Wan took one look at his master and realized the same thing. Bowing, he bid goodbye to the two Masters, scooting quickly out of range of his master's hand aiming a swat at him, and left the quarters.

Bealma and Qui-Gon took one look at each other and then cracked up, leaning on each other as they laughed. When they had calmed down, Qui-Gon slipped an arm around his old friend's waist and led her over to the couch.

The two of them sat down on it and she leaned against him and stared at a small painting on the opposite wall as she said, "It's good to hear you laugh and play like that again. Obi-Wan has done wonders for you."

"Yes," Qui-Gon agreed, his voice warm with the topic of his Padawan. "Yes, he has. I'm a very lucky man, Bealma. He is a wonderful apprentice, and a good man."

She nodded briefly, staying silent for a moment. Then she asked, "Still in love with him?"

"Yes. I doubt I will ever fall out of love with him. But until I am certain of the correct path - whether to become his lover or not - I will err on the side of caution and remain as I am to him now. Once he has come of age, then I will actively petition the Force during meditations for signs of possible futures with him. Right now, he is too young."

She smiled. "I admire your strength, Qui-Gon. I don't know many men who could remain so sternly on their chosen path if placed in your predicament."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes, but you see, I have excellent incentive for doing so. I can either give in to my desires and seduce my apprentice for a quick fling, or I can keep him with me for as long as possible by minding my manners. Being a selfish and long-term thinking man, why do you suppose I've chosen this path?"

"I see your point," she laughed.

He nodded and then began telling her of Obi-Wan's letter from his family and his apprentice's upcoming vacation.

Obi-Wan stood outside the Kenobi home on a small hill. It was late evening, and there was frost on the ground. The stars and moon was out, and his breath misted in the air. Shivering a little, he pulled his insulated robe tighter about him and looked up at the night sky, in the direction of Coruscant, though he was twenty-three light-years and change from the Jedi Temple and his master.

He'd been at his family's home for a week and two days already, and he missed his master more with each passing day. He had brought the small holoprojector from the desk in his room at the Temple along with him, and it sat on his bedside table. Each night, he went to sleep gazing at his favorite still-hologram of him and his master. They had been caught by a friend of Obi-Wan's while horsing around. Obi-Wan had jumped on Qui-Gon from behind and the two of them were laughing as Qui-Gon bent nearly double while trying to pry him off, his blue eyes glinting and his hair flying in artful disarray. The sight of the big man, so relaxed and so obviously strong, made his heart beat a little harder when he stared at the image.

So far, on his vacation, he had helped decorate the house with what his mother called "glitter-pretties." They were small, sparkly ornaments and garlands, either handmade or bought in shops from the city or gifts Obi-Wan had sent home from other planets, and they were strung up about the house to give it a festive atmosphere. There was a tree chosen outside, near the house, and in keeping with tradition and religion, the tree was decorated in the same manner. Pretty, lovely scented candles were always burning, and there was enough food, in Obi-Wan's opinion, to feed three armies. However, he was looking forward to it. His mother was a wonderful cook, and he wasn't about to pass up the chance to make a rare glutton of himself on her food.

In another few days, the entire family would begin giving small gifts to each other, to show affection and in keeping with the holiday tradition. Obi-Wan knew that whatever he got, he'd find a place to keep the gift or gifts. His family knew that, being a Jedi, he wasn't inclined to keep a lot of knick-knacks, so he rarely got long-lasting tangible gifts from them. No, usually his mother sent a small edible item with love from all of them.

Obi-Wan smiled as he continued to stare up the sky. The only thing that would have made this all perfect right now would be having Qui-Gon along with me. Ah, well; at least he's getting things done and somewhat content. The Padawan had been surprised when Qui-Gon had seen him off at the landing platform. The older man had looked down at him for a long, long moment until finally, he'd reached out and rested his hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. In all seriousness, he'd told the younger man that he would miss his friend and student while Obi-Wan was gone. Then he had given a final admission to have fun and to send his old master a note every once in a while to let him know Obi-Wan was doing okay, and that was that.

