Alone

PT (padawantravina@aol.com)

Archive: master_apprentice, and my homepage only- http://journalsofthejedi.homestead.com

Category: angst, POV

Rating: PG

Warnings: no sex, just a lot of angst

Spoilers: this takes place after "TPM".

Summary: Obi-Wan's feelings after the death of his master.

Feedback: yes, please, any comments welcome.

Notes: Ok this is not a happy piece. I wrote this to get over some feelings that I had when i lost my aunt this past week. I thought I would post it at the urging of a few friends. I hope you all like it and I do love feedback..

Thanks!

I sit alone in your room and watch you as you sleep. Everyone has gone, giving me time alone. They tell me that you have gone and that soon they will come take you away.

I laugh at them and tell them that you are not gone, that you are just sleeping and healing and that soon you will wake up.

Soon, though, I am told that I must leave, that they must take you from me. I refuse to let you go, and fight them as they try to move me from beside you. I feel something prick my neck and then the darkness overtakes me.

I awake to find my self alone. I quickly call out your name but you're not there. That is when I realize that you are truly gone and I let out a cry that can only be seen as animalistic. The nurse runs back in as my cry dies on my lips.

I let the healers put me back to sleep, not wanting to feel anything. I awake once again, and just lay there staring at the white walls. People come in wanting to see how I am doing, if I am all right. They ask if there is anything that they can do to help. I just say no and watch as they leave. Soon the faces become a blur and are replaced by your face.

The tears that I have been holding back soon begin to flow and I am unable to stop them. Soon my body is wracked by sobs. I feel strong arms pull me into their embrace, offering me soothing words, telling me it will all be ok. I fall asleep once again.

The next time I awaken I find the boy curled up next to me, asleep. I could see the tearstains from were they had run down his face, and it hits me once again. That you are not coming back, that you are lost to me forever. And that you have left me this heavy burden of training a boy that I think is dangerous. How can I do this without you?

I glance up when I hear my name called. I gasp in shock and as I see you standing in my room. I call out to you not believing my eyes. I see you answer me, but I cannot hear what you are saying. I poor my feelings out to you, praying that this will cause you to stay; yet it does not. I watch as you fade away, but I read your lips and cry out again as you say you love me and will always be with me. Then you are gone once again.

I feel the boy move next to me, and I look down as he begins to awake and I know then and there that I will train the boy, if only to feel closer to you, my master.

I will miss you, but I now know that you will never be gone as long as I keep you alive in my heart and by your teachings. Thank you, my master.