Spoilers: None, takes place a couple of years prior to TPM
Summary: Obi-Wan gets himself and his Master into trouble
Feedback: yvette@ecn.net.au Please? This is the first time I've
written Q/O, so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.
The shame of it was killing him. His Master had not said a word
since arriving, neither had Valerin's Master.
Obi-Wan took a deep, silent breath and concentrated on calming
his mind. It wouldn't do any good when he faced Yoda, but at
least he could maintain his dignity in front of Master Qui-Gon.
The other occupants in the room were equally silent. There was
little that could be said. Obi-Wan kept his eyes on the floor.
He could feel Valerin fidgeting beside him, but that was
nothing new. Valerin had never been the most patient of
apprentices. Master Toruk was at the window, staring calmly out
into the night, his back to the two apprentices and the other
Jedi Master. Qui-Gon Jinn was standing opposite the Obi-Wan,
his arms crossed, his steady gaze not leaving his Padawan's
bowed head. One swift glance at his Master when Qui-Gon had
entered the room had been enough to make Obi-Wan wish to avoid
meeting his Master's eyes.
"Obi-Wan Kenobi".
Obi-Wan followed the Temple guard down the short hallway and
into the Council Chambers. He could feel his Master standing
behind him to his left. And with a sinking heart he noted the
presence of both Yoda and Master Windu in the only two
occupied chairs in the room.
"Qui-Gon Jinn." Master Windu's voice showed none of the
irritation he was surely feeling at having been called from his
bed at this time of night.
"Yes, Master Windu." Qui-Gon's voice was also calm.
"The Jedi monitor received word two hours ago that two Jedi
were being held in the police precinct, having been arrested
during a fight that broke out in a nightclub. When our
representative arrived, Padawan Kenobi and Padawan Valerin were
released to his custody, and a full report of their behaviour
was given. They, and the others involved in the fight, are
responsible for several hundred credits worth of damage to the
club they were in, and to the shop front they destroyed during
the fight. The Council has already apologised on behalf of your
student and the other apprentice, and we have paid for the cost
of repairs to the damaged property."
Qui-Gon remained silent during the stark recitation, as did
Obi-Wan. The younger man kept his composure, and his head held
high as he stared blankly at the window several feet away. He
could feel the weight of Yoda's disapproval heavy upon him.
Master Windu, on the other hand, gave the impression that
Obi-Wan did not exist.
"The sum of two hundred and ninety three credits will be
withdrawn from your yearly disbursement. Your mission to
Dantooine will be undertaken by another team. You and your
Padawan will spend the next three months in a teaching capacity
within these walls. You will not leave the building during that
time. At the end of the three months we will review the
situation."
Qui-Gon replied evenly, "Yes, Master Windu."
Yoda had been uncharacteristically silent throughout the
proceedings. He spoke, his words bringing a flush of shame to
Obi-Wan's face that until now, he had successfully been
fighting.
"Bear the consequences of your actions, you must."
The words were a dismissal. The two Jedi bowed, and left the
room.
Qui-Gon Jinn was silent on the way back to Obi-Wan's quarters.
He strode ahead, not even looking to see if his Padawan was
following. Obi-Wan had to almost run to keep up, and was
uncomfortably reminded of a time not so long ago when his
entire life seemed to consist of running to keep up with his
Master.
The Jedi Master waved a hand towards the door panel as they
arrived and strode through the opening door without breaking
stride. Obi-Wan followed, wanting badly to be anywhere but
here. Anywhere he didn't have to meet his Master's eyes and see
the anger and the disappointment in them.
Qui-Gon Jinn's voice was deadly quiet.
"I trust you are satisfied with yourself, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan made the only response he could.
"I'm sorry, Master."
"Sorry for what, Padawan? For storming out of here in a temper
tantrum a four year old would be proud of? For embarrassing the
Temple? Are you sorry to be the first Jedi ever arrested on
Coruscant? Or perhaps you regret the fact that we've wasted
nearly two months of work planning for the mission on Dantooine
- a mission that will now be fulfilled by two other Jedi, whose
lives may be risked because of the fact that due to your
childish behaviour, they were sent on a mission they were not
prepared for. Is that why you're sorry, Padawan?"
Had his voice been raised in anger it would have been better,
somehow. But it was quiet enough that Obi-Wan had to strain to
hear him. He would have preferred a beating to this. Hours of
torture perhaps, anything but this cold, almost sarcastic use
of a title he'd always been so proud to bear.
He swallowed.
"All of it, Master. I'm sorry for all of it. I have no excuse,
Master."
There was silence then, and still Obi-Wan had not met his
Master's gaze. He could feel the pull of those eyes, but
resisted it. His shame was too much to bear already without
that, too.
The long minute stretched out between them, and with it came a
distance that had never been present in their relationship.
Obi-Wan wanted desperately to make it all right, but was too
caught up in his own nightmare to even begin to find the right
words to say. Eventually, his Master spoke again.
"Go to bed, Obi-Wan." There was resignation in his tone,
disappointment - and something else. As his Master left the
quarters Obi-Wan recognised what else. Disgust.
The following three days were an exercise in misery for the
young Jedi. He barely saw his Master at all, and Qui-Gon Jinn
had spoken less than ten words to him since the night of the
fight in the club.
Banished to an empty schoolroom on a quiet day, Obi-Wan
stretched his aching muscles for a long moment before returning
to his task. The shelves in the schoolroom were built at
children's height. All texts, picture books and learning aids
had to be organised alphabetically according to type and age
group and returned to the shelves. And given that this
particular classroom was home to more than forty students under
the age of six years old, putting the room to rights took
several hours at a time. Usually this was the task of the
students, but Qui-Gon Jinn was currently teaching them about
the living Force somewhere in the gardens. Obi-Wan grinned
briefly as he continued to stack the low shelves methodically,
wondering how his Master would be faring with forty hyperactive
youngsters.
The grin faded quickly, though. Valerin and his Master had been
sent away somewhere - Obi-Wan didn't know where. He didn't want
to ask Qui-Gon Jinn and he couldn't ask anyone else so he
remained in ignorance. The other Padawans who had been so
friendly a few short days ago were now avoiding him. Obi-Wan
couldn't blame them. He was clearly trouble. Since before he'd
even become Qui-Gon's Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been aware of
his Master's reputation. Qui-Gon Jinn was the ultimate Jedi. A
man of action, a powerful and elegant fighter, a Jedi strong
with the Force, who used it to further peace throughout the
Galaxy. Apprentices told stories of his great deeds, the
younger children looked up to him like a God. And all of them
were well aware that because of the thoughtless and childish
actions of his Padawan, the great Qui-Gon Jinn had been
restricted to the Temple for three months. Obi-Wan avoided the
accusing looks from the other Padawans, but it was a physical
pain to watch the other Masters glance his way, and then glance
at Qui-Gon Jinn with the faintly raised eyebrows that seemed to
ask if the great Master had failed with yet another Padawan.
He'd finished the shelves along one side of the room, and stood
to walk over to the other side. Previously he'd sorted all the
books into the correct piles, but the act of stooping down to
painstakingly stack the books in their correct sequence was
giving his back hell. He should be concentrating on feeling the
pain, allowing it to alert his body to the aching muscles, and
then giving it to the Force. But he didn't have the energy to
do so. Or perhaps he was just too stubborn to let it go.
It had been the first fight he'd ever had with his Master.
//"Keep your attention on the here and now, Obi-Wan. Your mind
wanders far too much for a Jedi. If you cannot come to terms
with the living Force you will never become a Knight."
The was more than a trace of impatience in Qui-Gon Jinn's tone,
and Obi-Wan knew why. This was the sixth time today his Master
had been forced to call his attention back to the tedious task
they had been undertaking for the last four days.
A month had been spent traveling the trade routes between
Dantooine and it's neighbouring systems, discovering what they
needed to know about the illegal trade embargoes that were
threatening to draw several systems into armed warfare. That,
at least, had been interesting work. The preliminary talks with
the Dantooine Senate had also yielded some fascinating
information, and Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan had returned to the
Jedi Temple to report to the Council and plan for their mission
on Dantooine. Several days now had been spent in tedious
research. They needed to know about the cultures involved in
the trade routes, the history of the planets, the governmental
structure, and much, much more. The immense amount of
information required dissemination to a short, concise report
for the Council before they left on their mission. It was
driving Obi-Wan crazy.