It is nice to know that he's missing me, Obi-Wan thought. I'm glad he's sufficiently fond of me at least enough for that.

The young man took a deep breath, then turned and began walking down the hill toward the house. It was time to get some sleep. He was going to have a busy day tomorrow, helping round up the livestock to give them worming shots.

Qui-Gon grinned as he handed the package for his apprentice to the woman working at the desk in the Temple's Courier Office. After giving his instructions to the woman regarding the package, he bowed to her and made his way out of the office and toward the class for Masters he was scheduled to attend.

I really can't wait to see Obi-Wan's face when he comes home, Qui-Gon thought to himself as he strolled along the hallways. This is going to surprise the 'saber off of him. I must remember to thank Bealma for such a wonderful idea.

Humming slightly to himself, he entered his classroom and acknowledged the greetings from Mace Windu and one of their old friends.

"Ben! Hey, Ben, wake up!"

"Call him Obi-Wan; it's what he's used to hearing when he gets woken up."

The young Jedi Padawan groaned and stuffed his head under his pillow, curling his body up into a ball. He hoped his sister, standing next to his bed, could read body language and would take the hint and go away.

No such luck against a twelve-year-old.

Obi-Wan yelped as cold air hit his body, which was clad only in a thin pair of sleep tunic and pants. He popped his tousled, spiking head out from under the pillow and gave his grinning sibling the Glare of Death. "What is it, bratling?" he groused.

Felicia laughed. "Come on, smarty-pants, get up. There's a surprise waiting for you!"

The Padawan sighed and flopped back down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "Why me?" he muttered theatrically.

"Why not?" sassed Owen, who stood in the doorway. Obi-Wan's fifteen-year-old brother grinned as the Glare of Death transferred to him. "Get up, Obi. Fel's right; you've got a surprise. You can always take a nap later, if the parental units don't have anything lined up."

Obi-Wan yawned and stretched, then sat up and swung his legs over the side. Catching his sister's gaze, he held up his fist and began holding up a finger for each sentence. "Coffee. Lots of it. Family room. Now."

Laughing, the girl skipped out the door, taking a quick opportunity to pinch her youngest brother as she went by.

Owen groused and grumbled a bit, then shrugged her off and entered the room. He tossed his brother his robe and said, "You needed to get up anyway. If you get some breakfast into you now, you'll have enough energy to help me feed and then teach me some of those defense moves you said you'd do."

Obi-Wan yawned and rolled his eyes as he led the way out of his bedroom. And Qui-Gon thought I needed to relax? Hah!

Moments later, a steaming mug of coffee sitting on the table beside him, he sat on the sofa staring down at a package that had been placed on his lap. His was speechless; the sender's name was Qui-Gon Jinn.

He wouldn't have ... would he? Gone out of his way to send me a holiday gift just because I was here? The very thought astounded the young man.

"Well, go on, son!" Obi-Wan's father said. He looked up at the grinning, slightly heavy-set man. Brian Kenobi gestured at the package. "Don't keep us all in suspense!"

"Oh, hush, Brian!" Sarah Kenobi admonished gently, lightly tapping her husband's hand. "He'll open the gift package from his teacher when he's good and ready, now just wait!"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Um, no, Mother, that's all right. I'll go ahead and open it; I'm curious as to what Master Qui-Gon's sent me."

He did so and found a holoprojector inside, along with two disks, and two datapads. He took the one marked KENOBI FAMILY out and activated it. After a moment's reading, he grinned and tossed it to his father.

Brian Kenobi pulled out his spectacles and put them on. He blinked to adjust his eyes, then began reading out loud.

