Archive: M_A, and my soon-to-be up site, everyone else, please
ask (I'll probably say yes, but ask first)
Category: Angst, H/C, POV, and watch for inside jokes.
Rating: G/PG (at least read it!)
Spoilers: The 4 movies and the second chapter of Timothy Zahn's
_Heir_to_the_Empire_ (if you don't get it by now...there's no
helping you...)
Feedback: Jedi I may be, but proud I am (my ego is the size of
Montana, ask Kai). Please do not make me feel insecure: write!
Acknowledgements: Forever am I greatful to Kaiburr for putting
up with me as a friend (and High Queen), getting me hooked on
the insanity of M_A, and proofing my works. Also grateful I am
to April, for it was her first-line challenge that made me
write this piece.
Warnings: This is my first fic to this fandom. Also follows
canon. You know what that means. *cough*thatscene*cough*
Disclaimer: If I was George Lucas, I'd be filthy rich, old,
have kids, and not be able to direct worth shit. While the
latter may be true -- I've never had the opportunity to find
out -- the first three are not. Hence, I'm not Lucas and do not
own his boys. I just borrowed them so they could have some
alone-time.
~ blah~ signifies thoughts.
Forever sounded like a long time, until he tried to imagine
forever without him. Then it became the eternity it truly was.
And now he was living it. Obi-Wan pushed his lean frame away
from the door to his padawan's quarters, where Anakin lay
sleeping like the dead. He only hoped Qui-Gon's sacrifice would
not be in vain, that the boy would turn out to be the Chosen
One Qui-Gon was willing to give his love and life for. That
still hurt, but only because it was unfinished business. He had
long forgiven his Master for pushing him aside. Just like he
had forgiven him every pathetic lifeform his Master had ever
taken in -- from that half-dead stray on Corellia to Jar Jar
Binks on Naboo.
Drinking his now-cold cha, Obi-Wan wondered what would have
happened had his Master lived. Would the Council have granted
him the status of Knight? Would Qui now be training Ani while
he was off on some Force-forsaken planet? ~Stop this,~ he told
himself. ~It does no good to dwell on the maybes or
might-have-beens. It's not like you could ever discover those
'ifs'.~
He ordered himself to meditate, to calm himself and seek
guidance. But though he remembered his Master's words about
being mindful of the future at the expense of the present, the
future was where his thoughts dwelled. The empty future,
without his love.
Failure. He had failed. Failed in training Anakin and keeping
him to the light. Failed in saving the Jedi. Failed in stopping
Palpatine, failed in protecting Amidala and her children. Owen
was right, he should have stayed a farmer. At least that way he
wouldn't have failed Qui-Gon.
As it was, he had to see Anakin fall into that pit and rise out
as Darth Vader forevermore. He had to see the Jedi
systematically hunted down and Yoda disappear into the darkness
of Dagobah. He had to see Palpatine cast off the Republic and
call himself Emperor, had to separate Amidala from one of her
children and plead with Owen to raise the boy.
Well, now was the time to begin the reckoning. Through that
boy, Luke, Qui-Gon's prophesy would come true. Obi-Wan would
see to it, even if it cost him his last breath. Order, balance,
redemption would occur, and the Jedi would rise again. That was
his goal, that was his mission, that...was all that was left
for him. For Qui-Gon.
"Obi-Wan!" The voice startled him from his goodbyes with Luke.
It was a much-loved voice that he had missed hearing for the
past thirty nine years, and Obi-Wan hurried to finish his last
words with the only living Jedi Knight. He would never again
see Luke, Leia, or Han, and was surprised to find that he
welcomed the thought. Then again, that voice could easily be
the reason for his feelings.
"Yes, Master?" he asked as soon as he finished. His voice
expressed the joy he felt at being with the man -- ghost, soul,
whatever -- he loved for the first time in nearly four decades,
yet there was an undercurrent of dread.
"What is it, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon inquired as he approached,
looking exactly as he was engraved in Obi's memory. To his
surprise, Obi found himself looking just as he had all those
years ago on Naboo.
"I failed you, Master..." the joy and dread were now both
submerged in dejection.
"No, you did not," Qui-Gon's voice was firm, the controlled
tones of a Jedi Master instructing his Padawan. "You trained
Anakin, and he did bring balance, albeit in a way no one
expected. You redeemed him at the last--"
"Luke redeemed him," Obi-Wan interrupted.
"But you watched Luke, protected him, guided him, and taught
him. Without you, he would never have had the chance. Obi-Wan,"
Qui-Gon put his hands on his former Padawan's shoulders, "You
did well, and I am very proud of you. Very greatful to you, and
still very much in love with you." At the last, Qui-Gon brought
his lips firmly down on Obi-Wan's, encountering no resistance.
The kiss was soul-searing, for they were now only souls, and
was too long in coming. By the time they broke apart, Obi-Wan
was flushed and happy. His Master's love, a gift he had
long-thought lost, was always there and always guiding him. And
now, he could bask in its lovely light.
Archive 