"I'm sorry, Master." It had been so frequent a refrain over the
past few days, Obi-Wan was considering getting it recorded to
play back at will and save his voice.
"Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon Jinn sounded angry now, and Obi-Wan's head
snapped up from the text in front of him in surprise at the
bite in his Master's tone.
"Master?"
"Not every task for a Jedi involves something exciting,
Obi-Wan. There will be many times in the future when your
mission will be something very dull and very tedious. If you
choose to sulk and behave childishly every time you are asked
to perform a task you find boring, you will discover that the
Council has little interest in entrusting you with the role of
a Jedi Knight."
It was the lack of sleep, maybe, or just the incredible
frustration that had building inside him for months, but for
once Obi-Wan did not apologize meekly and back down.
"We've been doing this for seven hours, Master. You know
as well as I do that the situation is not that urgent.
Surely a few hours of relaxation would not cripple the
Dantooine economy?" There was no missing the sarcasm in
Obi-Wan's voice.
It was annoying to find that his discourtesy, instead of
visibly angering his Master, seemed to have the opposite
effect. Qui-Gon Jinn looked as calm and relaxed as ever, and
his voice was very even.
"And you would rather be out with your friends? Or one friend
in particular, perhaps?"
Obi-Wan met his Master's calm gaze with a mulish look.
"You said I could go out with Valerin tonight." He fought, and
failed, to keep the whine from his tone.
"I said you could go if you finished the task you are working
on. And if you had applied yourself two hours ago, you would be
finished now."
That logic was as annoying as it was unarguable. Obi-Wan didn't
even bother to reply. He just keyed in the next sequence of
information and returned his gaze to his reader. The look on
his face spoke volumes, however. He was angry and frustrated
and horny and fed up.
There was silence for a moment before his Master spoke again.
"You may leave, Padawan." It wasn't a pleasant request. His
Master was clearly fed up to the back teeth with his behaviour.
Obi-Wan flicked off his reader and stood up. The text he had
been working on fell to the floor and he picked it up and
tossed it back on the desk before turning and walking away
without a word. His behaviour was beyond rudeness, beyond
anything that was acceptable behaviour for a Padawan, and he
almost expected to hear his Master's voice calling him back.
But there was nothing but silence behind him.//
The shelves were done now, and there was nothing more to do
than straighten the chairs and tables, clean off the board,
reset the display units and put all the brightly coloured
blocks away. Stifling a sigh, Obi-Wan set to work on the
furniture.
His date with Valerin had not gone well.
For a start, Obi-Wan hadn't been in the mood to go out and have
fun. He'd only gone to spite Qui-Gon Jinn, really. Knowing just
how childish and inexcusable his behaviour was didn't make him
remedy it, however. He couldn't face another night with his
Master. Another night wasted, dreaming about forbidden sex,
calling his Master by his given name, kissing him, touching
him, tasting him. Another wet dream starring his untouchable
Master, another morning spent avoiding that all-knowing gaze.
Obi-Wan was no virgin, but of late it seemed that this
obsession with his Master was destroying every vestige of Jedi
instinct within him. His timing was off, his training sessions
ended with more bruises than anything else. He couldn't
concentrate, his sleep cycles were erratic. His body was this
entire mass of need and Qui-Gon Jinn still treated him
like a twelve year old.
He'd been moody and uncommunicative when he'd caught up with
Valerin, and had sat nursing his drink for the first half hour
of their date. What he wanted was sex. No, what he wanted was a
good, hard, fucking - one that would drive away all of his
demons for a few short weeks. Valerin would have been more than
happy to oblige, but before they'd had a chance to leave the
fight had broken out in the club they were in and the Jedi were
drawn into it. They shouldn't have been there in the first
place, should certainly have made a quick exit as soon as
trouble broke out, but the best laid plans...............
The arrest was embarrassing. The interview with Master Windu
and Yoda was humiliating. But these were things that could be
overcome. The distance between he and his Master was something
Obi-Wan was beginning to despair of ever closing.
Wearily, he finished his tasks in the schoolroom, then made his
way back to his room. If he could just grab a couple of hours
sleep, he'd be able to face the crowd at dinner. Sinking onto
his bed at long last, Obi-Wan was asleep before he'd even
bothered to remove his boots.
"Obi-Wan."
"Obi-Wan!"
The insistent voice pierced his slumber finally. Obi-Wan raised
his head from the bed, and looked blearily up at his Master. He
rolled over onto his back and sat up, swinging his feet over
the side of the bed to rest on the floor. He was tired and
aching and the short nap had done little to stem the exhaustion
that had seeped into his bones sometime over the past month or
so.
"Yes, Master?" There was no disrespect in his tone. There was
no emotion in his tone at all. He didn't have the energy for
it.
"You were required to assist with the evening meal half an hour
ago. Master Ennaan called me on the communicator to find
out where you were." Qui-Gon didn't look angry, but then he
rarely looked angry.
Obi-Wan sighed. He hadn't been told to report to the kitchens,
but he had no doubt there would be a message requesting his
presence on his mail reader. He just hadn't bothered to check
it today.
"I'll go now." He rose from the bed and walked to the door,
only to stop when his Master's next words sunk in.
"I asked Master Ennaan to excuse you."
Obi-Wan turned back to his Master. It had been so long since
he'd heard Qui-Gon Jinn's voice without the underlying
impatience it felt like he was listening to a stranger.
"Why?," he asked baldly.
His Master frowned.
"You've been working hard, Padawan. There was a time not so
long ago that I had to practically tie you down to the bed to
get you to sleep, and now I find my twenty year old Padawan
taking a nap in the middle of the afternoon."
The gentle humour in Qui-Gon Jinn's voice was also something
Obi-Wan hadn't heard for a long time. To his dismay, he could
feel tears prickling at the back of his eyelids. He blinked
them away quickly, hoping his Master hadn't noticed.
"I haven't been sleeping well of late, Master," Obi-Wan
admitted.
"I know, Padawan. I ask too much of you sometimes. I forget how
young you are. The events of the other night - it was a foolish
thing to do, Obi-Wan, but I should have been more
understanding. I hope you will forgive me."
The speech was sincerely given, but it had the very unfortunate
effect of getting Obi-Wan's back up instantly. He was sick of
being treated like a five year old.
"That's not the reason my concentration has been lacking
lately, Master. I'm not a child anymore!"
"Meaning?"
Obi-Wan met the too calm gaze furiously, his anger directed
more at himself than his Master. It needed to be said though,
and it was with a sense of relief that he unburdened himself
after all this time.
"Meaning that just because you've chosen a life of
celibacy doesn't mean I want to! I have the same needs
any man of my age has and I should at least have the freedom to
see to those needs occasionally." He was practically yelling by
the end of that, and at the raised eyebrow and look of surprise
on his Master's face he realised that fact and consciously took
a deep breath, attempting to calm himself down.
"When have I denied you the freedom to see to your natural
urges, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked dryly. "We haven't shared a bed
since before your fourteenth birthday - we don't bathe
together, and I have always managed to give you at the very
least a few hours each week completely to yourself. You've been
invited to any number of receptions, and have no doubt received
the same sort of invitations I frequently have - I've always
given you the privacy to take up any of those offers you
wished. I have never questioned what you do with your private
time, Padawan. Perhaps I should have commanded you to use the
time to masturbate, but I confess, it didn't occur to me that
you would require a direct order from me to do so."
Obi-Wan found himself reddening again and was doubly furious
with his lack of control. What was so much worse was that there
was no reply he could make. His sexual frustration was his own
fault - not his Master's. He'd had plenty of offers to share
the beds of some beautiful men and women, and had turned most
of them down, preferring to spend the time mooning over his
Master, fantasizing about making love to Qui-Gon.
The silence stretched past the point where Obi-Wan could
answer, and the Padawan closed his eyes briefly in
self-disgust. Could he humiliate himself any more in one day?