"Greetings to the Kenobi family; Brian and Sarah, and young Owen and Felicia. I hope all is well with you and this holiday season finds you all in good times and health. I've heard from Obi-Wan that your farm is prospering nicely, and that you all seem to be having a wonderful time. Thank you for thinking of inviting him home for a visit; I admit, it wasn't something I would have thought of without a bit of prompting. I'm glad you are enjoying my student's company so thoroughly and that he is helping you, but I am glad to say that I have had excellent material to work with these past four to five years. Thank you for keeping the young scamp entertained for the past two weeks. I must close now, but let me state that I look forward to meeting you all in person some day. Take care, happy holidays, and may the Force be with you. Qui-Gon Jinn."

The Kenobi family grinned and muttered their appreciation, telling Obi-Wan to take their thanks back with him when he went back to Coruscant. The young man nodded, and lifted out the datapad that said SCAMP on it. He grinned wryly. Obi-Wan knew he was a lucky young man; Qui-Gon was comfortable enough around him to let his apprentice see his sense of humor, whereas many people of the older man's acquaintance saw the barest glimmer of it.

Activating the datapad, Obi-Wan read quietly to himself. "Dear Obi-Wan; happy holidays to you. I confess that someone more thoughtful than I thought of this idea of sending you a gift first, but it seemed like a good one, so I went along with it. The disks are the real gift, I merely sent the holoprojector so you could have some privacy when you want to view them. The disks are coded to that 'projector only so only you can see them. What they are is a collection of images. The images are various shots of you alone, or you and I. I've sent them to you because I want you to see what I see when I look at you, or at visual evidence of the two of us as a team. I am quite proud of you, Padawan, and I count myself fortunate that I heeded the Will of the Force oh, those many years ago, and took you on as my apprentice. You, Obi-Wan, are a greater gift than I possibly deserve, and I hope to give a little of that back to you with this meager offering. Thank you, my Padawan, for giving me back a vital part of myself that I had thought I had lost years ago. Your friend and Master, Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan blinked his eyes shut tightly, trying to hold back the tears that stung his eyes. His master felt gifted by him? Just for being his student?

"Ben? Dear, are you alright?" Sarah's voice cut into his reverie.

Blinking his eyes open, he lifted his head and smiled at his mother. "Yes, Mother, I'm fine. Master Qui-Gon's letter touched me, that's all. He's sent me a gift; figured it would be a nice touch to my holiday while on Rinjornn. I can look at it later, would prefer to, in fact."

"Oh, well, if you're certain. I'll have to make some cookies for that nice Qui-Gon fellow. I'm so glad you have such a good man for a teacher, son, I really am," Sarah said, smiling at her oldest child.

"So am I, Mother, so am I." Obi-Wan wondered if anyone, his master included, knew just how glad he was.

"Well, if the excitement's over, Obi, you can get dressed and help me feed," Owen said, grinning. "Then I can show you this neat trick Danya taught me, and then you can show me those moves."

Brian laughed and leaned over to ruffle his youngest son's hair. "Owen, it's the second to last day of your brother's vacation; let him get in some last minute relaxation."

"Yeah, scuttle-butt!" Felicia teased, and grabbed up a couch cushion and whapped Owen in the head with it.

Obi-Wan curled his legs up under himself to keep them out of the way of the latest round of "sibling rivalry" and sipped at his coffee, keeping one arm wrapped protectively about his master's gift to him. He had a lot to think about, especially the regard in which Qui-Gon held their friendship. If his master was this fond of him, maybe, just maybe, there was a chance Obi-Wan would be able to approach him about a less platonic relationship. After all, his eighteenth birthday was in another few months. Who knew what could happen then?

Qui-Gon watched with barely buried excitement as the shuttle carrying his apprentice docked at the landing pad. It would be good to have the beautiful young man within arm's reach again; he'd been quite lonely without the younger man's sassy, buoyant personality greeting him each day.

A small grin shaped his mouth as his Padawan debarked from the shuttle and walked toward him. Obi-Wan waved at him, grinning, as he carried his satchel over one shoulder. When he stopped in front of his master, he bowed.

