This silly ficlet was just my attempt to thank BlackRose for
all the wonderful art she's been drawing and sharing with us.
I'm posting it with her permission. It's very short, and *very*
silly. I don't usually write humor, so please be kind to me!
Category: humor
Rating: G
Archive: M_A, if sockii wants it
Summary: BlackRose deals with her art bunnnies
The distinct odor of kitty litter wafted through her bedroom,
and BlackRose's nose crinkled as she was roused from sleep.
"Off," she mumbled, tugging at the comforter as she became
aware of a weight on her chest.
A snort of warm air blew against her cheek. Grudgingly, she
opened her eyes and was greeted by an affable brownish bunny,
nose wiggling, whiskers twitching, blinking perkily at her.
"Whadyawan?" she asked sleepily, drawing the blankets up to her
chin. Then, more distinctly, "Got enough bunnies!"
"I'm a Lilith Art Bunny!" the bunny said in a cheerful voice,
thumping up and down on her chest. "Draw me!!"
With a groan, BlackRose rolled over and buried her face in the
pillow. "No, no, no," she wailed. "No more! Tell Lilith to put
away her keyboard!"
"No can do," the bunny said crisply. "Get to drawin', missy."
"And draw me, too!" came a voice from the side of the bed.
BlackRose moved her head slowly to the edge and peered over
with one bleary eye. Below her was a tiny bunny in shackles and
chains, hopping on its hind legs. It looked suspiciously like
it was begging.
"What do you want?" she asked, sounding very grumpy.
"I'm the bondage bunny!" it said, forlornly. "You kicked me
aside in favor of all those pretty elemental pictures. Well,
I'm baaaaa-aaaack..." The bunny flopped over dejectedly and
exposed its tummy. "You have to draw me! I'm a special bunny!"
"This isn't happening," BlackRose muttered, as the Lilith-bunny
inched its way up her chest, sniffing at her.
"You know," it said conversationally, "you're not allowed to
pet the plot bunnies until you've taken care of us art
bunnies."
"What??!!" BlackRose shrieked, grabbing the bunny by its artsy
ears and flinging it off the bed. She punted away the bunny
sitting on her slippers and stuffed her feet into them, then
padded across the room to her computer. Just as she sat down, a
dark blur obscured her vision, and a bunny landed with a plop
on the keyboard.
She extended a finger and typed, "JA-"
WHAM! Two big feet smacked her squarely in the chest, toppling
her over in her chair, feet sticking up, eyes popping out.
"Toldja," said the Lilith-bunny smugly.
"Draw me," whined the scrawny bunny in the corner.
"Nuh-uh. Not enough characterization," BlackRose snarled. "Back
off."
"Draw me, BlackRose!" demanded the bunny on her foot, nibbling
at her toes.
"No way," BlackRose said, leaning over and squinting. "Hey,
waitaminute. You're Gayle's bunny! Get outta here!!"
"Draw me," said a whiny little bunny, so pale it was almost
transparent.
BlackRose threw out her hand. "Please!" she said. "Insufficient
descriptives."
"Hey," said a big black bunny, jumping up on the bedspread and
landing on the sleeping figure in the bed, who responded with
an 'oof'. The bunny pulled out a carrot and chewed on it
calmly. "What the hell does it take to get drawn around here?"
"I have to be inspired!" BlackRose cried, throwing her hands
over her eyes. "Qui-Gon! Take me away!"
There was a sudden flash of green light, followed by the
shrieking of helpless bunnies and the smell of singed bunny-fur
and, strangely, chalk-dust and oil paint. And leather.
"There," soothed Qui-Gon. "All better now, my dear." He put an
arm around BlackRose's shoulders, as she looked up at him
adoringly.
"Oh, thank you!" she gushed.
"Never mind that. Let's talk about these nude pictures of
yours...and while I'm here, I have a request." The tall Jedi
master leaned over and whispered in her ear. "How about some
full-frontal nudity padawan?"
"AAAHHG!" she screamed, as ten lean, muscular bunnies fell on
her head at once.
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