As though in answer to his silent question, there was a sound
at the door as Master Windu pointedly cleared his throat.
"Master Qui-Gon - you are required in the Council Chamber."
"Yes, my Master." Qui-Gon bowed slightly and left the room.
Mace Windu did not follow him immediately. As soon as Obi-Wan
realised that fact, he turned and faced the older Jedi with
what he fervently hoped was a look of polite attentiveness.
"May I help you, Master Windu?"
"I see you and your Master are using your time at the Temple
productively, by examining any problems within your bond."
It was always hard to tell whether Master Windu was being
ironic, sarcastic or sincere. Obi-Wan nodded and gave the
briefest of polite smiles in response.
The Council Elder watched him for a moment.
"Where did you get the idea that Qui-Gon was a celibate?"
Master Windu's voice was threaded with amusement.
Obi-Wan was taken aback, completely unprepared for the
question.
"Ah......well, he's never ....... I mean, he doesn't
..........." he wasn't stuttering, he just had no idea how to
frame that particular sentence.
Master Windu's expression now matched his tone.
"You should be more careful about jumping to conclusions,
Obi-Wan. Qui-Gon Jinn has been involved in a sexual
relationship for the past ten years."
Obi-Wan stood stock still, the blaze of fury and jealousy
sweeping his body in an instant.
"Who?" It was more of a demand than a question, and the
amusement left Master Windu's face instantly at his tone.
"That is none of your concern, Obi-Wan. And now I would suggest
that you apply yourself to the tasks your Master has left you."
He left with a swirl of the long robe, leaving a dumbfounded
young Jedi behind him.
Qui-Gon Jinn took a deep breath before speaking, attempting to
control his temper.
"Perhaps the reason the talks aren't going well, Master Yoda,
is because the Jedi you sent were not adequately prepared. I
understand the need for an effective punishment for Obi-Wan's
behaviour, but I cannot condone the logic of risking something
as important as the Dantooine situation because of a foolish
boy's mistake."
"Decided already, we had, to send another Jedi pair to
Dantooine." Yoda's voice was calm in the dimly lit council
chambers.
Qui-Gon Jinn was dumbfounded. This, he had not expected.
"Why?"
It was Mace Windu who replied.
"Your conduct right now is reason enough Qui-Gon. Our
observations were correct. You and your Padawan are both in
urgent need of a break from your duties."
Qui-Gon Jinn raised one hand to the bridge of his nose,
massaging it in an effort to rid himself of the headache he'd
had for what seemed like forever. Even as he did so, though, he
felt the wise gazes of his oldest friend and former Master upon
him. His hand dropped to his side and he breathed out slowly,
understanding finally what it was that they had seen and he had
not. Master Windu put it into words.
"You and Obi-Wan have been working continuously for the past
eight months. Dangerous missions, frequently requiring long
hours, and arduous physical demands. All Jedi require time for
meditation, reflection. Time to explore our own awareness of
the living Force. Those of us with training can withstand
immense physical, mental and emotional tolls by using the
Force. But there is a limit. And even though you have clearly
been using all of your efforts to keep pushing yourself at this
incredible pace, the strain has been showing in your
behaviour."
He was right, of course. Qui-Gon had been so used to this
ever-present weariness that it had become second nature to
compensate for it. But he, at least, had several decades of
training to call upon, whereas Obi-Wan.............
"Yes, Master Qui-Gon." Mace Windu's voice was wry as he
followed the direction of Qui-Gon's thoughts without
difficulty. "It was inevitable that Obi-Wan would bend under
the pressure in some way. Be thankful it was something minor,
and did not come at a greater cost."
Qui-Gon Jinn was silent for several long moments. There was
something else he was supposed to understand from this
conversation, but it remained elusive, whispering on the edges
of his consciousness. He followed the faint thought as Yoda and
Mace Windu waited patiently.
"The night Obi-Wan was bought before you," he hazarded, feeling
more certain he was on the right track as Yoda nodded.
Qui-Gon frowned, and there was a question in his next
statement. "You told Obi-Wan that he would have to bear the
consequences of his actions."
"No." Master Yoda's voice was gentle. "Speaking to you,
I was."
Qui-Gon Jinn removed his boots slowly, leaving them to fall
where they dropped, on the floor next to the bed. He had been
meditating for several hours before joining his lover, who was
sitting up in bed, reading.
"You know tonight has been the first time I've successfully
meditated in over three months?" There was still a trace of
amazement in Qui-Gon's voice as he struggled to come to terms
with his complete blindness concerning his own state of mind
over the past few months.
His lover nodded, watching as Qui-Gon stood, stripped off the
rest of his clothes, and finally got into bed. The Jedi Master
clearly needed to talk things out, so his lover patiently put
the reader aside.
"It was before the mission on Bnuge. We had to live in the
caves for twelve days before the Bnugians would talk to us.
Twelve days sleeping on stone floors, eating off the land. And
after Bnuge it was Corellia, then Kampin. We never had time for
training anymore, it was hard enough finding the time for basic
drills. And Obi-Wan seemed so tense all the time - I
kept promising myself I would find out what was bothering him,
but there was always something else that required my attention.
I've failed him completely. Here I am, teaching him to be aware
of himself, of the living Force, and all the while completely
ignoring my own teachings."
"There's something else, though, I think." His lover's voice
was gentle.
"Why do you always do this, Mace?" Qui-Gon sounded resigned.
Mace Windu smiled.
"Because I am your oldest friend, your occasional lover.
Because I know you better than anyone else."
Qui-Gon Jinn ran the back of one finger down Mace Windu's cheek
affectionately.
"It's been good, hasn't it?" His lover appeared to have no
trouble interpreting the ambiguous statement.
"When M'Sona died, I wanted to die too. You bought me out of
that, Qui-Gon. You helped me back to the way of the light. And
when we became lovers, it was a convenient liaison for us both.
There has never been anything more than mutual desire and close
friendship for either of us. But things have changed for you."
Qui-Gon sighed.
"Obi-Wan."
"I suspected for some time that you were falling in love with
your Padawan, Qui-Gon. But I was sure of it the night he and
Valerin were arrested."
Qui-Gon raised one eyebrow in silent query.
"Your thoughts were of him. Before, after .......... and
during."
Qui-Gon grimaced.
"I'm sorry, Mace. I thought my shielding was better than that."
His ex-lover laughed out loud.
"Qui-Gon, your shields have been pitiful for the past year.
Ever since your Padawan turned twenty you've been fighting
against your own feelings for him, trying to pretend he's still
a boy. Added to that the incredible workload you've both been
under, plus your denial of the very real nature of his feelings
for you and you end up with trouble."
Qui-Gon winced at Mace's directness. His best friend wasn't
finished, though.
"How you've managed to stay alive amazes me. You've known for a
long time that he wants you, and we both know how badly
you want him - what's the matter with you? You know the Council
approves of relationships between Jedi. We'd give you any help
you needed to strengthen your bond. Why are you holding back?"
"A thousand reasons."
"Name one."
Qui-Gon held up his fingers as he counted each one off.
"I'm too old for him, what he feels for me is lust, not love,
he's currently fucking someone else."
Mace Windu snorted.
"You're not too old for him, he was in love with you long
before he started lusting after you, and so are you."
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow, amused.
"Is that an invitation?"
"No. You can sleep here tonight, but after that you're back in
your own bed. Not that it hasn't been good for both of us, but
I can live without your relationship angst, thank you."
There was silence for a long moment between the two friends
before Qui-Gon spoke again.
"My track record is not exactly the best when it comes to
love."
Mace Windu settled down under the covers, laying his head on
the pillow with a sigh of contentment.
"In order to have a track record, you'd actually have to spend
some time on the track, Qui-Gon. You love him. He loves you.
Now go to sleep."
A wave of one dark hand put the light out, and before too long
Mace Windu was snoring softly beside him. Qui-Gon stayed awake
for a little while longer, smiling fondly at the familiar
sound. Mace was his best friend, and a considerate and
passionate lover, but their relationship had never been about
love. Maybe it was time to talk to Obi-Wan about some things.