"Hello, Master! I'm back from a wonderful vacation. You really should have come with me," Obi-Wan said, grinning up at his teacher.

"Really, scamp? And why is that?" Qui-Gon asked as he ruffled Obi-Wan's hair slightly and then turned and began leading the way back into the Temple.

"Oh, well, lots of reasons. You could have enjoyed my mother's cooking and gained enough weight to give a Bantha back injuries. You could also have enjoyed talking with my father, or you could have let Owen pester you into helping him feed the livestock and then teach him defense katas. Or you could have let Felicia moon over you."

"Excuse me?" Qui-Gon replied, raising an eyebrow.

"You heard me. My sister is twelve. She has since discovered that the opposite sex is good for other things beyond target practice. Felicia saw the hologram I brought with me and has decided that you are the most perfect male in existence and that if she can hurry and grow up, she'll be just right for you. The girl is absolutely convinced that you're just right for her, being as gorgeous as you are and all," Obi-Wan teased, grinning.

"Ah, it is wonderful to have the adoration of young people, even if it is all delusional," Qui-Gon sighed. He smiled and said, "Don't worry, Obi-Wan; your sister will grow up and get over her infatuation with me. I guarantee that by the time you receive the next letter from your family, your mother will be full of news of how Felicia is hung up on some local boy or another."

Really? Obi-Wan thought to himself. I haven't seem to have gotten over my infatuation with you. Maybe it's just me. Either way, Qui-Gon, you'd better watch out, because when I turn eighteen, I'll be getting a "hunting license" and you're my target!

Grinning, the younger man kept his thoughts to himself and spoke up. "Probably. Speaking of my mother, she sent along a goody box for you. She said that just because you're on Coruscant, you're still part of the family since you're my Master and all, and therefore, it may be late, but you're getting a gift, too."

"Well, that's very thoughtful of her. I'll have to send her a thank you note in your next letter to her." Qui-Gon was flattered and appreciative that the Kenobi's had thought to include him in their roster.

"Wait until you see the gift, Master," Obi-Wan said ominously, grinning. He snickered at Qui-Gon's pretended dismay and then settled in to bask in being back in his master's presence again.

Later that evening, Qui-Gon sat in his bed with the unopened package from Sarah Kenobi in front of him.

He glanced over at his door, knowing that Obi-Wan was asleep in his own room on the other side of their quarters. He smiled and closed his eyes for a moment, simply relishing the feel of the other man's Force signature present in his vicinity again.

A moment later, he opened the package. He laughed quietly at the tin of chocolate cookies Sarah had sent him. Brian had sent along a tiny carving knife, and the two younger Kenobi children had sent him tiny gifts of their own; Owen had given him a stone carving of a hunting bird in flight, and Felicia had sent him a pretty crystal rock shaded in purple and blue. He read the note from Sarah, smiling at her praise of his teachings and her thanks for sending Obi-Wan home to them for a short visit. Then he looked into the box again and did a double take. At the bottom was a datapad marked MASTER SCOUNDREL.

Qui-Gon gave a quiet snort of laughter and lifted it out. He activated it and his eyes grew moist when he read silently, "Thank you for the gift you sent to me for the holidays, my Master. But allow me to say that the greatest gift you've ever given me was in giving me the privilege to call you 'my Master'. Again, thank you for so very much, my Master. Your scamp friend and Padawan, Obi-Wan."

Qui-Gon blinked away the sentimental tears, then grinned. He set the datapad aside so the note could be saved in his files later tomorrow, then repacked the box. He'd bring out the gifts to place later, although he was looking forward to munching on the cookies.

As he lay down, turning out the light, the Jedi Master sighed and pulled the blankets up to his chin. He smiled. He only had a few short months to wait before he could start making his moves. After all, once his beloved student became legal, who knew what could happen?