Obi-Wan was seated at a table by himself and trying not to
care. The other Padawans had avoided him since he and his
Master had been restricted to the Temple, and Obi-Wan had no
desire to foist his presence onto them by joining one of the
many crowded tables in the dining room. He ate steadily,
wanting to finish the meal and leave the room as soon as
possible. So absorbed in his task, was he, that he didn't hear
anyone approach until Valerin dropped down into the seat
opposite him.
"Sith!, Obi-Wan - you look miserable as hell! What have they
been doing to you?" Valerin sounded cheerful but his eyes were
full of concern for his friend.
Obi-Wan looked up in surprise and smiled for the first time in
days.
"Valerin! When did you get back?"
"Just now. My Master thinks I would benefit from some 'serious
training'. I'm thinking of cutting his throat tonight in his
sleep and escaping out the back way. Are you up for it?"
Valerin's familiar grin was a balm to Obi-Wan's loneliness and
he laughed at his friend's comments. Master Toruk was famous
for giving incredibly strenuous physical exercise as
punishment, so 'serious training' could only mean many hours of
pain ahead of Valerin. It didn't seem to bother his friend too
much, though.
"Only if we can do my Master while we're at it."
Valerin raised a dubious eyebrow.
"Don't tell me the Demi-God has fallen from his pedestal?"
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.
"I knew I'd regret telling you how I felt about him. And you
promised you wouldn't give me shit about it, Valerin. And no -
it's not what he's done. It's what I've done. As usual."
"Burned his oatmeal? Washed his whites with his formal robe?"
Valerin grinned.
"You're a funny guy, Valerin. Really hilarious. Truly," Obi-Wan
said admiringly. "This universe could really use a Jedi
comedian."
Valerin chuckled.
"Don't change the subject. What did you do that was so bad?"
"I made a complete fool of myself. He apologised for treating
me harshly over the arrest thing and I completely lost it. I
practically accused him of deliberately setting out to destroy
my sex life and now he thinks I'm some kind of weirdo who
doesn't know how to jerk off."
Valerin's jaw dropped and he shook his head ruefully.
"You two have a very strange relationship. Why don't you just
tell him you love him, Obi-Wan? If things are this bad without
telling him, maybe they'll get better if you're truthful."
There was no missing the look of wretchedness on Obi-Wan's face
now.
"He's been in a sexual relationship for the past ten years.
Master Windu told me. All this time I've been passing it off as
his choice to be a celibate, telling myself that if it wasn't
for that, he'd want me. He'd never want me."
Valerin looked sympathetic. He didn't know Master Qui-Gon at
all except for what Obi-Wan told him about his Master, and
couldn't in all conscience tell Obi-Wan to come clean about his
feelings. If Qui-Gon Jinn had been in a relationship for the
past ten years, it was clearly something serious. His heart
went out to his friend.
"There's only one remedy for a broken heart, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan smiled sadly.
"Let me guess. A night of serious fucking, right?"
"How did you guess?"
"Because that's your remedy for everything from a headache to a
poor performance review." Obi-Wan sighed. "I don't know,
Valerin - once, just once I'd like to spend the night
making love instead of fucking, you know?"
Valerin smiled in sympathy, and neither apprentice noticed
Master Windu and Master Qui-Gon pausing briefly as they passed
the table on their way to their own dinner. If they had, they
would surely have noticed the stricken look in Master Qui-Gon
Jinn's beautiful blue eyes
Thrust. Turn. Spin. Step. Repeat. He'd been doing the basic
move for over an hour now, and he was finally in the familiar
zone, one with the Force, his body a smooth poetry of movement.
There was no thought, no emotion, just the Force. The ache of
his muscles, the burning in his arms and legs, his breath even,
heartbeat strong. It felt good.
Without breaking step he moved the pace up another notch,
adding a leap to his routine. His leggings and sleeveless
workout top were soaked with sweat, but he didn't notice. There
was only the Force.
His Master watched him from across the room, enjoying as always
the sheer beauty that was Obi-Wan in motion. Other Padawans
worked out in the enormous room, some with their Masters,
others with each other, but by some unspoken agreement they
left Obi-Wan enough space to continue his routine alone.
Obi-Wan had moved up yet another level, and was easily
completing a routine that most Padawans would not have the
courage to attempt. Just watching him made Qui-Gon ache. It
wasn't his Padawan's beauty that hurt, more the fact that he
knew he had failed Obi-Wan over the past few months.
Obi-Wan was one of the finest fighters Qui-Gon Jinn had ever
seen. His weaknesses came from other areas - his concentration,
his awareness of the living Force, his insecurity and
dependence. But from early on Qui-Gon had always been astounded
at Obi-Wan's talent with a lightsaber, his confidence with his
body and the limits to which he could push it.
There were a couple of Padawans watching Obi-Wan now, and
Qui-Gon could see a Master on the other side of the room
quietly using Obi-Wan's routine as a training tool for his own
student. Obi-Wan was at the highest level now, moving so fast
and so smoothly it was truly incredible to watch. At least
Master's failings hadn't wrought a more serious effect on
Obi-Wan's skills.
Qui-Gon approached the area where his guide was working out,
and when he reached the edge of the mat he removed his outer
cloak and powered up his lightsaber. As he adjusted the setting
to practice level, he could sense Obi-Wan's recognition of his
presence, and stepped onto the mat. As Obi-Wan bought his
lightsaber down hard in the middle of the routine, Qui-Gon hit
out with his own, and the two sabers struck with a powerful
force that swung both men into action.
There was no light warm-up, no practice time now. Obi-Wan moved
with swift surety, his saber a blur of light as he went fully
on the attack. Qui-Gon met the attack, moving backwards with
equal grace, before kicking out and catching Obi-Wan off guard.
His Padawan fell back, but immediately regained his balance,
flipping through the air to almost catch Qui-Gon unprepared.
The Jedi Master changed style mid-stream, swinging down with a
killing blow of the lightsaber before one swipe of his free
hand pushed the Force towards his apprentice. Obi-Wan ducked
the blow and swung around, but was unprepared for the sweep of
energy directed at his knees. He fell, losing his lightsaber,
but rolled away instantly when Qui-Gon followed up his attack.
One hand reached out and the fallen lightsaber flew to it,
igniting in the same movement to swiftly counter the attack
from his Master.
It was Qui-Gon's turn now to feel the full brunt of Obi-Wan's
skill. The younger Jedi used his incredible speed and agility
to full advantage, keeping the more powerful Jedi constantly on
the defensive as they continued to spar. Several times Qui-Gon
came close to defeat, but he held on. The Force flowed through
them both, binding Master and Padawan together, and there was
nothing else but the two of them and the pure joy of this
exercise. Obi-Wan's attack became even more aggressive, and
Qui-Gon took advantage, using a move he rarely deployed during
fighting in order to catch Obi-Wan at a disadvantage. As
Obi-Wan pressed forward, his Master deflected the blow with his
saber and launched himself into the air, over Obi-Wan's head,
bringing his own lightsaber down instantly and stopping it a
hair's breath away from Obi-Wan's neck.
Obi-Wan froze, then powered down his lightsaber with a rueful
laugh. He turned to face Qui-Gon.
"One day, Master. One day."
Qui-Gon laughed also, enjoying this moment with his Padawan. It
was only the generous applause of the spectators that
distracted them both from their sudden fascination with each
other. Their workout had attracted quite a crowd.
As the two men walked off the mat, Qui-Gon put an arm around
his sweating, laughing Padawan.
"You came very close today, Padawan. I see I'm going to have to
work harder in order to keep up with you."
"I wasn't expecting that jump and I should have been able to
compensate." Obi-Wan replied regretfully.
His Master handed him a towel.
"We'll work on it." The words said more than the simple promise
and Obi-Wan looked up to meet his Master's gaze for the first
time in a long time. What he saw there warmed him all the way
through and his grin lit up his entire face.
"Yes, Master."
Their relationship improved radically after the workout. Master
Windu had seen to it that they were given shared duties, and so
they spent much of their time together. Their workout sessions
gradually reached higher and higher levels of difficulty, and
it was not unusual for their sparring to last for an hour or
more at a time. They frequently attracted a crowd during these
matches, and as both men were natural performers it was a
pleasure to work together in this way.
Qui-Gon set aside time each day to work on other things -
training he had neglected for the past several months. And
though Obi-Wan grumbled outwardly, he was nonetheless pleased
to have his Master's attention fixed firmly on him for the
first time in a long while.
They worked out with other Jedi, Masters and Padawans both, and
were never bested. Each time they fought as a team they seemed
to get stronger and even more invulnerable. Yoda watched from a
distance, always a thoughtful look on his face. And Master
Windu not only dropped in on occasion, but actually joined in
the training more than once. It was so rare to see one of the
Jedi on the Council actually use his lightsaber that these
bouts became the most popular of all in the Temple. Sometimes
Obi-Wan would fight Master Windu, other times it was his
Master, but always it ended with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan taking on
the revered Jedi Master. And winning. It was a good lesson for
the younger Padawans. No Jedi is invulnerable.
There was only one subject they didn't talk about. But it was
there between them, nonetheless. Obi-Wan struggled to come to
terms with his jealousy, and the hurt that came with the
knowledge that his Master had been involved in a relationship
for over a decade and had never seen fit to tell his Padawan
about it. It could only be another Jedi. Obi-Wan had travelled
with Qui-Gon Jinn for over eight years, and in that time they
had traversed the galaxy several times. The only place they saw
familiar faces was on Coruscant, and at the Temple. He kept a
close watch on Qui-Gon's comings and goings, particularly
watching where his Master slept. When they travelled together,
they were given one room more often than not. But at the Temple
the line between Masters and Padawans was made more distinct,
and the Masters had their own quarters several floors away from
the Padawans. Obi-Wan overcame the problem of distance by
always turning up as early as possible at his Master's
quarters, in order to either catch his mysterious lover
leaving, or catch Qui-Gon returning from his lover's quarters.
Two months into their suspension and he was still none the
wiser. Three times he had found excuses to call on Qui-Gon very
late at night, and each time his Master was quite alone. It was
getting frustrating.
It was worse for Qui-Gon Jinn. There was no real way of keeping
a constant check on his Padawan, and with Valerin sharing the
same floor as Obi-Wan, it seemed likely that the two of them
were sleeping together. Despite this, the experienced Jedi
Master was, for once, thankful for his restriction to the
Temple. The time spent with Obi-Wan was as pleasurable as
always, but it was a relief not to have to give his attention
to a mission for once, and to be able to concentrate on his own
feelings. Having finally admitted to himself that he loved his
Padawan, Qui-Gon was at once beset with a whole range of other
emotions he'd rather not have had to deal with.
Jealousy was not something any Jedi would be proud of feeling.
He worked through it, accepted the emotion and then gave it to
the Force. It could be dealt with. The words Obi-Wan had spoken
that night in the dining hall remained with him, though. Who
was this Valerin that he could have Obi-Wan and not love him?
Yoda always preached to be mindful of one's dreams. Qui-Gon
toyed with the thought of sharing some of his latest dreams
with his old Master and dismissed the thought after a brief
grin. Yoda would not be shocked - he'd seen just about
everything there was to see - but there was no way Qui-Gon was
sharing his images of his Padawan with anyone else.
His nights were spent dreaming of Obi-Wan - naked, in Qui-Gon's
bed where he belonged. He had seen Obi-Wan nude and it was no
hardship imagining that smooth, lean body pressed against him,
Obi-Wan's mouth opening under his own, his cock pushing up
against his Master's body. Qui-Gon was too old to be having wet
dreams, but when reality was watching Valerin flirt with
Obi-Wan, dreams were all he had.
Obi-Wan sighed to himself after the climax from his dream
bought him fully awake. It was late at night, still a good six
hours before he had to get up, and he hated having to get up
and wash himself down. Not that he wanted to give up his dreams
- they were the only sex he'd been getting lately. It was just
so hard to face Qui-Gon in the mornings when he'd been mentally
fucking him all night long. Their time together was precious to
him, but being so near him and being unable to touch him was
agony. Valerin would have been happy to relieve his itch, but
Obi-Wan couldn't bring himself to sleep with his friend.
There was a knock on his door and it startled him. Who would be
knocking at this time of night? He grabbed a robe, threw it on
and opened the door to his quarters. Valerin glanced down the
hallway quickly, and stepped into the room, keying the door
closed as he did so. Obi-Wan was surprised to see him, to say
the least.
"Val, what the hell are you doing here?"
Valerin grinned. "We're breaking out."
"What!?!"
"It'll just be for a couple of hours, Obi-Wan. We'll have a
couple of drinks, maybe a dance or two, and be back before
dawn. C'mon - Xera's on duty at the front desk and she'll let
us back in. No-one will ever know."
It was tempting - for about a second.
"No way, Valerin! I've only just started getting things sorted
with Master Qui-Gon. I'm not going to risk all that for a night
out."
Valerin rolled his eyes in disgust.
"Master Qui-Gon, Master Qui-Gon. That's all you ever talk
about! If he's so fucking great, how come he doesn't know
you're in love with him, huh? Are you going to stay celibate
for the rest of your life, like some pet waiting for him to
throw a morsel your way? Where's your pride, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan went from zero to angry in about two seconds flat.
"Fuck off, Valerin. If you want to risk your Knighthood, go
ahead. I'm not coming with you."
Valerin stood glaring at him for a long moment, before turning
to leave.
"Fine. Go back to bed and jerk off to fantasies about the great
Qui-Gon Jinn. Have a nice time, Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan flushed at the truth of his words, but did nothing to
stop his friend leaving. After the door shut behind Valerin, he
took his robe off and went back to bed.
"Obi-Wan."
"Obi-Wan!"
It was deja-vu. Someone was interrupting his slumber, only this
time it wasn't his Master. Obi-Wan opened one eye wearily, to
find Xera leaning over his bed. The female Padawan looked
worried.
Obi-Wan sat up.
"What is it?"
"It's Valerin. He's drunk and he can't get back on his own. The
Manager of the club he went to called the front desk to ask us
to send someone to pick him up."
Obi-Wan wondered if he looked as confused as he felt.
"Well, is Master Toruk........?"
Xera shook her head impatiently.
"I'm on duty on the front desk, Obi-Wan. The call came in to me
and I came here straight away."
"Why didn't you call Valerin's Master?"
Xera looked upset.
"He's in enough trouble as it is, Obi-Wan. Valerin told me that
if he screwed up one more time, Master Toruk was going to
recommend him for the AirCorps. He'd never be a Knight,
Obi-Wan."
Obi-Wan groaned. "Xera............."
"Look, I know it goes against everything we're taught, but
........... Valerin got me through flight training, Obi-Wan. He
helped me pass my exams. I would never had become a Padawan
unless I'd passed flight." Neither Padawan mentioned the fact
that Xera had been in love with Valerin for a long time.
Obi-Wan shook his head, resigned. Valerin had been a good
friend to him, too.
"What do you want me to do?"
"I have to stay on the front desk, but you could go to the club
and get him. I'll let you back in, and we'll get him sobered up
before morning."
Obi-Wan thought about it. What was important was getting Val to
safety. His Master would understand.
"Okay - I'll help you."
Qui-Gon Jinn was not expecting anyone to come knocking on the
door to his quarters so early in the morning, but he rose
immediately from his bed, grabbed a robe to cover his naked
frame, and opened the door.
Mace Windu looked at his friend, and from the expression on his
face, Qui-Gon knew instantly that something was badly wrong.
"Obi-Wan?"
Master Windu nodded, and followed Qui-Gon back into his
quarters, watching as the Jedi Master swiftly dressed.
"Valerin went out last night. He got drunk in a club and Xera
talked Obi-Wan into going to get him. Obi-Wan retrieved him
from the club, but their transport was involved in an accident
on their way back to the Temple. Valerin wasn't hurt, but
Obi-Wan is in the medical bay. He was injured quite badly,
Qui-Gon."
Qui-Gon was fully dressed now, hair pulled back into the neat
ponytail, lightsaber hanging from his belt. He strode past Mace
Windu as the older man finished speaking and headed for the
medical bay without a word.
The medical bay seemed full of people but it was Obi-Wan who
caught Qui-Gon's attention immediately. He was lying on the
bed, clearly unconscious, and there were two medical droids
working on him. Xera was standing miserably to one side, and
Valerin was near Obi-Wan's bed. The apprentice looked up at
Qui-Gon's entrance, his expression pleading for forgiveness.
"I'm sorry, Master Qui.........." Whatever words he had been
going to speak withered up under the full force of the furious
glare from Qui-Gon Jinn. The Jedi Master waved one hand
dismissively and Valerin virtually flew across the room,
hitting the wall with an audible thump. He was helped to his
feet by Xera, and the two were escorted from the room by Master
Toruk, who had arrived just in time to see his Padawan flying
across the room. Qui-Gon Jinn ignored everything but Obi-Wan,
moving to sit beside the bed. He took one limp hand between two
of his own and bought it to his lips and closed his eyes,
concentrating on using the Force to assist in his Padawan's
healing.
Mace Windu surveyed the scene in the room and decided to let
Qui-Gon be for now. It was only he and droids, and between
them, they would more than likely nurse Obi-Wan back to health.
What had to be dealt with now were the two Padawans waiting in
the ante-room, and the Jedi Master who had clearly failed in
the training of Valerin.
Master Windu closed the door to the medical bay and began
clearing up the mess.
Obi-Wan woke to a dim, quiet room and was at once grateful that
his head didn't ache. Followed quickly on the heels of that
thought was a question - why would his head be aching? As he
bought a hand up to his forehead the memories of the crash
returned slowly. He was in the infirmary.
Obi-Wan looked over to the side of the bed to see his Master
sleeping in the chair. Qui-Gon Jinn looked exhausted as his
Padawan felt, his head propped up on one hand as his tall frame
slumped in a chair completely inadequate for the purpose. As
Obi-Wan gave a brief thought to wonder how long he'd been here,
his Master stirred and woke.
The familiar blue eyes met his and Qui-Gon Jinn immediately
straightened.
"Obi-Wan - how do you feel?" His Master was on his feet before
even finishing the sentence, one hand automatically going to
Obi-Wan's forehead, the other tucking in covers that had been
pushed down. Obi-Wan smiled tiredly, recalling many times in
his youth when Qui-Gon Jinn had coddled him through accident,
illness and injury.
"I'm fine, Master. How's Valerin?"
His Master frowned, and immediately stopped fussing. Obi-Wan
instantly regretted having asked.
"He's uninjured," Qui-Gon replied shortly.
Obi-Wan could not help his own answering frown of worry - he
hated it when his Master was angry with him but he was too
tired to get into it tonight. His Master's expression softened
slightly, and he ran a thumb gently over the crease in
Obi-Wan's brow.
"Go to sleep, Obi-Wan. We'll talk about it in the morning."
His Padawan meant to say, Yes Master, but only managed the
first two syllables before succumbing to sleep again. He missed
the gentle smile Qui-Gon gave his reply.
"Are you brainless? You almost got yourself killed!" Qui-Gon
Jinn wasn't yelling, exactly, but he was clearly angry.
Already Obi-Wan was missing the relative security of his
infirmary bed. His Master had waited until Obi-Wan was released
from the infirmary, and was back in his own quarters before
letting loose.
"I'm sorry, Master. I knew how close Valerin was to losing any
chance of becoming a Knight - I just wanted to help him."
Qui-Gon Jinn shook his head.
"He's lost that chance anyway, Obi-Wan. Your friend was sent to
the AirCorps yesterday morning."
Obi-Wan nodded sorrowfully.
"I know. Xera told me he'd gone. She said he was putting a
brave face on it - I mean, he's a good pilot and they'll need
someone with his training - but I know he would have been
devastated. I didn't even get to say goodbye."
"Be thankful it wasn't you leaving and not him, Obi-Wan. You
wouldn't have gone to the AirCorps either, you would probably
have been sent to the AgriCorps. Would helping him have been
worth losing your Knighthood, Padawan?" Qui-Gon's voice
was gentler now, but firm.
Obi-Wan paled at the thought. Losing his chance at becoming a
Jedi Knight - losing his Master............. it didn't bear
thinking about.
"No, Master." His voice was subdued.
"Then help me to understand, Obi-Wan. Except for a few recent
problems, you've been an exemplary Padawan and I know Xera also
has an excellent disciplinary record. What is it about Valerin
that makes you both lose your minds like this?" The question
had to be asked and Qui-Gon Jinn mentally prepared himself for
the answer. Could Obi-Wan have done it out of love?
"Do you remember returning from Bandomeer, Master?"
Qui-Gon was surprised by the question, which seemed to have no
relevance to their conversation.
"Of course, Obi-Wan."
"You had to report to the Council and you told me to wait in
your quarters. The Jedi at the Temple had heard about the
explosions on Bandomeer, but no-one outside of the Council knew
everything that had happened. I was on my way to your quarters
when Master S'illtu saw me. He assumed I had been sent back to
the Temple for re-assignment due to the destruction of the
Bandomeer mines. He wouldn't believe me when I told him you had
asked me to be your Padawan."
If Qui-Gon Jinn was surprised to hear this story for the first
time it did not show on his features.
"Sit, Obi-Wan." His Padawan was clearly tiring fast, and from
the grateful smile he received in answer to his command, he did
not mind the order. The Jedi Master waited until Obi-Wan was
sitting on the bed before taking a chair himself and crossing
his arms.
"Continue."
"Master S'illtu told me I'd have to wait in the common room. I
didn't think you would want me to make a scene, so I went with
him. Bruck was there with a bunch of his friends. He heard
Master S'illtu telling me to wait until I received word of my
next AgriCorps assignment, and he thought it was hilarious."
Even Obi-Wan's beautifully modulated adult tones could not
disguise the twinge of remembered humiliation in his voice. The
Padawan looked to his Master for understanding.
"I hadn't been with you long, and I wasn't sure that you really
meant it when you asked me to be your Padawan. Bruck and his
friends were giving it everything they could and I wanted to
shut them up but I couldn't. All I could think about was, what
if they were right? What if I told them I was to be your
Padawan and you changed your mind? And the reasonable part of
me that said you wouldn't change your mind told me to shut up
and not make a scene. That if you found me in the middle of a
fight in the common room you just might decide I was too
much trouble."
Qui-Gon Jinn sat, transfixed, by the story. Until now he had
never realised the depths of insecurity that clung to his
Padawan. They would have to work on that.
"And then Valerin came in. He heard what they were saying and
he looked over at me, this miserable little kid who wasn't even
fighting back, and he just smiled. Then he told Bruck he'd just
seen the recommendations from Master Remm and that Bruck had
been recommended for a position that would suit him to the
ground. Pig farming on Kalateo. Valerin said it with such
confidence that everyone in the room believed him. Bruck just
turned bright purple and all his friends shut up immediately.
Valerin winked at me, grabbed the book he'd been sent to get,
and left. It was the first time another apprentice stood up for
me. I never forgot it."
Qui-Gon Jinn sat silently, just raising an eyebrow when Obi-Wan
looked his way. Obi-Wan complied with his unspoken request to
continue the story.
"You were in with the Council for hours that night. Bruck spent
the whole time trying to convince himself and his friends that
Valerin had been lying, and practically forgot about me. Until
you came in." Obi-Wan grinned reminiscently at the memory.
"We were all desperate to be Padawans - but to be the Padawan
of the great Qui-Gon Jinn, well, that was a fantasy everyone
had. You were the most famous of all the Masters, you were
practically a God to the younger apprentices. Bruck and his
friends nearly wet themselves when you walked in to the common
room. But you looked right through them as though they didn't
exist, and then you just said, "Come, Padawan." I swear they
all had simultaneous heart failure." Obi-Wan chuckled.
He looked over at his Master, who was watching him with an
indulgent smile.
"And Valerin?" It was a gentle reminder as to the original
subject.
"Oh, yes. Valerin became one of my best friends. You and I were
away from the Temple so much it was hard to fit in during the
short times we spent here. I didn't know most of the other
Padawans, and if it had been left up to me, I probably wouldn't
have made any friends at all. But Val took me under his wing.
He teased me when I got too serious, he listened to me when I
needed a shoulder to cry on. I owed him for that, Master."
Qui-Gon Jinn's beautiful blue eyes showed concern.
"Why would you need his shoulder to cry on, my Padawan? What
problem was so bad you couldn't come to your Master with it?"
Obi-Wan flushed but remained silent.
"Ah. The wicked Master who refused to allow his Padawan any
outlet for his sexual frustration." Qui-Gon Jinn fought a smile
at Obi-Wan's embarrassed features.
"Thank you, Master. I know one can never have enough
humiliation for one week." Obi-Wan's voice was dry, but he was
fighting a grin.
Qui-Gon laughed at his Padawan's comment.
"There's no need to be embarrassed, Obi-Wan. While we are on
the subject, however, I wonder if you would mind answering a
question?" His voice was as courteous as ever, but it was a
question from a Master to a Padawan, and thus, there was little
likelihood of Obi-Wan refusing.
"Yes, Master?"
"I only wondered if perhaps you had been helping Valerin for
another reason. Were the two of you lovers?"
Obi-Wan was surprised at the question.
"Yes ......... well, sort of, Master."
"I may be considerably in advance of your years, Padawan, but I
didn't think things had changed that much since my time.
How exactly can two people be 'sort of' lovers?," Qui-Gon asked
in dry tones.
Obi-Wan grinned.
"I meant, we've slept together before, but not for a while. And
we're not really lovers in that we were never in love. It was
more a fuck between friends kind of thing."
It was so incongruous to hear that word in Obi-Wan's
distinctive cultured accent that Qui-Gon Jinn could only stare
blankly at his apprentice for several long moments. His Padawan
was sitting with his arms clasped around his legs, on top of
the bed. Even the childish posture could not disguise the fact
that he was looking at a young man. Obi-Wan was truly a boy no
longer.
As he met Obi-Wan's eyes again Qui-Gon was conscious of the
thought that Obi-Wan would patiently answer any question his
Master asked, despite any attendant pain or embarrassment the
answering entailed. The question should perhaps have remained
unasked, but Qui-Gon allowed his feelings to do his thinking
and spoke it out loud anyway.
"Have you ever been in love, my Padawan?"
There was silence for a long, long time before Obi-Wan finally
answered.
"Yes, Master."
It was all that needed to be said. The look in Obi-Wan's eyes,
the nuance of his tone, the brevity of the reply told Qui-Gon
Jinn everything he wanted to know. Obi-Wan Kenobi was in love
with him.
There was a silence between the two men for the next week, but
it was a comfortable silence. For Qui-Gon Jinn, it was an
extremely pleasant time spent with his Padawan, and during his
time alone he considered Obi-Wan's feelings for him. There was
a definite sense of anticipation in the Jedi Master, and
Qui-Gon Jinn smiled more during the following week than he had
in the eight months preceding it.
Obi-Wan was not quite as happy as his Master, but he considered
things to be vastly improved on the past few months. The
unspoken admission of his love for his Master had relieved his
mind of a load he hadn't realised it was bearing. The romantic
in Obi-Wan wanted to believe that Qui-Gon Jinn would take him
as a lover, but the insecure adult remembered the decade long
relationship his Master was apparently still involved in, and
his heart ached for the knowing.
Valerin had sent word several days after his assignment to the
AirCorps - a long, chatty letter full of cheeky references
about Flight Instructors and cute trainees. Obi-Wan was glad to
hear that Valerin was okay, but he felt badly for his friend.
The very fact that Valerin had written instead of sending a
recording, or even calling live, suggested that Valerin still
had a way to go before he could convincingly state that he
enjoyed being away from the Temple.
One good thing to come out of the whole Valerin incident was
that Obi-Wan was no longer a pariah amongst the other Padawans.
Xera had told them about Obi-Wan leaving the Temple to go and
pick Valerin up, and it appeared that this simple task had
restored his shaky reputation amongst his peers. For whatever
reason it had come about, Obi-Wan was happy to have people to
talk to again. Restriction to the Temple made for a very
limited social scene.
'Coming, Obi-Wan?" It was Berren who asked, but the whole group
waited for Obi-Wan to follow them.
"Not tonight, Berren." Obi-Wan gave a pleasant smile and made
his way from the room, watching the group of Padawans laughing
and chatting as they left without him. He had no great desire
to join them, but it was lonely in his room by himself and he
longed for some company. As though in answer to his thoughts,
the familiar warm tones of his Master interrupted his
concentration.
"Alone tonight, Obi-Wan?"
Obi-Wan smiled ruefully.
"My own fault, Master. I'm sorry that you have to share my
punishment too."
Qui-Gon Jinn smiled.
"I'm past the age of trolling nightclubs until all hours,
Obi-Wan. Perhaps we can bear each other company tonight?"
~I wish~ Obi-Wan's automatic mental response could not possibly
have been heard by his non-telepathic Master, but there was a
slight raise to Qui-Gon's eyebrow that made Obi-Wan wonder for
a split second of panic if he had spoken the thought out loud.
"Yes, Master - I'd like to, very much."
"Come along then, Obi-Wan."
The Padawan followed his Master obediently, surprised to
discover they were headed for Qui-Gon's private quarters. He
had been here many times, of course, but never beyond the main
door. As he entered now, he looked around him with interest.
These quarters were permanently assigned to Qui-Gon Jinn, and
although the Jedi Master spent only a very small amount of time
within the suite of rooms, he had left the stamp of his
personality on them.
Qui-Gon watched indulgently as Obi-Wan explored the main room
with interest. There was the bookshelf that was full to
overflowing with the most amazing range of books Obi-Wan could
imagine. As much as he wanted to examine all the titles and
draw what conclusions he could from them, the lure of the long
shelf along the back wall drew him immediately. Here were
displayed the most incredible assortment of gifts received over
the years from grateful dignitaries and other rulers. None of
these were expensive - accepting gratuity for their work was
against the Jedi Code - but all the gifts held some meaning for
their givers. There were shells and pictures, figurines and
children's toys, jewellery and every kind of knick-knack you
could ask for. Obi-Wan picked up several different items,
amazed alternately at their beauty or at their sheer bad taste,
all the while marvelling at the many planets his Master had
helped over the years.
When he turned around finally, it was to find Qui-Gon emerging
from the bedroom. His Master had removed his cloak, sash, boots
and outer garments, and was dressed only in the very light
tunic and leggings that generally constituted a workout or
relaxation costume. Obi-Wan swallowed at the unexpected
intimacy of this situation, attempting with difficulty to
control the sudden surge of lust that was threatening to
overcome him. Qui-Gon moved efficiently around the room,
pouring two drinks and taking out a box from a drawer to place
it on the main table. He put the drinks down, sat on one of the
chairs and motioned Obi-Wan to the other.
"You've been telling me for years that you'll beat me one day
at Discard, Obi-Wan. Well, tonight's your chance." He laid out
the pieces of the board as Obi-Wan sat opposite him, seeming
not to notice his Padawan's sudden nervousness.
Obi-Wan picked up his wine and took a large sip. Qui-Gon
watched him, smiling gently, and then asked,
"All right?"
Obi-Wan returned the smile warmly and answered truthfully.
"Yes, Master."
They played for a couple of hours, and Obi-Wan could not
remember having a better time in anyone's company. Qui-Gon Jinn
had a dry sense of humour, and a seemingly inexhaustable font
of funny stories that kept Obi-Wan laughing for most of the
evening. Both glasses were re-filled and drunk, but it wasn't
the wine that gave Obi-Wan the warm glow he felt right through
to his bones. It was Qui-Gon. He was at once funny and witty
and warm and insightful and everything Obi-Wan had ever wanted
in a soul-mate. Not to mention that the package came in a body
that made his mouth go dry just thinking of. At Qui-Gon's
gentle persuasion, Obi-Wan opened up more and found himself
sharing anecdotes of some of his more embarrassing moments
during his career at the Temple. He had always possessed a
lively sense of the ridiculous, and he discovered how much he
loved to hear the sound of his Master's laugh.
The night passed too quickly, and Obi-Wan never wanted it to
end. As his Master rose to adjust the temperature controls at
the panel on the wall, Obi-Wan watched his long, lean form with
hungry eyes, wanting him so badly it was an ache. There should
be a law against legs that long, he thought hazily, not even
attempting to disguise the raw passion in his expression as his
Master turned back to face him.
Qui-Gon just stood for a long moment, meeting the hot gaze of
his apprentice, enjoying the undisguised lust on Obi-Wan's
features. So, his Padawan was going to make a move, after all?
He smiled at the thought, before a strong surge of lust swept
over his own body at the husky tones of his Padawan.
"I don't want to sleep alone tonight, Master."
Qui-Gon Jinn's silence was answer enough, and Obi-Wan's
rational mind shut down then as his world narrowed to a very
small suite of rooms and the beautiful man walking towards him.
Obi-Wan rose as Qui-Gon slowly approached the table, and
removed his outer cloak. His eyes met his Master's steadily, as
he continued to strip silently. Qui-Gon Jinn continued his
approach until he was within arm's length of his Padawan, but
he had yet to say a word. And then Obi-Wan was naked, and the
heat of Qui-Gon's gaze over his body was a physical caress. He
leaned into it hungrily, enjoying the eyes upon his body, but
wanting more.
"Bedroom, Obi-Wan." The command was delivered in a husky tone
that matched the obsidian depths of Qui-Gon's gaze. Obi-Wan
barely noted the command, just that Qui-Gon used his name.
"I'm not going to take you on the table, Padawan."
Obi-Wan couldn't make his legs work and his mouth was literally
watering at the meal that was to be his. He was dizzy with lust
and if Qui-Gon were to touch him, there was a good chance he
might explode from the pent-up need that had been building for
so long. Qui-Gon's knowing smile didn't ease his craving any.
His Master reached out then, but instead of touching his aching
body, one large hand instead wrapped the long Padawan braid
around it once, then gently pulled Obi-Wan towards him. Qui-Gon
walked backwards slowly, pulling Obi-Wan with him to the
bedroom. Obi-Wan could only follow blindly. Finally they were
in the bedroom, and Qui-Gon used the braid to pull Obi-Wan's
head closer so that his own could dip down and capture
Obi-Wan's mouth under his own. Obi-Wan opened his mouth and
accepted his Master's tongue with a groan. And then he was
licking and stroking and the taste of his Master was a drug he
knew he would never get enough of.
They were still not touching but the need inside Obi-Wan gave
thought to his limbs and he grabbed two fistfuls of Qui-Gon's
tunic and pulled his Master closer as their tongues continued
to mate. And then his Master's large, beautiful hands were
spanning his bare backside and pulling him closer and Obi-Wan's
hands left the tunic to span Qui-Gon's skull, tangling in his
hair as he pulled their bodies impossibly closer. His cock was
hard and leaking, pressed against his Master's thigh, and he
could feel the answering hardness against his stomach.
Instinctively, Obi-Wan reached out with the Force and one hand
reached down to rip Qui-Gon's tunic from his body while the
other stayed spanning his Master's head, pulling him down so
that their mouths could meet. The Force enhanced movements of
his other hand gave him plenty of skin to touch and too soon it
wasn't enough to stand, he had to have more.
For Qui-Gon Jinn the aggressiveness of his Padawan was an
unexpected bonus and he was content for the moment to let
Obi-Wan take the lead. His own arousal was hard and heavy
against his stomach, throbbing with the need of too many nights
dreaming about this moment. His clothes were virtually torn
from his body with no thought to their preservation, and
Obi-Wan seemed reluctant to allow any movement which required
distance between their entwined tongues. The Jedi Master had
too many years of training to completely lose his mind,
however, and he could feel Obi-Wan's frustration already, and
decided to take command. He'd let go of the Padawan braid in
order to palm the gorgeous behind he'd eyed so many times, but
the braid provided an easy handle for his energetic Padawan.
Qui-Gon used it to pull Obi-Wan's mouth from his own, and when
Obi-Wan reached for him again he put one hand up to stop him.
"No, Padawan." Whether it was the words or the tone, Obi-Wan
found himself instinctively responding to the command. Qui-Gon
let go of his braid, and removed the last vestiges of the
ripped tunic completely, before stripping his long legs of the
casual leggings. He stood there then, naked before his Padawan,
breathtakingly aroused. Obi-Wan drank in the sight of the long,
naked limbs, the aroused flesh, the smile and the heat from the
gaze that burned him with its intensity. There was just one
thing he had to do before devouring his Master. He reached up
behind Qui-Gon's head, and gently removed the hair tie that
pulled his Master's hair back. Qui-Gon seemed amused by his
Padawan's fascination with the long locks that now fell loosely
about his shoulders, but Obi-Wan was transfixed. This was
everything he'd ever wanted standing before him and a part of
him couldn't believe it was true.
And then their mouths met again and there was no more thought
for a long time.
Obi-Wan stretched on the bed sleepily, enjoying the faint aches
from his body that were a physical reminder of the passion he'd
shared with Qui-Gon Jinn the night before. He reached out
without opening his eyes, but the space beside him in the big
bed was empty. Reluctantly, Obi-Wan opened his eyes and sat up,
looking around the room for his Master.
There was the low murmuring of conversation in the next room
and Obi-Wan got out of bed to investigate. A quick glance
around showed nothing to hide his naked form in, and he
recalled leaving his clothes in the main room the evening
before. Unwilling to walk out to the main room naked, and
announce to whomever his Master was with what they had spent
most of the night doing, Obi-Wan crept to the doorway quietly,
waiting for whoever the guest was to leave so that he could get
dressed.
As he leaned against the wall next to the door, out of sight of
his Master and the unknown visitor, Obi-Wan winced slightly at
the twinge from his backside. There was a reminiscent grin,
then, as he recalled the reason for his mild discomfort this
morning, and instead of releasing the pain to the Force,
Obi-Wan hugged it to himself, not wanting to forgo even this
subtle reminder of Qui-Gon's possession.
The murmuring became clearer now as Obi-Wan heard Qui-Gon move
about the room, and his guest raised his voice slightly to
continue the conversation.
".............Council will never approve, Qui-Gon."
It was Mace Windu.
"I'm not going to back down on this one, Mace. Besides, I have
a contact on the Council who owes me at least one
favour, don't I?" Qui-Gon's voice was low and amused. Obi-Wan
frowned at the unexpected intimacy inherent in the tone. He'd
never heard his Master talk to Master Windu in quite that
manner before.
Master Windu's voice was still only just in range, and Obi-Wan
strained to hear his answer.
"....................my lover, Qui-Gon, doesn't mean you get
any special favours from me. The boy is still young. And while
I can forgive your transgressions, I don't know that Obi-Wan is
mature enough to cope with your impulsiveness."
Obi-Wan went cold all over. Mace Windu was his Master's lover.
And had been for ten years. Clearly, he was saying that the
Council wouldn't approve of Qui-Gon impulsively taking his
Padawan to bed for an evening, and that he thought Obi-Wan
might make a scene. Qui-Gon's answer was lost in the rush of
blood to Obi-Wan's brain as he struggled to combat equal parts
of grief, and anger, and devastation. He could never compete
with a ten year relationship. Were it anyone but Mace
Windu........! The Padawan blinked back the tears from his eyes
and padded silently back to the bed to sit on it. The murmuring
behind him continued, but he was no longer interested in the
conversation.
So Mace Windu could forgive Qui-Gon's "transgression", could
he? How noble, Obi-Wan thought bitterly. Well, if Qui-Gon Jinn
and Mace Windu were worried that he'd get all emotional over a
one night stand, they had another thought coming.
Obi-Wan heard the outer door close, and rose to stand beside
the bed as Qui-Gon re-entered the bedroom. As his Master smiled
gently and approached him, Obi-Wan mentally drew up a fortress
around his heart. If his Master thought he couldn't be
dignified and casual about this, well - he would soon see just
how cold Obi-Wan Kenobi could be.
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